Mandy05

Yeah exactly! My dad has a construction company and he's a successful plasterer. He has calls and my brother is his administrative assistant right now. I was but I needed over time and my dad can't do that. He's getting fed up and wants to f*** my ex up and his brother. Because he knows I'm just keeping to myself and he knows they are bothering me for no reason. I saw a whole new level with my dad lol.

But yeah my dad said if he calls he will warn him he will get charges pressed on him.

Mandy05

Thank you 💗 yeah I will document for sure! ❤️

Mandy05

Should I block his friend too? I forgot that I added this guy on Facebook when my ex was in rehab. We talked for a bit. He's at a different halfway house, but he said he had strong feelings for me, so I stop responding to his messages and just ignored him. Plus he wasn't on Facebook that much, so I figured whatever. I was with my ex at the time so I knew it'd be inappropriate to continue contact with his friend. I even showed messages to Mark what Anthony was saying and he even said "just ignore it." His friend said he needed support, so my messages to him were just about encouragement and him to fight his addiction. I was just a support system but he took it in a different way I guess. Then he started to get moody and weird with me because I rejected him, so I haven't messaged him at all. He has been kinda curt with me too.

I didn't know he saw my ex at meetings. He told me he doesn't have the lighthouse number and he doesn't speak to him, so that's why I kept him on my friends list. Plus he was barely on FB. However I got the "unknown" calls AGAIN! I'm guessing he used his friend's phone this time because Anthony (his friend) messaged me and said "hey I was in a meeting with Mark. Mark is trying to get ahold of you. He said it's an emergency. He needs to talk to you." I marked it "unread". Should I block him since he's now in contact with him? And he most likely let him use his phone to contact me?

Yet Anthony told me he could tell my ex is unhinged and he didn't really like my ex and he felt more comfortable with me. He said we should definitely stay away from each other, but the ahole let's him use his phone to contact me? I know he did because after he sent that message I had three missed calls in a row by "unknown" number. I am so angry. I don't know if I should block Anthony or not, but he seems to be switching gears but I also don't want to give my ex any satisfaction. So should I tell Anthony why I won't talk to him? Or just ignore it? Or ignore his message and block him? Need help on what to do that isn't the wrong thing to do.

He's so manipulative! He always says it's an "emergency" when it's just a way to get me on the phone to abuse me. I just wish he would leave me alone!

I applied for a grant and they emailed me today saying they are going to set up an intake soon to see if I can get a full scholarship for the phlebotomy program. I'm still have to wait on their decision. He's ruining everything!!!! I don't want to change my number cause I have stuff going on with school that I don't want messed up or filed up somehow, but his incessant calls and going through people is making me anxious and angry. I shouldn't have to change my number. I'm documenting everything though. He's messing with my life way too much! If I didn't have this stuff lined up for the program I'm suppose to be starting soon, I would have changed my number. This is all getting out of hand! What should I do with Anthony? Block him too? Idk why Anthony would encourage me when I did end it with Mark to stay away from him, and I was too good for him. I guess rejection made him turn to Mark? Wow. I feel like I'm in middle school. They all need to grow up!

SparkleKitty

Yes, block Anthony, too.

PuzzledHeart

Yes block him.

Honestly after your fourth sentence there was no need for further justification. As long as it makes YOUR life better, who cares what your ex thinks? If he gets a degree of satisfaction from that, who cares? You're in line for a scholarship and he's getting his jollies if you block a friend of his? You have better and bigger fish to fry.

You are still attaching YOUR feelings to HIS feelings.

When my ex-fiance ditched me before the wedding, I imagined five million scenarios where I would accidentally bump into him and I would be living a fabulous life and he would be living a life of misery. And I would feel joyful about it.

What DID happen, several years later. I bumped into him. He started talking. I started getting annoyed because I was running late. The predominant feeling: indifference.

You'll get there too the sooner you let go.

