Boundaries

Old 04-06-2018, 06:17 AM
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Boundaries

I work on maintaining my boundaries in my relationship with an alcoholic. It is also important for me to put up some boundaries for my thoughts.

Just for today I will not allow my thoughts to tell me I'm a problem to solve. I will not let my thoughts tell me that my AH is a problem for me to solve. I won't let my thoughts call me names, tell me what I should be doing, or spoil my day. I will not let my thoughts get carried away with guilt, problem solving, or making up excuses for why I need to stop a recreational activity I have chosen. I won't tell myself I'm too busy to neglect taking care of my body. I won't let that voice tell me I am inadequate because I didn't lift weights for a month. I will not allow my brain to ruminate about what could go wrong and forget every event and situation that has gone very well recently. Boundaries.
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Old 04-06-2018, 06:25 AM
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This is awesome. I had a big Moment when I realized that I could pray about every thought. Set boundaries in between thoughts. Stop negativity before it went further.

On the alcoholism side we call it an addictive voice. In some religions they call it the devil. In AA they call it self or self-will or the committee in our head. In psychology I'm sure there is some identifier for that ego voice. Or maybe "ego" is the identifier.

It is the enemy. It's that undercurrent of doubt and fear, and it's pretty persistent once I start listening to it. So I don't.

I am in control of my thoughts. They may try to take me down that road, but I can take myself in another direction.

Thanks for this today.

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Old 04-06-2018, 06:35 AM
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Prayer is something I desperately need to embrace as my friend in all of this. And Dr. Seuss. I actually have canvasses and paint and now I have a quote to paint on it!

Edited to add:
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!
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Old 04-06-2018, 08:37 AM
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LOVE this post!

I also focus on replacing the bad thought with a good one to help that brain entrainment/recalibration/reprogramming to move along. Self hypnosis, really.

And I love the Dr. Suess Game too, although one of my favorite quotes came from an interview - not one of his books:


“Nonsense wakes up the brain cells. And it helps develop a sense of humor, which is awfully important in this day and age. Humor has a tremendous place in this sordid world. It's more than just a matter of laughing. If you can see things out of whack, then you can see how things can be in whack.”

― Dr. Seuss
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:08 AM
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I have been going through a very stressful situation at work (layoffs, lots of management changes, lots of procedural changes). My anxiety has been through the roof with worry and fretting for about two weeks now.

I wanted to share this because I feel it "fits" here.

I received this email (I subscribe to it) two days ago. I usually read the daily devotional and then delete it but this one I kept and I have read it several times a day since.

It is religious based but if that isn't your cup 'o tea, just switch it to you "higher power"

How Not to Fear Bad News
April 4
He will not fear evil tidings; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
-Psalm 112:7

The Psalmist was not afraid of bad news because his heart was “fixed.” Bad news in the electronic media age is like the sudden storm at sea. Billowy clouds dressing the morning in lacy loveliness suddenly become heavy shrouds cloaking the sky in gray death. Gentle breezes shift into howling wraiths. Seas calm as a swan’s back mutate into the serrated jags of a dinosaur’s spine.

If you trust in the Lord the storm won’t capsize you. “Steadfast” means to be upright. God is like the great rocks off the California and Oregon coasts. The waves bash against them, but they are unmoved. When you trust in God, you are anchoring yourself to His stability. In fact, in the Hebrew original language, the word for “trust” means to scamper to God for refuge. When the tides of bad news crash in, run to the Rock!

TODAY’S HEART FOCUS
Confess to your Heavenly Father the anxieties of your heart, the things you dread. Willingly turn over these things to His loving heart and capable care.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:30 AM
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What a wonderful boundary! I would love to know how you stop the ruminating thoughts. I've had these for many years. I've tried many things. I'm not a victim of myself, I'm a volunteer. I'm tired of it. What works for you?
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Old 04-06-2018, 09:35 PM
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When I try to battle negative thoughts I talk back to them with positive self talk, and yes I do it out loud because I seem to hear it better, and I have also been known to sing the positives to myself in a dorky opera voice! Try it! The negativity seems to lose its power somehow.
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Old 04-06-2018, 11:56 PM
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Ill feel like a fool singing in a dorky opera voice. Ok, Ill try it tomorrow. When I'm all ALONE though lol Thanks!
Originally Posted by Sailorgirl57 View Post
When I try to battle negative thoughts I talk back to them with positive self talk, and yes I do it out loud because I seem to hear it better, and I have also been known to sing the positives to myself in a dorky opera voice! Try it! The negativity seems to lose its power somehow.
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Old 04-07-2018, 06:11 AM
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A year ago I deliberately put aside 20 minutes a day to do a guided meditation and I did a slow walking meditation with my dogs when I could (if I was alone). It made me stronger in my ability to control or ignore that voice in my head.

Actually, now that I think about it, it was like I was exercising a muscle that will get stronger and stronger. I haven't done much more than a three minute breathing space and mindful walking in a year. I need to start again.

I love the book "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer. He says we have this crazy inner roommate who constantly say things, and repeats things that are unhelpful. If the voice was a real roommate we would at least not give them the attention we do, and most of us would kick them out!

I like the suggestion of telling it off. Makes sense.
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