SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Hi all,
I just realized recently that although there is much more good than bad in my world these days, I miss connecting with people who "get" the whole family and friends of A's thing...

So, I'm here, just checking in, reading a bit, and wanted to say hi to all and update those who remember me, about things with the girls and I.

DD's are 10 and 12 now, both rarely if ever see their dad, mostly that is his choice since he shows erratically for his scheduled time and it's a gamble as to whether he is sober. I still get the blame for all that ails him quack quack quack...

DD 12 has dealt with some mean girl bs as all middle school kids do this year and the way she's handled herself and how eloquent she's been about what she will and will not tolerate and calling nasty b*tchy girls out on their "apologies" but actions that don't match, has been awesome to see. If her dad taught her anything, it's how to see a snake for what it is and call it out :) She's a sweetheart, a gentle soul, beautiful in and out and a star runner at her school- so much good going on for her....

DD10 is a feisty pistol and tells her dad and anyone else who crosses her the wrong way, just what she thinks- but does it with a grin and never ruffles too many feathers (and when she does, doesn't lose sleep over it). I wish I had half her self esteem and gumption! She's a soccer player and keeps us all in stiches with her pranks and jokes.

I have a job I love, colleagues I love, students who I love working with everyday... I love to get up and go to work each day and I love to come home each day to the peaceful space the girls and I have. Granted with DD 12 being a girl, 12, hormonal and well, 12, some days I want to pull my hair out with the attitude she gives but she's doing what she should at 12 so...

And I have been in a relationship for a while now with a man who I admittedly "tested" at first, to see if he was really as kind and patient as he seemed (bc I could not fathom he was). His daughter and my DD's are friends and he was friends with good friends of mine... We sort of got set up by one of these mutual friends and the rest is history. He's unapologetically himself, I am unapologetically myself, we have separate lives but enjoy being a part of each others worlds as often as we can be (which is most days). I don't even really have words-- it's healthy, loving, comfortable, scary still sometimes because I trust him and am open and vulnerable with him and that is sometimes scary.... I think the surest sign of love is the fact that I am totally happy to do things I don't really love, with him (camping, in a tent) and it becomes enjoyable because I so enjoy being with him. And he sleeps here the 4 nights a week he doesn't have his daughter with him and I am a restless and terrible sleeper and I know for a fact he does not sleep well here and he says he doesn't care and wants to be here anyway.... I thought he might get sick of that after awhile but it has been a long time and he's still here...

Anyway, my rambling aside, life is calm and good most of the time.

EXAH still harasses me, threatens, and causes drama when he can. My boyfriend is a lawyer and knows EXAH's smarmy evil lawyer and hates him as much as I do. Somehow that is a comfort to me.... lol. I would love if EXAH fell off a cliff one day but in the meantime, I try and not let his crazy phase me too much.

So, that's me in a nutshell.