my heart
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 1
my heart
Back story... my son is in recovery, almost 1 yr clean and sober. I went through alot with him.My fiance of 5 yrs is an alcoholic.He has a son that is 12, and I believe he has ODD. When he visits its a mess. Not only do I run a bussiness from my home, but i deal with my fiances drinking ( 6 beers and a bottle of vodka a nite) but his son as well. I dont know where or how to turn. My life is upside down, and i support it all almost alone. He always has what he needs ro drink, and never falls through with what he saids. He isnt a dad at all so it falls on me. He lies, has cheated, and ruins our date nites. He left me alone to hang out with a couple we just met and almost got into a bar fight. I dont know how to deal with any of it.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 604
Well for starters, it sounds like you are carrying far more of this relationship than is fair. Personally I wouldn't be calling this BF my "fiancé" because if he is cheating on you, not "manning up" and taking care of his son, or not sharing in the bills ... I wouldn't want to be marrying him and I'd be inclined to ask him to go. Relationships rarely improve once you get married so figure he is on his Best Behavior (not!)
The book, Co-dependent No More, by Melody Beattie is a fast read and has a wealth of knowledge. It will open your eyes about boundaries and such. I would find it offensive if my BF drank to the extent you report yours does.
Once you find your bearings in what an equitable healthy relationship looks like, you will start to feel your power. Right now it doesn't sound like you have any and that you are being used.
The book, Co-dependent No More, by Melody Beattie is a fast read and has a wealth of knowledge. It will open your eyes about boundaries and such. I would find it offensive if my BF drank to the extent you report yours does.
Once you find your bearings in what an equitable healthy relationship looks like, you will start to feel your power. Right now it doesn't sound like you have any and that you are being used.
Hi, mmhanse.
Welcome to SR.
You will find much support here.
Your relationship, as described in your post, does sound pretty lopsided.
I agree that marriage maynot be the best idea right now.
Then you will be REALLY stuck.
Welcome to SR.
You will find much support here.
Your relationship, as described in your post, does sound pretty lopsided.
I agree that marriage maynot be the best idea right now.
Then you will be REALLY stuck.
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