Venting... it’s Not fair to have good days with the A
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Join Date: Jul 2018
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Spot on!
Originally Posted by alwayscovering 
I completely understand what you are saying. I go through this all the time. It's why I'm still with him. Those brief periods when he isn't drinking I think 'Ah, there he is, the charming, intelligent, funny guy I married.'
Mr Hyde eventually shows up and it tears another little piece of my heart away.
Mr Hyde eventually shows up and it tears another little piece of my heart away.
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 61
Self torture, spot on. My ah “quit” for a week which is also providing false hope I suppose...
Originally Posted by trailmix
There is that or just give up the "hope".
That's just some good old torture for yourself, nothing more.
I'm not saying he will never get help, I don't know. What I am saying is he hasn't given you any reason to think he will? Acceptance. Accept he is an alcoholic. He isn't two people Good Guy and Bad Guy, he is one person and these are just different parts of him. On "good" days he is still both. One does not absolve the other. You have probably gotten really good at excluding the bad for a few days of relief of the good..
That's just some good old torture for yourself, nothing more.
I'm not saying he will never get help, I don't know. What I am saying is he hasn't given you any reason to think he will? Acceptance. Accept he is an alcoholic. He isn't two people Good Guy and Bad Guy, he is one person and these are just different parts of him. On "good" days he is still both. One does not absolve the other. You have probably gotten really good at excluding the bad for a few days of relief of the good..
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Join Date: Feb 2018
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[QUOTE]I suppose that's why we have the ability to think, remember and learn. Unless your qualifier has undertaken real recovery you know the good times are temporary.[/QUOTE]
This hit home for me. Quietly Tired... Looks like we're seated next to each other on the same roller coaster. I drew a picture of myself riding a roller coaster today.
We too had two good days over the weekend, then the week came and it all came crashing down. I'm trying to take the good with the bad, and keep it all in perspective, but it's not easy.
Until they commit to recovery, they won't get better, and neither will we if we don't detach physically or mentally.
This hit home for me. Quietly Tired... Looks like we're seated next to each other on the same roller coaster. I drew a picture of myself riding a roller coaster today.
We too had two good days over the weekend, then the week came and it all came crashing down. I'm trying to take the good with the bad, and keep it all in perspective, but it's not easy.
Until they commit to recovery, they won't get better, and neither will we if we don't detach physically or mentally.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
It sounds like you're infusing the good days with more meaning than they deserve. Eg., it's better, it will improve, life will be better, tomorrow will be like today, etc. Not true. It's progressive disease that steadily spirals out of control.
Eventually every day will be terrible.
Eventually every day will be terrible.
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