How do you trust anyone again?
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
faith says,"i believe what you SAY."
trust says," your actions have me believe what you SAID."
trust says," your actions have me believe what you SAID."
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,545
If I were to see a lot of red flags in a new relationship, I would not think, "Am I paranoid?" I would think, "Have *I* fallen into a pattern of behavior that attracts nutjobs, or am I trying to rationalize unusual behavior?
I had to be okay with being alone before I started dating again. My mindset was, I may never meet someone. Never. Deal with THAT, make a life, and if someone comes along who is worthy of my time and effort, fine. My case was a little different, because being a woman in my fifties, there weren't a lot of single, sane men who would be considered peers.
There is something to be said for moving slowly in a relationship. My new guy was not flashy. He didn't proclaim love right away. He had a life and activities that were meaningful to him. He didn't dump them to love-bomb me, nor exclude me from joining him, if I wanted. It was nine months before he *said* I love you. The respect, concern, and caring were obvious all along.
I had to be okay with being alone before I started dating again. My mindset was, I may never meet someone. Never. Deal with THAT, make a life, and if someone comes along who is worthy of my time and effort, fine. My case was a little different, because being a woman in my fifties, there weren't a lot of single, sane men who would be considered peers.
There is something to be said for moving slowly in a relationship. My new guy was not flashy. He didn't proclaim love right away. He had a life and activities that were meaningful to him. He didn't dump them to love-bomb me, nor exclude me from joining him, if I wanted. It was nine months before he *said* I love you. The respect, concern, and caring were obvious all along.
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