Mango212

I'm finding self confidence and body image tied up in many deep ways. As I've wanted greater fitness in my life, God has brought me to walking through health issues in new ways. The stress I held onto so tightly for so long didn't need to be trapped inside tight, firm muscles.

I've instead gained weight, and have no shame in it. I've learned to fully enjoy all foods by intuition instead of judgement. At times that including eating in great abundance, beyond being comfortable or full. At times it's included mini-fasts and even a few longer ones. I'm trusting prayer, my Higher Power and my intuition in new ways. I no longer buy into "knowing" what is "right" for my mind, body and spirit. I trust I'll be guided by God and the universe. Great amounts of psychological and physical pain are being worked out. I'm carried through this process again and again as it continues to release deeper crap as it asks for recognition.

When I'm exhausted, tired and weak, I rest. Gaining weight, eating foods that my body reacts to in non-positive ways, and allowing more rest has somehow counter-intuitively walked me through all fear of those foods. I'm healthier now than with poking, prodding and hospital lab tests that have no indicative results for many years. I'm at peace inside me.

Results:

Anxiety releasing from my body. Melting away. Not returning.

Much more confidence in my steps, movements and actions.

Being self-aware of how good I feel as I check in with my own thoughts.

Finding greater movement and mobility even when I was in great pain. I no longer fear or judge pain.

Now, finally () losing fat, gaining muscle tone. It seems that great self-love needed to come first for me.

No one way. No one path.

Mango212

The concept that I'm not a "before" or "after" photo is fun to embrace. I'm also not a "work in progress". I am "me". In this moment. In this day. I get to enjoy myself as I am.

This article: How to fake before and after fitness photos helps in seeing the flawed psychology of setting a set-in-stone goal for myself. Goals, hopes and dreams are fabulous. I'm creating a wonderful new life for myself by envisioning it added together with enjoying this current day I'm in without self-judgement.

The absolute best thing I love about this article is a new fun, playful look at taking these photos. Start with priming up for the "after" shot. Keep clothing, lighting and poses in mind to bring out the best in any physique. Then strip things down a notch. Several notches. Eat comfort food, relax the muscles, change up the lighting, pose and expression.

I am NOT simply a before or after photo. I am a person of many complexities undergoing changes in body and mind every day I'm alive. Embracing the "now" moment and accepting me as a whole package is transforming my relationship with myself.

How do I have the life I want? I don't really know, yet more of it keeps coming to me as I'm letting go and letting God.

Seren

Good morning, Mango

TropicalWinter

Mango -

What you wrote resonates with me so much - I too am on a body peace journey, learning to be more intuitive and trusting my body.

There are several podcasts that are right up this alley, if you're interested. Some of my favorites are:

Food Psych with Christy Harrison
Fearless Rebelle Radio with Summer Innanen
Any podcast that has Isabel Foxen Duke as a guest - you can search her name. She's amazing!
Body Kindness with Rebecca Scritchfield
All Fired Up with Louise Adams - this podcast rips apart diet culture BS with science and evidence-based information
Love, Food with Julie Duffy Dillon

teatreeoil007

Way to go, Mango. No, we are not "before and after" pictures. We are not reduced to that. I am tired of the things the media feeds to people.

Mango212

bod·y im·age

The subjective picture or mental image of one's own body.


I'm creating a new relationship with my body image.

Praying. Enjoying life. Meditating. Listening to God's guidance, to my Inner Voice. Being a part of this world.

Letting my perceptions be transformed.

Yoga is a part of my playtime. Stretching out on the ground yesterday with kid, on green grass during a rainstorm.

Seren

I could do the post next to the "Y", but the others......

Mango212

As I heal, I find more yoga poses I'm able to do. As I find more yoga poses I'm able to do, the more I heal. Yin yang. Balance.

Accepting myself in this moment. Laying on my back, legs up against the wall, breathing in, breathing out, letting go of stress and anxieties. Opening my perceptions to new in my life. New movement, strength and harmony.

Seren, thank you for being here.

Mango212

Switching gears, finding balance. Being reminded I don't have to try so hard, that it's more in the allowing. In the letting go of "knowing" how this is supposed to go.

Embracing the adventures of this day and trusting my Higher Power.

For all the "revving up" and doing more physically, I open myself to allowing a new great balance into my life.

Living in an alcoholic household is inherently stressful, unstable and requires more grace and balance than I have within me. Allowing my Higher Power to guide these layers of healing .

There are so many times I have been on the verge of giving up. I'm not strong enough. I don't have to be. Thank you, God for carrying me through these times.

Mango212

Noticing I have more big fears I'm being walked through in this.

All the alcoholic vomit that shames me when I look good. Or the alcoholic's personal pride in how good I look, as if I'm an extension of him. The fear of men thinking I look good. So many memories to cut ties with and let these thoughts in my head be transformed.

What about the pure joy of me being able to enjoy a fit, healthy body and letting the beauty that's inside me being shown on the outside, too?

Now that I have no fear of gaining weight, how about an adventure in no fear of being very kick-ass fit?

Mango212

The words "body peace journey" have come back to me and keep resonating within me.

My body has supported me through great joys and great trauma. The trauma is being released, in layers, through many therapies including music, drumming, dance and time in nature.

Now changing direction towards truly embracing the joys of this life. Setting new intents and opening my heart.

Mango212

Digging deeper into body image issues. Allowing, acknowledging and appreciating my body with a new kindness and gentleness.

I took a nap today. Simply went to sleep in a peaceful state of mind and woke to a new confidence and relaxation in my body. Big changes internally from seemingly small things.

So glad to have this body, this life, this healing.