Blogs


Notices

indecision--reunite with bingeing husband?

Old 05-23-2018, 07:20 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Member
 
SparkleKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,145
Originally Posted by akrasia View Post
I am so unbelievably lonely I can't bear it. I honestly don't know how to go on.
Honestly, the greatest gift I ever gave myself in recovery was learning to sit with the discomfort of loneliness long enough to learn that being alone is not the same as being lonely.

ONLY alone could I learn what I really wanted from a partner, and find the strength of self to reject the unacceptable.

ONLY alone could I learn to take care of my own needs and wants--and I grew to really like having things my way all the time!

ONLY alone could I learn that what Hollywood tells you "love" is is actually mostly unhealthy dependence on others for validation and acceptance--and that real love comes from inside us, for ourselves. Without that, we are just latching on to whoever pays attention to us.

ONLY alone could I learn that I really was good enough as-is--for me and everyone else and if anybody disagreed, well--that's their problem, not mine.

And it's ONLY because I made time in my life to do all that, to gain all that, that I was ready for a healthy relationship when the right person came along in my life. We've been married eight years this August, and I only have that because I took three years out of my life before we met to really focus on myself and my issues.
SparkleKitty is online now  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SparkleKitty For This Useful Post:
firebolt (05-23-2018), honeypig (05-24-2018), SmallButMighty (05-23-2018), trailmix (05-23-2018), TropicalWinter (05-23-2018)
Old 05-23-2018, 12:06 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
And at the same time the idea of going back makes me feel so peaceful.

Yes I remember that feeling the 4 times my now exah and I got back together. It wasn't peaceful I was feeling tho it was just relief I didn't have to face up to the cold hard facts just yet. We were also married a long time..20 years and the thought of being alone and having to work on myself was terrifying. However my exah drinking got worse and worse and we did eventually divorce. I stayed single and still am and I got through the loneliness and feeling like my life was over. It was hard and painful but you can do it too if you choose too.
Ladybird579 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ladybird579 For This Useful Post:
honeypig (05-24-2018), hopeful4 (05-23-2018), trailmix (05-23-2018)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:44 PM.