Anyone diagnosed with Cumulative PTSD?
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Anyone diagnosed with Cumulative PTSD?
Per forum rules- I'm not asking for medical advice, just personal experiences..... I had a great first visit with my councelor! We talked at length and at the end of the session she said she thought I had Cumulative PTSD.
Honestly that sounds a little overboard to me. Yes he was an evening alcoholic for 18 years, loads of resentment, anger and hurt on my end.
My sister has PTSD. I've seen her episodes. I've talked to her while she's locked herself in a closet and she's talking to me and our mom (who died 4 years ago) Mine is nothing like that. She was in an abusive relationship, and a severe car accident. My RA never hit me, verbally abused me, put me down, blamed me for his stupidity etc.
I told my councelor to put off entering that into my chart right now. Once its in your medical record its near impossible to retract.
Have you had similar issues, and what were you diagnosed with? What type of treatment and self care helped you the most? The good news is my symptoms are very slowly getting better!
These are the things I told her.....
-Twice in 2 months, at home, I thought I smelled beer. I started shaking and crying. The kids didn't smell anything, and I'm fine stocking beer at work or smelling alcohol on other people.
-If I accidentally touch him, I have to rub that feeling off of my hand. Just for 30 seconds or up to 5 minutes.
-I panic if I'm in the car with him more than 15 min. I feel like I'm trapped, I have to run away.
- I have dreams of him, always involving beer, but nothing scary, just normal everyday things. I wake up with my eyes opening suddenly, and I'm completely awake.
-I can be in the same room with him now, even sit and talk civily for a while. At first he had to stay out of any room I was in. If I came into a room he was in, we had an understanding he would leave the room if I needed to be there. Like cooking dinner for example.
-He can't be within 5 feet of me or I shutter and feel panicky. I automatically tense up and move away.
-When he's within hearing distance I am always aware of him being around me, and where he's at.
Yes I realize these are not your everyday run of the mill things, but PTSD is a serious, big thing. I don't want another big thing. I want it all to go away. I will continue to see my councelor, and I'm hopeful there is an end to this if I work at it.
Honestly that sounds a little overboard to me. Yes he was an evening alcoholic for 18 years, loads of resentment, anger and hurt on my end.
My sister has PTSD. I've seen her episodes. I've talked to her while she's locked herself in a closet and she's talking to me and our mom (who died 4 years ago) Mine is nothing like that. She was in an abusive relationship, and a severe car accident. My RA never hit me, verbally abused me, put me down, blamed me for his stupidity etc.
I told my councelor to put off entering that into my chart right now. Once its in your medical record its near impossible to retract.
Have you had similar issues, and what were you diagnosed with? What type of treatment and self care helped you the most? The good news is my symptoms are very slowly getting better!
These are the things I told her.....
-Twice in 2 months, at home, I thought I smelled beer. I started shaking and crying. The kids didn't smell anything, and I'm fine stocking beer at work or smelling alcohol on other people.
-If I accidentally touch him, I have to rub that feeling off of my hand. Just for 30 seconds or up to 5 minutes.
-I panic if I'm in the car with him more than 15 min. I feel like I'm trapped, I have to run away.
- I have dreams of him, always involving beer, but nothing scary, just normal everyday things. I wake up with my eyes opening suddenly, and I'm completely awake.
-I can be in the same room with him now, even sit and talk civily for a while. At first he had to stay out of any room I was in. If I came into a room he was in, we had an understanding he would leave the room if I needed to be there. Like cooking dinner for example.
-He can't be within 5 feet of me or I shutter and feel panicky. I automatically tense up and move away.
-When he's within hearing distance I am always aware of him being around me, and where he's at.
Yes I realize these are not your everyday run of the mill things, but PTSD is a serious, big thing. I don't want another big thing. I want it all to go away. I will continue to see my councelor, and I'm hopeful there is an end to this if I work at it.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
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Well... I am diagnosed with PTSD, but it's not stopped me from moving forward and I dare say that my flash backs are not always a problem. I don't always have issues related to PTSD. The less I think about the things that have happened, the healthier I am. I did have to spend a lot of time unpacking my trauma before I could get to a point where I was thinking about it less.
