I Feel Mean
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 1,792
"....my ex had the brainstorm that if all the kids were in the same school, and on the same schedule, my oldest daughter would be able to be the after school babysitter for all of the kids, at my home...."
Wow. Just Wow.
With apologies to the ladies present, I wish I owned stock in this guy's underwear company.
He has more balls than anyone I ever heard of.
Wow. Just Wow.
With apologies to the ladies present, I wish I owned stock in this guy's underwear company.
He has more balls than anyone I ever heard of.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by Ladybird579 
I was gutted when friends thought we should reconcile. I thought is that how you see me...that I am only worth an active alcoholic with massive issues. I'd never ever suggest they did the same. It's been an experience. It's made me more determined then ever to get out of here at some point. I am spinning my wheels here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 37
I'm wondering if it's your son he's after and once that comes to resolution - either son moves in with him or son says absolutely not, the interest in the church will go away.
Regardless, I'm so sorry you're having to relive what was such a painful experience and justify your decision to people who should really just keep their noses in their own business. I hope your trip to Europe will be enough to recharge you and provide clarity.
Regardless, I'm so sorry you're having to relive what was such a painful experience and justify your decision to people who should really just keep their noses in their own business. I hope your trip to Europe will be enough to recharge you and provide clarity.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,262
That was why I asked on a different thread if anyone had revisited a past relationship so I could get some ammo to head these muppets off with cos it isn't happening.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 158
As for the questions on reconciliation… I think people just like to look at reality with fairy tale glasses on… it's probably a type of denial.
I haven't been married with an A but I got sick enough from my xabf. Some years after we broke up (some weeks ago, actually), I was talking to a friend on mine who invited us over when we were still together, Actually he kinda had her invite us over, he friended her on Facebook after meeting her once on my birthday, then kept in touch and somehow suggested the four of us get together (my friend&her husband, xabf & me). I had the worst time. Xabf brought a bottle of rum and practically emptied it on his own. He drank all of their beer. I'm sure he peed on the floor when he went to the toilet. He became loud and obnoxious and tried to pick a fight with my friends husband (luckily he didn't catch on). He didn't want to go when I suggested we leave.
It was extremely embarassing.
So anyway some weeks ago I finally got to talk to her about it (we lost touch afterwards for different reasons), I told her I was so ashamed and apologized for his behaviour. She wouldn't acknowledge he had been a douche! I tried to explain No, this wasn't just one drunk episode, he was like this all the time in the end. She just told me I shouldn't be so judgmental, and that there was nothing wrong with him.
It was so strange. She was supposed to be on my side, after all.
But what I'm getting at, people apparently are easily charmed by A's, even when they're drunk.
Try not to take it seriously, YOU know what you've been through. You don't need anyone agreeing with you for it to be true.
I haven't been married with an A but I got sick enough from my xabf. Some years after we broke up (some weeks ago, actually), I was talking to a friend on mine who invited us over when we were still together, Actually he kinda had her invite us over, he friended her on Facebook after meeting her once on my birthday, then kept in touch and somehow suggested the four of us get together (my friend&her husband, xabf & me). I had the worst time. Xabf brought a bottle of rum and practically emptied it on his own. He drank all of their beer. I'm sure he peed on the floor when he went to the toilet. He became loud and obnoxious and tried to pick a fight with my friends husband (luckily he didn't catch on). He didn't want to go when I suggested we leave.
It was extremely embarassing.
So anyway some weeks ago I finally got to talk to her about it (we lost touch afterwards for different reasons), I told her I was so ashamed and apologized for his behaviour. She wouldn't acknowledge he had been a douche! I tried to explain No, this wasn't just one drunk episode, he was like this all the time in the end. She just told me I shouldn't be so judgmental, and that there was nothing wrong with him.
It was so strange. She was supposed to be on my side, after all.
But what I'm getting at, people apparently are easily charmed by A's, even when they're drunk.
Try not to take it seriously, YOU know what you've been through. You don't need anyone agreeing with you for it to be true.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Whether he's a narcissist or simply has strong narcissistic behaviors, this is from my recovery notes on how to deal with a narcissist:
Do any of the following:
Show them they are wrong, publicly. Enjoy life fully. Be public about this.
Dismiss them, cut them off mid-sentence to talk to someone else.
Just stop listening, walk off when they’re talking.
Praise someone else, for something you know they’re great at.
A few of these done with keeping no contact 99% of the time has worked for me. Good luck!
Moving has been the quickest route to a sane mind, for me. That other 1% of dealing has also helped boost my self-confidence.
Do any of the following:
Show them they are wrong, publicly. Enjoy life fully. Be public about this.
Dismiss them, cut them off mid-sentence to talk to someone else.
Just stop listening, walk off when they’re talking.
Praise someone else, for something you know they’re great at.
A few of these done with keeping no contact 99% of the time has worked for me. Good luck!
Moving has been the quickest route to a sane mind, for me. That other 1% of dealing has also helped boost my self-confidence.
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