Starsabove32

Hey all!
I've split with my partner for many reasons, main one being he smoked and drank everyday whilst I am off it all from October. So I've had to move out. I'm temporarily living with a friend until June then I can either live on my own, which I would love due to no one else's rules. I've never lived alone or thought I could but now I feel I would benefit from it. But it is very very expensive. It'd mean little excess money to save.

I can live with another friend, who isn't reliable and could fall through at last minute.

Or I could move into my parents which would mean I'd have a bed and little space. All my things would have to go into storage with little access and i hate the thought of it. I can also see there being plenty of arguments. On the plus I could save money.

The reason I want to save money is to do a university course next year and pay off an existing overdraft.

I'm so overwhelmed!! It's so much to process. Do I look to short term happiness which could lead to long term and live on my own? Then worry about the degree later down the line. Do I sacrifice my happiness and live with others just so that I can have money for next year.

I cannot figure it out. I'm trying to keep sober, process a breakup, decide on my future and find somewhere to live all at once. I feel mentally drained by it all. I hate not having stability and yet I am blessed with options

biminiblue

What an exhilarating time for you!

Just pick one and go for it. Once the uncertainty is off your mind, things will fall into place.

My vote is always live alone. I've lived alone for most of my life and I love it.

Starsabove32

I am strongly considering it. But it would mean a year contract and little money to save for college. But I could take the risk and make myself happy and strong now and worry about University later. Defer for another year if needs be.

biminiblue

Sit down with a piece of paper and make two columns, "Pro," and "Con," for each option.

It will become clear.

TimeForMe

I heard someone say once, if you're not sure which decision to make, flip a coin. Because in the moment you flip it, you'll know what you really want to do.

Starsabove32

Thanks 😁 I made a list and I felt stronger about living alone. But saddened that it may mean giving up on uni next year. I already have a degree, but want another one in social work. Means long placements and no time to work for money. But where there's a will there's a way!!

The flipping of the coin is a good one. I'm definitely leaning towards own space.

Blueskies18

Can you make a compromise, like living alone and going to Uni part time. I got my degree very slowly and one course at a time, but even though it was so slow, I had more optimism because I was moving forward towards more independence.
I'm curious, what will your second degree be?

Blueskies18

Can you make a compromise, like living alone and going to Uni part time. I got my degree very slowly and one course at a time, but even though it was so slow, I had more optimism because I was moving forward towards more independence.
I'm curious, what will your second degree be?

Starsabove32

I don't think they have the part time course here anymore. One in Psychology already, and the next one hopefully will be Social Work.

I think my best plan is to live alone come July. (My friend said I can stay until then). If I can't find anywhere I have my parents as a safety net. And I'll have to worry about the Degree later on. It's not until September 2019

Learning14

If you choose to live alone (I vote for that), can you get a part time job on top of your full time one? That way you get the benefit of living alone, paying your bills and saving up for college.

Starsabove32

I could technically but I already work 40 hours, and enjoy my free time. I can always pick up a shift here and there though extra for some more money. But I strongly believe in having off time for head space

Starsabove32

I've worked out that I could save for it. I earn enough and I spend a lot less now there's no booze, cigs or hangover food🤣😂

Sailorgirl57

I love living alone. Peace. Freedom. Contentment.

FeelingGreat

Hey Stars, if you've decided on the living alone option, think about investigating living frugally. I know it sounds awful but actually it's constructive because you're saving for something that is important to you, not frittering away on little things.

I did it when unemployed for 2 years and became ingenious at finding ways not to spend while not really impacting my lifestyle too much. Lots of info out there about where to start.

FeelingGreat

Double post