dimplegoddess99

I have an older brother who just finished rehab. He was doing so well for about a month. He got his job back and he was the brother we haven't seen in so many years. He had no place to go after he rehab so my mom and sister bunked up together in their 2 bedroom apartment so he could have the other one. He was doing well for a few weeks but he's now drinking again. He went to see our dad last night and tried fighting him. We are a very close family and want to help him but we don't know what to do. We are very heartbroken and devistated, we just want him better. We want our brother back!!!!!! What do we do to save him before he hurts himself or someone else? We just don't know what to do. Someone give us some words of encouragement or any answers to save him. We love him so much!

dava13

Dimple,

Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to "save" him. The only person who can help your brother IS your brother. There is nothing you can say or do to convince him of his addiction or to make him seek help. He has to admit to his addiction and WANT to seek help. Even after rehab, he has to want to stay sober.

What you CAN do is go to Al-Anon and talk to other people who have had similar experiences, read the literature and learn about what your brother's situation does and does not mean for the rest of your family.

From my own experience, both my mom and younger brother are alcoholics and the hardest thing for me (and probably for any of us) to do was let go and release my feelings of responsibility.

Take care of you first.

frustrated1

This is very hard to accept but there is nothing you can do! My daughter is actively drinking and there is nothing we can say or do to help her, this is so hard to admit. I can highly recommend al-anon or al-ateen. Once you start understanding the disease you can learn to start helping yourself. Hope all turns out OK

Osakis

Dimplegoddess, I thought for a moment I had written your post. My family is going through the same thing with my older brother. He was in rehab for a month, stayed sober for about that long after he got out, but is now drinking again. He has cut himself off from us (his family) -- we don't know if he's working, if he's eating, if he's even alive. It hurts so much. Like you, we have been searching for some way to help, something we can do to save him from himself. But we've come to the conclusion that everyone here does ... he's the only person who can take control of his life and get better, if he wants to. It's not the answer we wanted, but it's the only one there is.

Anyway, my thoughts are with you and your family. I know what you're going through.