Staying silent

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04-13-2018, 09:10 AM

# 21 (permalink)

Ladybird579

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Join Date: Mar 2016

Posts: 994

Quote:

Originally Posted by hearthealth

I don't love, respect or trust him. Right now I am financially stuck to him. I have to work on the finances before changes can be made. I have to increase my hours and decrease the expenses.

Keep posting HH. Things will work out..but don't isolate yourself anymore than you already have. We are all here for you with no judgement. xx

04-14-2018, 06:59 AM

# 22 (permalink)

Clover71

Member

Join Date: Oct 2017

Posts: 497

Quote:

Originally Posted by hearthealth

I don't love, respect or trust him. Right now I am financially stuck to him. I have to work on the finances before changes can be made. I have to increase my hours and decrease the expenses.

I understand the financial burden all too well, but it sounds like you have some plans! Sometimes those things may only seem like baby steps but in reality they are Much bigger than we realize at the time (or from an outsiders perspective)

I agree with LB - isolation is truly awful. Please take her advice

04-15-2018, 08:37 AM

# 23 (permalink)

hearthealth

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2016

Posts: 1,144

I haven't spoke to him this weekend except to be civil. I'm spending the time with my children and family. Trying not to interact. It's so hard to think this is his acceptable relationship. I can't imagine saying, "I do" if I knew this would have been my married life.

04-15-2018, 09:39 AM

# 24 (permalink)

Ladysadie

Member

Join Date: Jan 2018

Posts: 604

Sure does take a lot of guts hanging in there when you get the "silent treatment". I hope for your sake you can exit this misery soon and really start enjoying who you are. Some relationships start with so much promise, only to find out it had been a mistake. If you are miserable, you know he probably is as well. The sooner you can get out the better for you both. Don't let this diminish your life light.

04-15-2018, 12:19 PM

# 25 (permalink)

Sailorgirl57

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Join Date: Jan 2018

Location: Oregon Coast

Posts: 168

Quote:

Originally Posted by FireSprite

HH - if you could have anything in the world that you wanted without regard to your husband or job or kids, what would it be?

Maybe changing your focus away from the things that are "lacking" & coming up with personal goals & dreams can help motivate the change you desire? Get WILD - the sky is the limit in defining your wants & dreams. (although, admittedly, this was very difficult for me in early recovery & is still a challenge sometimes)

Look - we have ALL made missteps that have kept us looping around the same cycles in our journeys so don't get down on yourself for being human....

I think working on your self-talk & self-esteem is a critical first step & I think a lot of your discomfort is coming from the fact that you ARE working on this & realizing YOU DESERVE BETTER.

. FireSprite I just have to say how much I love all your posts. If you lived here I would take you out for a latte and we’d be friends! ❤️

04-15-2018, 12:20 PM

# 26 (permalink)

Sailorgirl57

Member

Join Date: Jan 2018

Location: Oregon Coast

Posts: 168

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeypig

I looked up the book FS recommended, and here is the link to the PDF for anyone interested: https://archonmatrix.com/wp-content/...ant-Yasser.pdf

Thanks, FireSprite!

. Just read that article as part of my morning coffee ritual. So helpful I loved it!!!

04-18-2018, 09:16 AM

# 27 (permalink)

hearthealth

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Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2016

Posts: 1,144

I asked my boss if I can work more hours. He's checking with the administrator. I don't want to but I see I have to.

H keeps asking me if I'm sick. I'm not, I just don't want to engage. There's an in law party coming up that out don't plan to attend. I'll find something better to do.

I could go into a long rant but it would waste my time and energy. I'm staying focused on myself and the children.