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Old 11-10-2004, 06:31 AM
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Gracey
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projecting

First let me start off by saying that I am very calm......and I think that I handled things very well........

This weekend I plan on going up north to visit with my brother......I guess he is doing well right now. I was planning on going for the day, leaving at 6:00am and leaving Bay City around 2:00 so I can get back home around 4:00. This has been my plan oh, for the week.

My husband just called me at work, and told me his dad and his dad's new wife are coming to my house for the weekend.....my husband hates his new wife......he says he is ashamed that women has her last name......oh, he just goes on and on and on how much he doesnt like her. They were just married a couple of months ago......his father is a alcoholic...so you can just imagine the combo........gaddddddddddddssssssssssss......my husbands mother is just fine with the whole situation and plans to come to my house this weekend to visit with them...lol

this whole situation is insane.......almost crazy........I am laughing about it as I type....My husband is encouraging me to stay up north this weekend.......he says it is bad enough that he has to put up with it........that I shouldnt have to either.........lol.....I told him that I have to much to do this weekend.......my son has hockey game and a taste test to do on fruit snacks to earn 20 bucks...my weekend is just full.......and my parents dont have anywhere for me to sleep right now...and I am not willing to sleep on the floor anymore.....I was to sore last time.....and I had planned on coming home and I still plan on coming home...he started to get irritated with me on the phone.......hmmmmmmmm, wonder why........

I bet everyone here, knows the ending to this story..........is this called projecting, or just plain knowing the truth.
 
Old 11-10-2004, 08:23 AM
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I'm fairly new to this board, so I don't really know your story, but I think I know where this is going. I don't think you are projecting, I think you are predicting.

I know you will carry on with your weekend plans secure in the knowledge that you have not attempted to control this situation -- you are only doing what you planned to do in the first place. How sweet of him to be so concerned about you. It IS kind of humorous.
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Old 11-10-2004, 08:30 AM
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Gracey - Hope hit the Hammer on the Nail. Good for you for not swaying your plans.

It's amazing how concerned our AH's are when they want us out of their hair.
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Old 11-10-2004, 08:37 AM
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Gracey
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yea, he wants me gone, so he can get wasted with his alcoholic father.......I see it plain as day.....
 
Old 11-10-2004, 08:47 AM
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What's the difference between predicting and projecting?

BLAMING: Blaming (also called projecting) is maintaining that the responsibility for the behavior lies somewhere else, not with us. "You would drink too, if you were married to her!", "The cop was out to get me," or "I lost my job, that's what made me drink" are examples of blaming. The behavior is not denied, but its cause is placed 'out there', not within the person doing it.
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Old 11-10-2004, 08:53 AM
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aspouse - thanks for the clarification! helps me sort it out!
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Old 11-10-2004, 09:15 AM
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Gracey
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I havent said one word to my H about the reason I think he wants me up north....to stay the night....I am not going to.....

I guess what my struggle is......I am no longer living in denial...I am starting to see certain things for what they are.......isnt this my reality......isnt it better to live in reality and not keep the blinders on. I am not going to say one word how I am thinking to him.....cause it would only cause a fight.......I am keeping this to myself......and you guys who so graciously listen to my very soul pour out.....

(It sucks to me in my head doesnt it)

I am going to go on with my plans as planned this weekend......I am not going to change things for him........I would only be staying all night because he wants me too...not because I want to.....
 
Old 11-10-2004, 09:36 AM
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gracey - there you go - you had a plan and you are sticking to it!
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Old 11-10-2004, 09:38 AM
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To me, "projecting" is taking a possible scenario (real or imagined) and allowing yourself to run wild with what-ifs. "Predicting" is forecasting the outcome of a situation based on the facts or conditions known to you.

Projecting: Oh my gosh, what are we gonna do if it rains on our parade tomorrow? It might flood. We'll need boats. People might drown.

Predicting: Well, the skies are dark and cloudy. I think we can expect rain.
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