Originally Posted by trailmix

Hey, it may seem hypocritical but the thing is you do know and that's huge. We don't all solve problems at the drop of a hat and it's a learning experience too, sometimes we have to do that.

If you decide to distance yourself completely, if you decide to remain just friends, if you decide to continue the relationship, this self examination of what your needs and boundaries are is a great thing for you going forward, regardless of how your current relationship goes.

Short story here. I was in a relationship that was totally unhealthy (for lack of a better term). Knew it, we broke off, away he went. Now I was realllllllly depressed over this, panicky, sad, I mean it was dark. I think, in retrospect, there were a lot of other issues with ME there, but anyway, I said "short".

I said, come back here and stay with me and let's look at this. Ok, person comes back and it's kind of - not really - ok for a while, then it is so totally not ok. Now I knew this, but I needed to see it through and I did and that was that.

Anyway, that's where i'm coming from.

Originally Posted by Glenjo99

I relate to this comment �� per cent!! You've hit the nail on the head. I feel deep down I need to see this through to wherever it goes. In my past I have always cut people out or not finished things, and this is the first time I have really stuck in and worked at something. I feel it's a maturity thing.

Originally Posted by trailmix

I will see this out and it will end when it ends and not before!

I have always given a good try, for sure over a period of years, so i'm not just cutting and running.

I think in that one I was talking about it was so unbelievable, so weird, so dysfunctional I had a hard time wrapping my head around it.

Maybe that's where you are at too. Trying to apply normal the abnormal?

Originally Posted by Glenjo99

For sure, it's been so amazing, full of highs and then extreme lows that I feel like "what has just happened". Almost trying to work it out and not wanting it to stop as I promised I would always be there unconditionally.

Originally Posted by trailmix

They say marriage is not a suicide pact - neither are relationships.

For example, someone gets married - love, honor, cherish - good/bad, sickness/health etc etc

Let's say those getting married are of good integrity. Those words, in general, are taken with the best of intentions and commitment. They get broken. Not because one person lacks maturity or fortitude, not because they are disloyal or liars.

They get broken because it is a two way street. Love, marriage, honor cherish is a promise for two, not one - both need to participate. When that does not happen those promises cannot be upheld, are not being upheld.

It's not a matter of wanting to, its a matter of being able to, not for some frivolous reason but for reasons of mental stability, safety, etc etc.

"Unconditionally" is a good thing, as long as you don't throw yourself under the bus in the process.