CarryOn

Don’t listen to his words, look at his actions. Keep doing the next right thing for you. Feelings are not facts and they will pass. Keep breathing.

In one of my AlAnon daily readers, I had a bunch of the slogans written down, I had a list of quotes from here & others that I just found inspirational and I would repeat them to myself like a mantra to keep me moving. Putting those positive or helpful things in my head helped block out his negativity.

I remember very clearly that my XAH told me I was destroying both of our lives by divorcing him. I’m doing fine, he’s fine. No one has been destroyed...maybe emotionally at times but we’ve both survived. I am much better off now with a peaceful home & mind. Knowing the stories of people here and that they made it through helped.

I hope some of these help you too. You’re doing great.

imaj79

Thank you CarryOn. I am really trying to remind myself that he is not rational at the moment but it’s hard. He let me know this morning that he didn’t go to work again today. I didn’t respond, then he followed up with “yeah Know I’m a worthless piece of s***”. I don’t think he is that but geez, what do I say to that?

SparkleKitty

You don't have to say anything. Detachment will be your best friend throughout this journey. Sometimes you have to gauge whether he's cry out for help or for attention--and even then, he's a big boy and capable of actually asking for help if that is what he wants. In this case, it sounds like he's just trying to goad you into engaging--with BOTH of those texts.