Waiting for the other shoe to drop
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Vent away! We are proud of you as well! When you can start to see YOUR OWN reactions changing, you know you are well into making progress! Well done!
Addicts are professional victims. That is just my .02
Big hugs!
Addicts are professional victims. That is just my .02
Big hugs!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
Spahappy,
How awesome you are! Keep it up girl.
You didn’t react the way he expected. That is confusing to him. He’s still in alkie mode, so he’s going to throw a pity party about it. M
Not your problem. Certainly not your fault.
He’s definitely a dry drunk, sounds like he won’t be dry for long if he keeps out of recovery. I really hope he finds it. For all of your sakes. But you’re doing the right thing. You don’t deserve to be sucked back into alkie land.
How awesome you are! Keep it up girl.
You didn’t react the way he expected. That is confusing to him. He’s still in alkie mode, so he’s going to throw a pity party about it. M
Not your problem. Certainly not your fault.
He’s definitely a dry drunk, sounds like he won’t be dry for long if he keeps out of recovery. I really hope he finds it. For all of your sakes. But you’re doing the right thing. You don’t deserve to be sucked back into alkie land.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 28
Grassalley, thanks for your reply and sorry to hear about your situation. It does sound like we are in the same boat. We’ve already been through a few cycles of what you are describing. Commitments to not drink for a week, a month, 90 days (which he didn’t fulfill because he had a “boys trip” and couldn’t fathom skipping it or not drinking). Then commitments to stop for good which he has now failed to do twice. We even tried setting parameters on allowable drinking (no drinking and driving, not during the day, not while alone with the kids). This last one he managed for about a month and then I came home from work at 5 pm to find he drank a liter of whiskey that day. He is able to stop or moderate for a few weeks and then we are right back to where we were before.
He’s going to therapy twice a month but refuses to get any additional support even though he desperately needs it. It is so sad and frustrating. But you’re right, all we can do is detach and take care of ourselves. Thinking of you as well!
He’s going to therapy twice a month but refuses to get any additional support even though he desperately needs it. It is so sad and frustrating. But you’re right, all we can do is detach and take care of ourselves. Thinking of you as well!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by Spahappy 
He then starts saying that I don’t appreciate all of his efforts and how much better he is doing this time. And that his opinion doesn’t matter and he will just suppress his feelings again (which is one of the things he blames his drinking on). Poor me, poor me, I’m the victim. He storms out of the room as usual when he doesn’t like what he hears.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Originally Posted by Spahappy
Sasha, seriously. Since our conversation he has slept on the couch for the last 2 nights and will hardly acknowledge me. So much for suppressing his emotions!
I always appreciate the quiet, unless the dog and kid are chasing each other around the house, then that's fun stuff!
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