Knowthetriggers just checking in!
 

Well hello friends!
It has been such a long time since I have checked in, so I had to go back and see just where I left off! Honestly, I read quite a few of my posts and just can’t believe that I survived that chaos.

I am happy to report that we are all in recovery, yes including the girls. Our teenager is now driving and will be graduating this coming school year. She is also working at her first job and has just been accepted into her 2nd year in her IT class at the High School Tech Center. We are so very proud of her and all her accomplishments. Of course, she is still the typical teenager with an attitude and a mouth. We are certainly going thru growing pains with her.

My youngest just turned 12 and thinks she is grown all of a sudden. She recently went to a local amusement park and rode three upside down roller coasters and proudly claimed that she is no longer a baby! She is also doing very well in school. She had A/B honor roll all year. She is my athlete and is doing very well in competition cheer

My RAH….well he is on a year and a half of sobriety. He is currently trying to switch jobs which will not only be more money for us but also a salaried position with guaranteed 40 hours a week and no more weekends or nights. Sometimes he makes me sick because his recovery is going so well – LOL. Not really, just kidding. It is nice to see the man that I once knew. I think what amazes me the most is how sharp his mind is. Yeah, he was a “functioning alcoholic” and he was still sharp but this is a sharpness I have never seen in him. He loves it, sometimes it drives me crazy – lol. We are still treating his cancer of the esophagus. His last biopsy showed no residual cancer cells so we go back in August to see if any has returned.

Me, well, I have been thru quite a bit this last year. Nothing to do with the RAH, thankfully. That is why I had to go back and read my older posts. I had been thru quite a bit with my then AH. Trying to protect my girls and get us out of a toxic situation. I had not realized how toxic my situation was at work! My manager, who I worked with for 12 years, had become so toxic in my life that I didn’t notice it until I was 6 months or so into my recovery. Sad to say, we worked together and were laid off together only to be hired by the same company. I said it was fate, but it turned into a nightmare. The story is long and outrageous but to sum it up – she was unhappy in our work place so she began to “check out” (sighing, hanging up on people, get upset when someone didn’t speak to her….). Honestly this was her behavior for the entire relationship I just couldn’t see it because of my own toxic attitude. My good conscience was tested when she found new work and decided to “call in sick” so she could get a full paycheck then planned on not returning. Knowing she was doing this and how it could impact my future with this company made me physically ill. I told my coworker that we could be in trouble if she doesn’t return and they find out we knew. So we decided to tell our VP. Since she has pretty much blamed me for her own fall out, took NO responsibility for her actions. The way she made it sound as if I was unloyal to her, yet here I was for weeks lying about it until I couldn’t anymore. No matter, she feels I am to blame. So I did tell her about herself and thanked her for throwing me under the bus in December with HR! Yeah, she wasn’t expecting me to find out about that. Once she left I could breath again and better yet I could finally do my work! My coworker and I could finally bond and work as a team. We were moved back to our original location (because of my manger we were basically “kicked out” and moved to another office location). I am so happy the toxic air is gone and just can’t believe I lived with it for so long but then I remember – I was just as toxic and living in such a toxic environment, I was blind and never did see it.
I am very happy now. I don’t get to many meetings because of the girls crazy schedules but I read and meditate each morning. On my way to work I lift my day up to my Higher Power and thank him for all of my blessings. My days can be stressful, but I lean on my readings and my Higher Power daily! I think of you and this group often. I hope you are all well and I hope you all have a blessed day!!

I will try not to stay away so long next time!!

~Knowthetriggers

Thanks so much for the update, "know"...and good to hear things are going well with your family and now at work. Man, it's so true what you wrote about being in a toxic environment for so long and not realizing the full extent of how it can wear on you! Some people are a real piece of work aren't they?

hey knowthetriggers! Good to hear from you. Thanks for checking in, always nice to see a happy update.

Are they ever! I am amazed how blind I was. I love recovery!

Amazing update! Thank you so much :)

What an inspiring post,! Thank you!

I love how your name reflects how you have also learned how codependency impacted your work relationships!r:You_Rock_

It's so great to hear from you! I am so glad you are your family are doing so well!

I really do miss you all!! I wish I took more time to visit the site more often. But while I am sharing I would also like to share a proud moment for both myself and my RAH....
Yesterday my oldest daughter had her therapy session and her therapist said to give her regards to my RAH. So I told her about his new job opportunity and she was pleased to hear how well he was doing. So she says....... "You have both done such an incredible job pulling it all together". I was so proud of us, of me, my RAH and my girls. That certainly warmed my heart.

HI!
You know I chose my name "Knowthetriggers" to remind me of what triggered me to react to my (at the time) AH. It never dawned on me how well this fit into my recovery!