Taking the Alcoholics Keys Away
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,628
Originally Posted by LovePeaceSushi 
Forget what I said about him not being a threat for physical violence. Yesterday when I had to take his keys away again, he strangled me and tried to hit me in the face, but missed and hit my arm. I at least got the keys away, though. But yes, lesson learned. Alcoholics don't like it when you take their keys away. I'd still do it again in a heartbeat. I had to have his daddy come get him again. This time they can keep him! I couldn't figure out why my AH wanted his car keys so badly if his father was coming to get him....then before bed I went out to his car and discovered a half empty bottle of vodka in the floorboard. He was wanting to take that with him. 
Scary stuff there! Sorry that happened to you.
Please keep yourself safe from now on and don't allow him back until he's had treatment.
How are you doing?
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by firebolt
LPS - you have every right to have the police come get him. Strangulation is really, REALLY scary and physical violence escalates, and a protection order will help keep you safe. Big HUGS to you.
I should have called the cops and gotten a restraining order. I did not and gave him "one more chance" and it only escalated.
Another thing I did not do which I should have done is gotten myself checked. You can get some serious damage from being strangled even if you don't lose consciousness. I did not and was lucky but knowing what I know today, I would go get checked at the hospital and also file a police report.
Once they have put their hands on you, a boundary has been crossed and while things might be ok for a while, it will happen again and it will escalate. Don't believe him when he tells you how sorry he is and that it will never happen again. It will.
Stay safe and take good care of yourself please.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 276
Originally Posted by LovePeaceSushi
Forget what I said about him not being a threat for physical violence. Yesterday when I had to take his keys away again, he strangled me and tried to hit me in the face, but missed and hit my arm. I at least got the keys away, though. But yes, lesson learned. Alcoholics don't like it when you take their keys away. I'd still do it again in a heartbeat. I had to have his daddy come get him again. This time they can keep him! I couldn't figure out why my AH wanted his car keys so badly if his father was coming to get him....then before bed I went out to his car and discovered a half empty bottle of vodka in the floorboard. He was wanting to take that with him.
Terrible, the things to which we become accustomed! Honestly, blocking you from leaving the room is a warning and should be considered a precursor to violence.
He is an alcoholic. If you come between him and his alcohol he will justify any behavior, up to and including hurting you.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 235
Originally Posted by LovePeaceSushi
Have you ever taken your Alcoholic spouse's keys away?
Didn't do me much good. He'd drunkenly crashed his car leaving us with one car, mine. I used to sleep with my keys, purse and money in case I needed to make a run for it in the middle of the night and also to stop him from taking my keys and taking my cards and money from my purse.In my experience it was a stupid way to live. He just did what he wanted to do anyway regardless of all the stuff I did to "protect" me and our family.
Alcoholics will always do what they are going to do regardless of how much we might beg, whine, complain or cry. Regardless of whether or not we hide the keys and the money, they'll do what they want to do without considering the consequences.
I decided I did not want to live this way and so I ended it after 23 years and got myself and my kids a new, better, calm and peaceful life without any of the DRAMA! It's pretty good and I highly recommend it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
How are you LPS? I just saw what happened when you did take away his keys. I'm not sure if you've seen this particular sticky, but please do not try to minimize this as "he was in a blackout," or "wouldn't have put his hands on you if he was sober."
I lived with escalating dv for years. I thought it wasn't "real" abuse because I wasn't walking around with sunglasses on every day to hide black eyes or something. Please take this seriously. I needed safety plans, always had my purse/keys in reach, go bags in the car. It was an insane way to live. My ex really didn't care what he put anyone else through as long as he could keep drinking.
Please stay safe and let us know how you're doing.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...en-choked.html (For anyone who's ever been "choked")
I lived with escalating dv for years. I thought it wasn't "real" abuse because I wasn't walking around with sunglasses on every day to hide black eyes or something. Please take this seriously. I needed safety plans, always had my purse/keys in reach, go bags in the car. It was an insane way to live. My ex really didn't care what he put anyone else through as long as he could keep drinking.
Please stay safe and let us know how you're doing.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...en-choked.html (For anyone who's ever been "choked")
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 128
20 years ago, I called the police and warned them. My AH got pulled over once when he was sober. When he told me about it, I told him what I had done. He was angry, but as far as I know didn't drive drunk again. Taking keys would be too much effort, a little dangerous and not good for my sanity at all in my case.
I'm glad I did it.
I'm glad I did it.
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