Mandy05

Ugh, please help I don't know what to do. Me and the ex, as you know have been NC after the stunt he pulled by playing with my head. I blocked him completely. Well out of nowhere yesterday his grandmother texts me saying "Mark wanted me to relay this message. He wants to know if you are willing to talk to him?" I didn't reply. He started his "unknown" calls again. He then called my parents house phone (where I live at the moment) from the pay phones. Of course nobody answered.

Then, after that I received a text from his psycho brother "Keep mark out of your life entirely. Don't talk about him on Facebook, don't talk to him, and about him PERIOD. He's trying to better himself and everytime he takes one step forward he takes two steps back because of YOU and what YOU do to him. He wants to leave the halfway house because of you always talking about him badly. Leave him alone and move on."

I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT HIM ON SOCIAL MEDIA! It's all lies!!! This is literally the only place I talk about Mark. I don't even talk about him to close friends! Let alone Facebook. Mark is trying to start something up with lies and his brother believes it? I also don't know how his brother got my number but he's blocked too. I'm guessing Mark gave him my number because he's trying to start lying drama.

I think he wants me to report him to the halfway house so he can say to his family it's all my fault and be kicked out. Because he always LOVED gaslighting me to his family. And he's been saying since he was there that he doesn't want to be there at the halfway house and feels "stuck" there. I have been in NC with him and just being at peace with myself. I don't post about him on FB. I can't deal with this drama. I just want to be left alone. I guess I have to change my number because nobody respects boundaries.

The halfway house said to Mark he can't contact me and that's a warning. Should I press harrassment charges? Or report it to the halfway house? I don't know what to do. I was actually feeling bit of peace until this happened. Why can't he just leave me alone? And if he wants to leave that halfway house then that's on him. Not me, because I don't associate with him and blocked him. So, the brother needs to understand that and not put his bro's actions on me. He's the one calling me from unknown numbers and calling my house phone. I think that's very rude for his brother to say that to me. His family gets to involved and that's why I hate them. He always is right and everyone else is wrong. Makes me so f-ing sick how dramatic, trashy, and immature his family is! Should I go to the cops for harrassment? Or report it to the halfway house that he's lying about me to his brother and he's using the pay phones to get a hold of me when he's not suppose to? Or should I let it go and change my number? Should I not give him what he wants? Because if I report it, then he'll be kicked out, which is what he wants. I didn't respond to the brother btw. I didn't respond to any of his families crap. I'm just fed up because I'm being lied about and I'm being bothered when I'm not bothering him nor am I talking about him on FB.

Wamama48

Don't you wish you could just reach through the phone and smack some people upside the back of their head? You have your head in the right place at least. I'd not take their bait and get involved with reporting anything. Maybe just change your number.

Seren

Hi Mandy,

Geez, I'm sorry to hear about the ongoing addict drama! Some days it seems it never ends...

Probably what I would do is not engage with any of them at all and change my number. Simple, efficient, doesn't involve contacting them or his sober living facility at all.

Protect your peace!

S

Mandy05

YES! LOL! His brother is also an addict and in a three quarter house. If he was so "healthy" and followed his treatment, he wouldn't get involved with his brother's drama. I would imagine he'd be like "concentrate on yourself. Only you matter." The saddest part is this is out of nowhere and I'm being bullied for lies. I'm not talking about him! His family did this to me when we were together. Thus why I had to change my number multiple times. *Rolls eyes* I think my ex just wants to be out of there but not disappoint his family, and put the blame on me. He is not man enough to just leave on his own accord he has to bring me in his drama and have his family hate me more. He and his brother need to get a life and leave me alone! You're right. Because if I report him and he gets kicked out then that means he'll bother me more. Because he will most likely go back to his mother's house and she loves five minutes away from me. So that's the last thing I need. Ugh. I hate him and his family. Everything was actually becoming peaceful for me.

Mandy05

Hi Seren! Thank you. ❤️ Yeah this is insane because I have been just working and I applied for the phlebotomy program at my college and I'm waiting to see if I'm approved. I have been hanging with my best friend alot, so everything seemed more peaceful for me. I'm also working with a therapist. Then out of the blue I get these random calls and his psycho brother's text. You're right. Unfortunately I'm going to have to change my number. I'm angry his brother is even blaming me for the fact that he wants to leave the half way house. Do they forget who got him there? I was the one who pushed for him to continue treatment. They weren't. Also, his brother is an addict in a three quarters house didn't he learn anything? If he was so "healthy" and learned alot, then he would be rational and not get involved with what his brother is saying. He also wouldn't think it's "healthy". He's literally listening to him, and has no evidence. He's attacking me for no reason literally. The audacity that brother has is disgusting.

Ladybird579

Block his grandmother and the brother or change your number. Stay off facebook. No new drama then. My exah got his alcoholic brother onto me too. He got blocked. Peace at last.

ChloeRose63

Stay calm so you can see clearly and act rationally.
You can't get rattled and become off balance. This will only add to the drama.
Get some free legal advice from a law student or professor at your University. Know your rights when it come to harassment and possible harm. Be proactive and be strong if you really want it to stop. Enough is enough!

Ladybird579

Thus why I had to change my number multiple times.

I feel like you are a bit addicted to the drama. Sorry but that is how you are coming over.

OpheliaKatz

Hi Mandy, change your number and don't give it to anyone connected to him. If you have mutual friends, they need to know that your number should not go to anyone connected to him. I would also stop contacting any of your mutual friends that are not going to respect that... and you would know who they are. Unfortunately you might lose friends in the process, but anyone who is going to believe an addict over someone sober is really not great friendship material (they have issues you don't need to deal with).

