My Partner with 2.5 years of sobriety broke up with out of the blue
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by trailmix 
Her presence as she is now or how she used to be? She is who she is right now. Cold, self centered, erratic.
She is not who she was, for whatever reason. Was that so perfect after the first few weeks?
She isolated (for whatever reason). She made plans with you for your birthday just before leaving, she insisted on planning a trip to Mexico for your anniversary just before leaving. She wanted to meet up with you to reconnect then said she couldn't see you anymore.
She honestly doesn't sound like a very nice person, what exactly is it you see in her or are yearning for?
Have you made a list of all the negatives about the relationship? It's easy to slip in to remembering all the good stuff and putting aside all the really negative stuff that might have occurred. When you have that list you can refer to it anytime you feel yourself slipping in to idealizing.
She is not who she was, for whatever reason. Was that so perfect after the first few weeks?
She isolated (for whatever reason). She made plans with you for your birthday just before leaving, she insisted on planning a trip to Mexico for your anniversary just before leaving. She wanted to meet up with you to reconnect then said she couldn't see you anymore.
She honestly doesn't sound like a very nice person, what exactly is it you see in her or are yearning for?
Have you made a list of all the negatives about the relationship? It's easy to slip in to remembering all the good stuff and putting aside all the really negative stuff that might have occurred. When you have that list you can refer to it anytime you feel yourself slipping in to idealizing.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Plants....you can out that fear aside....the one about not loving again like you loved her.....
I thought that, once, after my worst break up, ever. ..and, I was so wrong....
I met, the very best love of my life, after that...a person who was able to give me the k I nd of love that allowed us to flourish and grow, together....it was so much better than what I had experienced with the one that left me crushed....
I thought that, once, after my worst break up, ever. ..and, I was so wrong....
I met, the very best love of my life, after that...a person who was able to give me the k I nd of love that allowed us to flourish and grow, together....it was so much better than what I had experienced with the one that left me crushed....
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Join Date: Jan 2018
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PV I read this during the night, but what comes to mind is that your GF probably moved on to another relationship. While you are pining for her change of heart, I think your most healthy course of action would be to grieve and move on. You love her so wish her well, then start healing and getting on with your life. She sounds terribly fickle and even if you reconciled she is likely to stomp on your soul.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Ladysadie
PV I read this during the night, but what comes to mind is that your GF probably moved on to another relationship. While you are pining for her change of heart, I think your most healthy course of action would be to grieve and move on. You love her so wish her well, then start healing and getting on with your life. She sounds terribly fickle and even if you reconciled she is likely to stomp on your soul.
I think I’ve lost her to the disease of alcoholism and this makes me angry and resentful of the disease. Rensentful that she has this disease and resentful that my love wasn’t enough to keep her happy.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
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One program saying I use frequently: "let go or be dragged"
When a relationship ends we try to endlessly analyze the person. It doesn't help, just keeps us stuck in a miserable place. I suggest praying for the ability to accept what happened as a way of moving forward.
When a relationship ends we try to endlessly analyze the person. It doesn't help, just keeps us stuck in a miserable place. I suggest praying for the ability to accept what happened as a way of moving forward.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 50
I totally feel for you. I went through and going through, a lot of what you have experienced. My XAGF and I had everything planned to get married next weekend. I've known her since we were 11, we're both almost 40. It totally sucks to go though what we have to go through. I too thought I did everything I could to ease the problem for her.....and as the wedding date approaches, I too reflect on what I could have done...this time last year I was the happiest guy in the world....but you, know I've had to learn that I couldn't do anything more. Yeah, there are mutual friends that she's told a lot of nasty, untrue things about me. You know what? I don't care. Coach Lou Holtz once said "90% of people don't care about your problems, and the other 10% are just glad they don't have them." Real friends know what and who I am and what and who I am not. I told her last month before I severed all ties that I still loved her, think I will for the rest of my life, but sometimes when you really love someone and it's not good for you, you have to let them go. The people on here are family. Please continue to read the posts anytime you feel down. Take care of you and take things one day at a time.
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