WhiteFeathers

So, I have 2 cats who live like actual royalty, lounging in the sunny spot at the window or taking over the good chair. They get lots of food and snuggles and are the happiest cats on earth.

STBXAH got 2 cats for his house (he lives next door) to help deal with his mice problem (when you are constantly drunk it's difficult to maintain cleanliness and put away your food and stuff, so he has a bad vermin problem).

So, he called a shelter to deliver 2 feral cats that would ideally be good mouse hunters. The shelter said they would need a shed or a crawl
space or something to live in. So they live in the laundry room in the basement. They were terrified for months and hid in the walls whenever anyone came in to feed them. Now, they are mostly relaxed and allow us to look at them and even meow for food, but they don't leave the laundry room (sometimes they sit just outside). They don't let anyone pet them and they won't come inside the house (his house or mine).

Compared to my 2 cats, these feral cats live very deprived lives. They sleep in a dark basement room, they never get snuggles, they don't get to bird-watch from the sunny window and they have never felt the comfort of an actual bed (they do have cat beds, don't worry).

There is nothing stopping them from being house cats and leading lives of unparalleled luxury but fear. They are afraid of people because that's their paradigm.

I have had a similar paradigm. I've feared the world so I've stayed in my metaphorical basement laundry room for too long. I've been so scared of getting slapped down by the world that I've preferred to stay in the dankest of all relationships.

Like the feral cats, I've started to allow a little more. I've allowed myself my own space, my job, some new friends. I also filed for divorce which is super scary because it's like shutting the door completely to my dingy laundry room and I have to trust, somehow, that there is a sunny spot at the window for me in this world. I can't see it totally yet, but neither can those cats. They have no idea how good they could have it if only they would trust.

Those are my deep thoughts this morning

dandylion

WhiteFeathers….that is a great analogy...…
There is a spot that is waiting for you.....

amy55

I can really relate to this because, I became the "feral cat". I started to sleep in the backseat of my car because I was too afraid to go in the house. My therapist finally convinced me to move back into the house to the basement, but made me call it "the downstairs apt". I was isolating myself, because I was told no one liked me. I crawled out of that basement, and back into my car. It wasn't so I could sleep, it was so I could escape. I turned that key in my car, and I drove 1 1/2 hours away to my friends house.

I know back then that I couldn't really see a future for myself, but I was never really able to see a future for myself in the situation that I was in.

I now have a beautiful house, I have 4 cats that own me, and I just picked up a new puppy yesterday. I am in constant contact with my 2 children, and see them often. I even bought myself those rocking chairs so that you can rock in them at the end of the day and just see how blessed and loved that you are. I can see my future now, I just had to take that anchor off of my leg.

((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
amy

trailmix

Amy I thought of you when reading WhiteFeathers post!

Thanks for posting this WF.

Maudcat

What a great post, WhiteFeathers.
I have two cats who own my a**.

Eauchiche

It's amazing how common the symptoms are, but each of us has to find their own way, often a lonely one. I fantasized about sleeping in my car too towards the end.

Fortunately, my ex is very good with animals. I go visit occasionally, and have two cats of my own.

BeachPlease

That was really good. I've been beginning to lay in the sunny spot, and it feels great.