Once you decide on no contact for real, you should only need to change your number once. If you are being harassed and you can't ignore it, you can always try to get a restraining order, but that's really a last resort; they don't give out restraining orders like candy, it's actually difficult to get one as you have to prove that they are potentially going to be a physical threat to you. I would just change my number and let them do them, don't bother calling the facility or anything like that.

This guy is your ex, his issues are not longer your concern, even if his brother contacts you. Change your number. Done and dusted.

AnvilheadII

just ignore them all. stay 100% silent. they'll get the picture eventually.

Mandy05

Thank you everyone for the support, but I already said they are blocked. I'm not addicted to drama. I didn't respond to them I'm just angry that he's making up lies about me. I'm not talking about him to anyone. I don't have anyone mutually friends with him. I literally rid everyone connected to him.

What I was asking was what to do? I didn't know if I should report it to the halfway house or try to get a restraining order? I wanted advice on that.

Because my ex isn't man enough to leave on his own because he has been saying from the getgo he didn't want to be in there he's trying to blame me somehow, so he can get kicked out. Then he can cry to his toxic family about how it was ALL my fault and NOT his. Yep! He's always innocent. His brother doesn't even know me that well, and I actually always felt bad for him because they treated him like "the step brother". I always talked to him and was nice to him. He's a druggie, and did crack and heroin, they always put him down, and I was always saying how good of a person he is and he can beat this addiction and to not listen to their insults. I even slept on the couch of his apartment with my ex because his friend died and he didn't want to be alone. Wow, so much for all of that and him to message me like that! He is in a three quarters house now, but he seems really aggressive towards me.

I don't know why he has so much beef with me, but that's the point? I have been peaceful. Not saying a word about Mark and just doing my thing. I was merely asking for advice. If I loved the drama I don't think I'd be upset about it and block him. But I'm not going to give my ex what he wants. If he wants to get kicked out of that halfway house then he has to do it on his own accord. I'm not gonna be the one. I just want to be left alone, but I guess the number change has to happen because it's ridiculous I'm being bothered over something I'm not even doing.

And I know that's why because he was already warned to not contact me and if they got another complaint about it, I assume they would just kick him out because he was warned. And his stupid ass family forget who was the one who brought him there. I'm so sick of their ungratefulness. Like just leave me the hell alone. They are such wackjobs! And he's a grown man, if he chooses to walk out that's not because of me. I have no contact with him so step brother needs to understand that. I don't know what Mark is telling him, but he's so stupid and immature to believe him and get involved.

atalose

Reporting him to the halfway house for what exactly – calling you? I can’t see them throwing him out based on you saying his family is calling you on his behalf in attempts to try and get himself kicked out. And as far as a restraining order, has he threatened you in any way?

I'm just angry that he's making up lies about me.

This is what addicts do. Why is it so important to you to defend yourself with all those toxic people anyway?

Sticks and stones, sticks and stones

Good that you blocked all of them from contacting you.

Clover71

You have no mutual friends and the entire family sounds like a toxic mess - who cares if they lie to each other? By reporting him you are keeping yourself involved in the toxic mess.

I hope you blocked the grandmother too

Mandy05

He was told to NOT use the pay phones when we were together and our calls had to be monitored by a therapist because he was being aggressive towards me for no reason. So, he could only call me in front of the therapist. He kept using the payphone behind their backs. I reported it because he played with my head and I didn't want him contacting me. They said they would warn him again to NOT use the pay phones. He is all of a sudden calling my house phone with the pay phone. He is breaking the rules again! He's supposed to be NC with me because they even blocked me from the facility because they said they don't want anything to ensue, but they told me to call if he tries to contact me again. They made that very clear. Also yes, he's involving family. There's suppose to be NC with me even with family by the therapist's standards.

I know he's toxic, but everything has been fine! I've been just at peace with myself actually. I'm just sickened that my peace is being disturbed unnecessarily. I don't talk about him or a anything yet I'm getting my peace disturbed over losers who are immature and can't just leave me alone. I hate his family so much, I never dealt with such a toxic family in my life! They literally get involved in everything! They shouldn't be involved in anything because it's all lies and it's just not mature! And it's all lies! His step brother is so stupid and obviouly didn't learn anything from being clean. He's still an immature ass.

Ladybird579

He is all of a sudden calling my house phone with the pay phone.

How do you know he did cos in the post above you said you never answered the phone.

If he is breaking the rules it is up to the halfway house to deal with it..not you telling them he is. Ignore him. Ignore his crappy family. It's his recovery, or not as the case may be. It's not worth the head space and time. You say everyone is blocked now so good for you on that score and yes I hope you blocked his grandmother too.

SmallButMighty

His recovery or lack there of is none of your business. Block. Ignore.

If he or his family threaten you, contact authorities. Simple.

Learning14

I had to block my AF from everything. You should do the same.

Mandy05

You all are right. I'm just really angry that everything was settling down for me and then I get hit with this unnecessary drama. I'm going to have to call my professors because I am starting the phlebotomy program, but my phone number is on file. I guess I'll have to tell them my new number because I'm still waiting to hear if I'll start in summer or fall. They said by the end of April I'll know for sure. I hope because of this drama it doesn't cost me a file up with my school.

I'm just so disgusted I wish i.neber met him and his psychotic family. My dad is getting angry because the home phone is his business line so he can't block unknown calls. He said he's going to just threaten him with charges if he keeps calling because my dad can't change his business line. He's just ruining everyone's life.

ChloeRose63

Your Dad should do everything legally possible to stop unwanted harassing calls. He has every right to protect his business and his daughter. Don't let anything ruin your dreams!!

Bekindalways

Sounds like you are fighting to keep the focus on your own problems. Good for you.

You might document what is going on just in case you need it in the future.

Keep the course!