I feel like all I do is complain-I hate that
 

I know you aren't supposed to engage someone who is actively using. AH can become quite angry when confronted while intoxicated. I just can't keep my feelings to myself anymore. I have never been that type of person. I have the 3 Cs written on the mirror with one of those window markers. I leave articles about alcoholism all over the house. I post stuff about addiction on FB daily. When he can't remember something I told him because he was drinking, I tell him that's the reason he can't remember. He told me he has his drinking under control. I replied "if you have to control it, it's a problem"

He started eating Keto like I do, doesn't understand why he's not losing because vodka has no carbs. Yep but the body can't process fat if it has to process alcohol. And if you're on a high fat diet what do you think is happening to all the new fat you're consuming. HELLO!!??? Logic anyone?

He's super pissed at me because I told our PCP about his drinking and Doctor is extremely alarmed at the amount he drinks (DUH) and now he has to go in to have his liver checked.

I suppose this isn't smart, but I can't seem to stop myself from doing it. I know I need a counselor. I've called around and just waiting to have intake call me back so I can make an appt.

It's one thing to understand the 3 Cs, but it's quite another to accept them. It's a process, and you will get there.

Have you given any thought to a support group like al-anon or celebrate recovery?

I'm going to look up celebrate recovery. I have gone to a few alanon meetings but I haven't been able to get comfortable there. Probably because I'm still trying to control the situation.

lol....one shot (1.5 oz.) of 80 proof vodka is 96 calories......

I actually looked up what the flask he thinks he's hiding holds once and how many bottles of vodka he goes through a week and estimated he drinks an average of 35 drinks a week. (yes I realize this is insanely obsessive) and yea going over calories and the fact that drinking makes you crave carbs and sugar. So whatever this way of eating is working for me and healing my body too bad he won't let it do the same for him.

i think you are going to have to figure out how to get back into your own hula hoop. if you keep :pokey: at the drunken bear, things might not go well for you. and you have moved from a position of helpful to hurtful.

if you don't like how he is when he's drunk, you have choices, other than constantly tell him what a waste of space he is. NO ONE wants to hear that and NO ONE is helped by it.

i GET what it is like to have your skull damn near split with fury and frustration and - this ain't no saint talking here. but the constant berating is abusive.....to him. and it does nothing to fix, resolve or change the situation.

you could always consider ending the relationship......that would bring immediate peace of sorts to all parties.

I hear what you're saying and I honestly would never try to be abusive. I don't tell him he's worthless or a waste of space because I don't believe he is. He's a good person. He's just let his drinking drag him down the toilet. I'm certainly not mean about it. I'm more matter of fact. If I come home and he's drinking I take my kid and leave I can stay with my mom or his.