Child Visitation with an Alcoholic ***Update***
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: California
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Mango212 
I'd suggest putting the responsibility on the alcoholic. He can provide the proof of not drinking, of not having alcohol on the premises. A free counselor at a domestic abuse help center could be a great help in working through ideas on this.
That he's living with someone who drinks very often would probably be enough for me to withhold visits until something changes. If no proof of an alcohol-free environment is being provided, then no visits. YMMV. Is there a penalty for you doing this? As you keep notes, keep to the facts and not emotions. (((hugs)))
There isn't so much a right/wrong way of dealing with things as a learning curve. As I continue to stand up for myself and kid, with plenty of good support around me, my backbone is getting stronger.
That he's living with someone who drinks very often would probably be enough for me to withhold visits until something changes. If no proof of an alcohol-free environment is being provided, then no visits. YMMV. Is there a penalty for you doing this? As you keep notes, keep to the facts and not emotions. (((hugs)))
There isn't so much a right/wrong way of dealing with things as a learning curve. As I continue to stand up for myself and kid, with plenty of good support around me, my backbone is getting stronger.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Maybe try a search for "domestic abuse help" with your local area added. After I started to look for local centers, I started becoming aware of ads when I heard them on the radio. I also found connecting with local food banks to be a great source of support and info. They often have other connections within a community. The bigger I'm willing to make my support net, the stronger I become. The past two months I've received help from a food bank simply to have the experience of receiving help in my life. I could have "made it through" without going there, yet in receiving from others I've gained so much more than the small amounts of food I chose. When I'm able, I also give back through donations and volunteering time.
More suggestions about enforcing rules of the agreement:
- Keep other neutral parties involved. Don't shoulder all this on your own.
- Keep your intentions clear within yourself. Providing a safe environment for your kids.
- Have fun with life.
The more fun I have, the quicker things tend to work themselves out. It's very counter-intuitive and I see this work time and again!
When we've had so much focus on the alcohol and chaos, it's really good to have new, fresh fun things in our lives to enjoy and fill the wake!
More suggestions about enforcing rules of the agreement:
- Keep other neutral parties involved. Don't shoulder all this on your own.
- Keep your intentions clear within yourself. Providing a safe environment for your kids.
- Have fun with life.
The more fun I have, the quicker things tend to work themselves out. It's very counter-intuitive and I see this work time and again!
When we've had so much focus on the alcohol and chaos, it's really good to have new, fresh fun things in our lives to enjoy and fill the wake!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: California
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Mango212
Maybe try a search for "domestic abuse help" with your local area added. After I started to look for local centers, I started becoming aware of ads when I heard them on the radio. I also found connecting with local food banks to be a great source of support and info. They often have other connections within a community. The bigger I'm willing to make my support net, the stronger I become. The past two months I've received help from a food bank simply to have the experience of receiving help in my life. I could have "made it through" without going there, yet in receiving from others I've gained so much more than the small amounts of food I chose. When I'm able, I also give back through donations and volunteering time.
More suggestions about enforcing rules of the agreement:
- Keep other neutral parties involved. Don't shoulder all this on your own.
- Keep your intentions clear within yourself. Providing a safe environment for your kids.
- Have fun with life.
The more fun I have, the quicker things tend to work themselves out. It's very counter-intuitive and I see this work time and again!
When we've had so much focus on the alcohol and chaos, it's really good to have new, fresh fun things in our lives to enjoy and fill the wake!
More suggestions about enforcing rules of the agreement:
- Keep other neutral parties involved. Don't shoulder all this on your own.
- Keep your intentions clear within yourself. Providing a safe environment for your kids.
- Have fun with life.
The more fun I have, the quicker things tend to work themselves out. It's very counter-intuitive and I see this work time and again!
When we've had so much focus on the alcohol and chaos, it's really good to have new, fresh fun things in our lives to enjoy and fill the wake!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: California
Posts: 467
Originally Posted by Lunchbox1
How do you legally enforce this? Does there have to be a DUI or something first?
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Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 116
How do you enforce
How do you enforce the no drinking 12 hours before visits or during visits
Originally Posted by mamabear26
Hi Lunchbox1, legally enforce which one? I'm not sure which stipulation you are referring to?
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