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Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,554
Boxy - You gave him every chance - you stayed long after most would have given up. You never have to feel that you abandoned or lost faith in him. He was so fortunate to be given a second chance at life (after the accident) and his marriage. He had it all - a good woman who loved & believed in him - a nice home - and he just couldn't maintain that wonderful life. It's impossible to understand how he could choose to go back to drinking - and you are so wise to be done with it.
Praying for your new life to be filled with hope and joy.
Praying for your new life to be filled with hope and joy.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Hevyn, He got a lot of chances. I wipoed his slate clean every time but as time passed by, 3+ years after the accident (were heading into year 5 post accident), it is getting harder n harder to wipe the slate. I've become angrier that were still dealing with this crap and getting nowhere. It's like square one minus 10 steps every damn time n it makes me mad! I've got zerto tolerance for his crap! I don't believe anything he says!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mmmmmm
Posts: 3,178
Hugs to you Boxy! I am glad to hear you are finding kind people around you as you make this big change for yourself.
Keep making the most peaceful decision and things will settle down more and more each day.
Keep making the most peaceful decision and things will settle down more and more each day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Im here at prison working doubles to pad my bank roll and he's still getting drunk and not going to work. We just got paid yesterday n he made another trip to the *Hardware Store*.
I need him to sign me off of the health insurance plan so I can pick up my own. I can't count on him to pay it if he runs out of time n he's very close.
I need him to sign me off of the health insurance plan so I can pick up my own. I can't count on him to pay it if he runs out of time n he's very close.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
Im tired. Im so worn out and exhausted from this, I don't even think I've fully processed and gotten over the accident 5 years ago. I have felt stuck in limbo of his drinking for so long and have patiently waited for him to get his life together like he said he would but he never has. It just seems like things get better, I breathe a sigh of relieve, only to gasp n say, "Here we go again"... but not this time. I've watched this ritual play out so many times for so many years n it always leads back to... "Here we go again".
Well, Here I go. I don't have time to cry n pout. I don't have privacy right now. I dont have a bed. I sleep on a couch in a co workers home. I eat my food in a prison because I have no money for it right now or a pot to **** in. Im not allowed to call off, drink or do drugs to numb myself. I have to work every day and most days, I double out because I need the money or the time for my surgery and I'm using time so I can move on Monday.
I don't have time to lay around n rest. I get 4 hours of sleep a night on double days. On single days, I'm up at 6am. I wish I could just tell the world to go pound salt n check out but I can't. I guess it is what it is.
Well, Here I go. I don't have time to cry n pout. I don't have privacy right now. I dont have a bed. I sleep on a couch in a co workers home. I eat my food in a prison because I have no money for it right now or a pot to **** in. Im not allowed to call off, drink or do drugs to numb myself. I have to work every day and most days, I double out because I need the money or the time for my surgery and I'm using time so I can move on Monday.
I don't have time to lay around n rest. I get 4 hours of sleep a night on double days. On single days, I'm up at 6am. I wish I could just tell the world to go pound salt n check out but I can't. I guess it is what it is.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,699
Hang in there Rotz and stay the course. It'll get easier, because YOU are taking the steps to get there!
I used to think XABF helped me so much - gave me some support - what would I do without him?!
It took about 6 months for the dust to settle and for me to see that I was just lying to myself. He was really just in my way - and that my accomplishments were so much easier without him there.
This spot you are in is temporary - keep moving forward! And big hugs to you!
I used to think XABF helped me so much - gave me some support - what would I do without him?!
It took about 6 months for the dust to settle and for me to see that I was just lying to myself. He was really just in my way - and that my accomplishments were so much easier without him there.
This spot you are in is temporary - keep moving forward! And big hugs to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
He keeps texting me n telling me that I have a boyfriend, telling me how warm my pool is n how he bought new "swimming attire" and maybe I should ask my boyfriend to buy my a new pool. He was asking if I slept with him the first night I met him?! Saying that I woul d have nothing I do now if it weren't for him!
I do have to admit that I have a man in my life. He is amazing and he may not buy me a pool but he will protect me from harm. He has a great sense of determining whether someone is a bad person or not...
He came into my life not long ago. He's highly trained by a veteran who committed suicide at the end of May. He's also gun trained which means he will disarm an intruder. I watched this guy pick up a 4ft long 4×4 post and destroy the end of it. So yea... I have a boyfriend and his name is Kujo!
I do have to admit that I have a man in my life. He is amazing and he may not buy me a pool but he will protect me from harm. He has a great sense of determining whether someone is a bad person or not...
He came into my life not long ago. He's highly trained by a veteran who committed suicide at the end of May. He's also gun trained which means he will disarm an intruder. I watched this guy pick up a 4ft long 4×4 post and destroy the end of it. So yea... I have a boyfriend and his name is Kujo!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
I need to block him n just get on with it. He sent me a text today that read something along the lines of...
Him: My mouth hurts. You should put your tongue in it and rub it for me.
Him: What?! Nothing to say?!
He's definitely trying to make me miserable. He's not going to win this in the end. He's going to die alone. Then, he will meet our Maker and have to answer to the Lord God Almighty.
Him: My mouth hurts. You should put your tongue in it and rub it for me.
Him: What?! Nothing to say?!
He's definitely trying to make me miserable. He's not going to win this in the end. He's going to die alone. Then, he will meet our Maker and have to answer to the Lord God Almighty.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 2,728
He is wonderful! I don't usually like to take on unknown, older dogs but I took a chance oin him and his back ground. He was highly trained by a war veteran who committed suicide at the end of May with the dog by his side. This young man trained him very well. He knows his right paw from his left. Sit, stay, down, speak, and you can lay food across his nose n he will not get it until you tell him to. He's also gun trained so that if anyone would break in with a gun, he would disarm them. I just saw what he did to a 4×4 post and I can tell you that he would rip someone's arm right out off their shoulder.
He loves children and animals. I've seen this with my own 2 eyes as I was worried about my 5 year old granddaughter and the 2 cats we had at the other house. He's like a 120lb puppy! LOL Kujo and I did not see eye to eye at first but we are under a mutual understanding that I feed you and you don't bite the hand that feeds you. He does NOT like a bath but he loves water! I had to go buy him a muzzle. LOL He groaned the whole time. He's finally started to kiss me too.
He is the MAN of this house. He is my man too. You want a piece of me... you gotta go through him first!
He loves children and animals. I've seen this with my own 2 eyes as I was worried about my 5 year old granddaughter and the 2 cats we had at the other house. He's like a 120lb puppy! LOL Kujo and I did not see eye to eye at first but we are under a mutual understanding that I feed you and you don't bite the hand that feeds you. He does NOT like a bath but he loves water! I had to go buy him a muzzle. LOL He groaned the whole time. He's finally started to kiss me too.
He is the MAN of this house. He is my man too. You want a piece of me... you gotta go through him first!
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