is there some way I can know if he's truly serious

"An individual with executive dysfunction may not be able to anticipate and plan for the future, making the associated decisions," explained Ester M. Nakamura-Palacios, associate professor and senior scientist at the Federal University of Espírito Santo in Brazil as well as corresponding author for the study. "They may be unable to solve problems, even simple ones, and have difficulties focusing their attention or concentrating on something. They may get stuck in one response or one thought, showing inflexible behavior or thinking, or be unable to change their response when facing a new situation demanding a new or different direction. Notably, they may have difficulties controlling their own behavior, losing the ability to inhibit inadequate or even injurious behaviors."

"For many people, but especially for those who investigate the brain and its functioning, the frontal lobes are those structures that represent best the nature of humanity," said J. Leon Morales-Quezada, a research associate in the Neuromodulation Laboratory at Harvard Medical School. "These lobes located in the front of the whole brain are the governors of our behavior and are responsible for the acts that separate the homo 'thinker' sapiens from the rest of the animal kingdom. The frontal lobes control and inhibit our primal impulses; this inhibition of such impulses prevents us from taking dangerous risks, or behaving in a deviant way, and facilitates our living as a community."

"An alcoholic who is a highly skilled professional, for example, an engineer or professor, may be perfectly able to perform regular duties such as temporal and spatial orientation, naming things, and calculations. However, this highly skilled person may be frontally impaired and unable to change or control their use of alcohol or drugs, even knowing that this behavior was and is harmful, or make important decisions in urgent situations. Imagine this highly skilled alcoholic subject driving on a road and a soccer ball unexpectedly crosses in front of his or her car, likely followed by a child. Most of us would bring together all faculties needed to evaluate the situation, the possible consequences, and quickly take action, even if you hurt yourself. What if someone is unable to execute these functions in a proper way?"

"Frontal impairment is a hallmark in alcoholism and also in other drug addictions," said Nakamura-Palacios, "yet many gaps still remain regarding our understanding of this disorder. The consequences of alcohol and drug use among youth are especially worrisome as they occur during a time when the prefrontal cortex is still maturing. Behavioral changes may not be seen when they are still young but they become more apparent in adult age, when they are required to take responsibilities for many aspects of their lives. Unfortunately, we are still making late diagnoses, especially for alcoholism, when these structural brain changes are already established."

"Perhaps this research will help relatives of those suffering from this condition to better understand some of the problems they see, especially how difficult is for an alcoholic to control his/her impulses towards alcohol or their behaviors affecting other people," said Morales-Quezada. "Alcohol represents physical damage to the brain and a direct attack on its functions; the chronic toxicity of alcohol leads to aberrant behaviors that perpetuate the entrapped cycle of an addiction."

Then after a third DUI last year he was legally unable to drink at all for several months, which also included jail time. That was the longest I'd ever seen him go without drinking.

I know you've heard this before but I need help, I need a therapist, I just can't drink ever again, if I have one sip of alcohol I just can't stop.

He's expressing that he needs and wants help and is ready to change.

I'm just so worn down by the cycle and the drama and chaos, its affected my life as well over the past three years and I'm working to get my own life back together, hence working so much, trying to focus on my own interests etc. There've been so many times I've been ready to walk away, but it hurts so goddamn much, I really care about this person and if there's even a small chance he can recover and truly wants to I want to be around to see it.

. its a disease... I feel he can recover but I don't think he understands what that'll take....

I'm just finding it so hard to focus on myself and my own needs while I'm so worried about him and his addiction. I have a job that I'm not doing and four horses to take care of. I feel I need help as much as he does; his drinking is causing me more suffering than it's causing him I'm afraid.