Hello, Iím the spouse of an alcoholic...

Old 07-18-2018, 02:30 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 13
ugh, get out now while you can Quietly tired, My situation was exactly the same as yours too.

These are all the things I DO NOT miss and glad I left.

Sleep the same time as him, cant move an inch from the sofa while he is recovering...(yeah that was hell watching some **** on tv he loved and I loathed....2 and a half men, he related to Charlie cause he drank that tv show dosent show the reality of alcohol)

Forcing me to stay awake when I was exhausted after looking after his ass all day and then him getting angry cause I couldnt stay awake.

Demanding attention all the time, asking would I leave him did I still love him.

Getting him another beer cause he couldnt even get up and walk to get another cause he was so drunk.

Walking to the store and bring home heavy bags of beer, only for him to greet me with anger and ask me why I took so long to come home with his precious beer.

His mood would change the drunker he got and he started calling me names, putting me down, telling me I wouldnt find anyone other than him.

Refusing to go the hospital to get medical treatment when he clearly needed it.

Being embarressed because he was drunk in public alot,,, and you have to try and avoid the looks people give you... its just embaressing

The money spent on alcohol left us broken and broke all the time.

His promises to stop drinking and become a better man ...... (yeah right)

Sex life was horrible when he was drunk, he would slobber instead of kiss and had no wood, if you know what I was degrading after a few times, I refused to even do it with him when he was drunk...YUCK

Collapsing on the bed, taking up all of the bed and there is nowhere for me to sleep........thanks alot.

Cleaning up beer cans in the morning cause he is either too lazy or too drunk to throw them away.

The disgusting smell of stale beer.

The sound of him opening a beer.

The way he always kept talking about alcohol and that when he drank he said it made him more clever, more sharp, more everything...(he obviously had no idea it did the opposite)

Talking about himself 24 / 7 and nothing else.

me gaining weight because the stress of him drinking drove me over the edge.

My mental exhaustion, worrying how I was going cope living with this man.

In the end, I got sick of it all and left. My life is worth more than spending it looking after some loser who cant even get his own life worked out. And decides to drink it away.

Im worth more than that.

I left, (it took me 7 years to finally leave, and to be honest, I wish I left years earlier than what I did)

And im never looking back.

I hope you find your freedom xoxoox

Last edited by misskittka; 07-18-2018 at 02:38 AM. Reason: forgot to add stuff
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Old 07-19-2018, 10:00 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by FeelingGreat View Post
Hi QT, I was wondering, can you control his behaviour when he's under the influence, or are you putting up with him pestering you because you don't want to hurt his feelings? You can't stop him drinking, but are you able to perhaps go to another room and tell him not to follow, and say it again more forcefully if he ignores you?
If that's possible, maybe you could set a boundary that you won't spend time with him when he's drunk? I'm thinking of your peace of mind, not a way to punish him for drinking or force him to stop. It's not a permanent solution, but it might give you some relief.
Iíve tried ignoring him, Iíve tried telling him to F off and leave me be, i canít tell if he canít remember five minutes later or just doesnít care. Iíve left and gone for walks from time to time but I donít really have anywhere else to go afterwards. I live in a really small town where everything closes early and donít have tons of friends nearby.
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Old 07-19-2018, 04:01 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 44
Quietly tired, I too was nervous to go to Al Anon. I live in a small town, and when I walked up to the meeting, I saw people I knew, I took a turn around to leave, but then made myself walk in the room. I knew several people, and since I've been attending, more people I know have come, some are business clients of mine. Whenever I get nervous or uncomfortable I think about how we're all there for the same reason - because our lives have become unmanageable. If anything, it's strengthen my relationships in the community with these individuals and they've become a tremendous support team. I'm currently living in one of my al anon friend's homes (I moved out last Monday).

Please find support and take care of you. You can take a break and take it one day at at time. Thinking of you!
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Old 07-20-2018, 09:37 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Posts: 61
Thank you all for your kind words. I look forward to getting to know you all more as the journey progresses.
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