Lilro

Block, Delete, Forward

I blocked any and all persons that had any connection to my ex on my phone. Changed my social media name and blocked any and all connection to my ex on social media.
Sent any and all contacts from any and all connections directly to junk mail.
The only way anyone will be able to contact me is to actually knock on my front door ( and believe me, I will not answer ).
They will bore themselves out and move and to their next victim soon.....( Yes, that is the way you need to look at it, VICTIM ).
Where there is a will, there is a way.....
Good Luck!
Ro

Givenup2018

Change all numbers, social media accounts etc and brush them all out of your life. Let his family deal with his drama. NO CONTACT of any kind.
If they manage to contact you after that, apply for a restraining order.
Continue with Al anon and counselling and get on with your life, focus on yourself

Mandy05

Thank you everyone so much ❤️❤️❤️ I am so appreciative of all of you! Thank you. ❤️ I blocked his friend. I'm not changing my number until I hear from two people. One, who is in charge of granting me a scholarship. Two, to see if I go in the summer or fall. I called and asked them if I gave a new number if it would affect anything, and they said it possibly could because sometimes there are file ups and their systems don't save new emails/numbers, so I would have to re apply and I can't even do a whole new application because there was only so many for the program, and there is none available. I'm not taking that risk over some loser and his loser family bothering me. I can't let them destroy what possibly could be better for my future.

So until I hear from those two people, I will change my number. I'm just upset because I know things are just going to keep escalating. He won't quit and his family doesn't know how to be classy and stay out of stuff that isn't even true. Neither him or his family know boundaries. Ugh. So hear goes to mental anguish for another month. *Rolls eyes*

But I can't thank you all enough. Sorry I can't reply individually. I read everyone's response and I'll try to get to everyone individually, but I at least wanted to express my gratitude and appreciation for all of you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Bekindalways

It sounds like you are doing the right thing Mandy. And no need to reply to us all. We are here to support you in moving forward and giving less energy to the alcoholic drama.

Just keep blocking and documenting what is happening. Someday you may get to the point where someone connected with your ex manages to contact you about him and all you will do is delete/block and move on with out a thought just like it is a scam phone call.

Keep looking at yourself and figuring out what in yourself led you to get involved with a guy like this. We all have some reason that we wound up ensnared in the situation that brought us to Soberrecovery. Sigh . . . at least I sure did.

Big hug lady and take that next right step whatever it is!

Mandy05

Thank you sweetheart. ❤️ Yeah I was lead here because I was confused and thought maybe "these people might know more about addiction than I do." Even though he is sober and in a halfway house, he's still acting the same way he did when he was drunk. DRAMA! he apparently loves drama and won't give that up.

I fell in love with him three years ago because he was so loving and compassionate. He was a "gentleman" that's what he portrayed. I learned through therapy that he has Narcissist Personality Disorder, because everything I described to my therapist Sue said he has every classic sign. She even made me do a check mark list of someone who has it and he literally had ALL of the check marks. So I'm learning about that plus his addiction.

He totally manipulated me and this relationship entirely. I was getting turned off because I was kind to his family and actually loved them, but they all hated me and bullied me. I don't know why, but he never stood up to them. I remember when I was with my ex and it was mother's day, I bought his mother flowers because she loves flowers and plants. She threw away the flowers right in front of me! And She said "I hate flowers". In translation she was just saying she hates me. I like stormed out crying and my loser ex did NOTHING! told me to ignore it? It was so cruel and uncalled for. At least wait until I leave to do that lol, but she just wanted to tell me how much she hated me and I noticed the relationship started to go down hill when his brothers, dad, and mom, and sisters got way too involved in every argument we were in. It was like I was in a relationship with them too. Everything just back fired on me. He told me when he got sober after being with him for three years he's not in love with me. So I distanced myself and cut him out. He called me from a different phone said he wanted to start over, I was willing to grant him that, but then he said the call was a mistake and he didn't mean it. Then he insulted me got really mean, now I blocked him completely from everything and he's trying to go through his family and obviously gave his psychotic brother my phone number. He's trying to create drama and I'm not even doing anything. Just staying away and being peaceful. Thank you so much for your support.

tomsteve

I don't know why, but he never stood up to them.

narcissist-a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves;an extremely self-centered person;

make sense now?

Mandy05

Yes exactly! I'm sorry my Grammer isn't too proper on here. I meant I don't know why his family hated me. And I just included he never stood up for me. But I didn't mean I don't know why he didn't. I should've worded it better. But you are right.

tomsteve

its all good,mandy. i aint too good with the grammer thing either.
reading that reply again, i think you did convey that. i read it differently,though.

families of alcoholics can sometimes be just as sick, or sicker, than the alcoholic themselves.