I still have moments in the day where I feel terrible, and I like to give it a name: sinking moments. So sometimes I sink and I have to pull myself back up. I think that PTSD is manageable. I think your sister has quite a severe case of PTSD with dissociation. I hope she is seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
Of course, I'm not a doctor, so I can't say this is a fact, but I do think PTSD is manageable. I would compare it to having bunions. Some people have very bad bunions and walking hurts. Some people don't have a problem with walking, but wearing any sorts of shoes for too long hurts, and some people's bunions don't bother them unless they've been dancing at a disco for five hours in stilettos. I don't think my PTSD is a "serious", big thing. I mean, it's very inconvenient, and when I have flashbacks or anxiety attacks, it feels like a very big thing... but my health has improved over time.
It is possible to improve over time. Just always try to prioritize your self-care, because you can get triggered years down the road and end up back at square one (happened to me). I would try not to worry too much about what's wrong with you, but focus on what you can do to make your life right. Are you eating, exercising, and sleeping well? Are you working? Are you spending time with healthy people you love? These are the things you need in your life to be healthy regardless of if you have PTSD or not. Also, if you don't already have support from Alanon or a therapist, do get one. I found that the longer I was in my relationship, the more my body revolted against the situation and I now have chronic health issues to manage too... but my ability to manage my health is improving. Yours can too. (It has helped me a lot that I have NO CONTACT at all with my AH. I don't even know his number or where he is).
Maybe look at it this way: Life is cruel. You can get PTSD from a car accident, from getting treatments for cancer, from the death of a loved one, and obviously, from being in a relationship with an addict. Almost everyone has to manage the pain of loss eventually. I think this is why people love babies -- they remind us of what it was like to have lost nothing... yet. You sound like you have had a terrible time. I think your responses to what has happened are normal. I hope this reply helps. Maybe someone else has something more helpful to say?
I still have moments in the day where I feel terrible, and I like to give it a name: sinking moments. So sometimes I sink and I have to pull myself back up. I think that PTSD is manageable. I think your sister has quite a severe case of PTSD with dissociation. I hope she is seeing a psychiatrist regularly.
Of course, I'm not a doctor, so I can't say this is a fact, but I do think PTSD is manageable. I would compare it to having bunions. Some people have very bad bunions and walking hurts. Some people don't have a problem with walking, but wearing any sorts of shoes for too long hurts, and some people's bunions don't bother them unless they've been dancing at a disco for five hours in stilettos. I don't think my PTSD is a "serious", big thing. I mean, it's very inconvenient, and when I have flashbacks or anxiety attacks, it feels like a very big thing... but my health has improved over time.
It is possible to improve over time. Just always try to prioritize your self-care, because you can get triggered years down the road and end up back at square one (happened to me). I would try not to worry too much about what's wrong with you, but focus on what you can do to make your life right. Are you eating, exercising, and sleeping well? Are you working? Are you spending time with healthy people you love? These are the things you need in your life to be healthy regardless of if you have PTSD or not. Also, if you don't already have support from Alanon or a therapist, do get one. I found that the longer I was in my relationship, the more my body revolted against the situation and I now have chronic health issues to manage too... but my ability to manage my health is improving. Yours can too. (It has helped me a lot that I have NO CONTACT at all with my AH. I don't even know his number or where he is).
Maybe look at it this way: Life is cruel. You can get PTSD from a car accident, from getting treatments for cancer, from the death of a loved one, and obviously, from being in a relationship with an addict. Almost everyone has to manage the pain of loss eventually. I think this is why people love babies -- they remind us of what it was like to have lost nothing... yet. You sound like you have had a terrible time. I think your responses to what has happened are normal. I hope this reply helps. Maybe someone else has something more helpful to say?
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
I have PTSD but I don't think it was caused primarily by living with exah but he made it worse. Prior to him being around I had several major things happen in my life my body didn't respond well too and I found myself getting panic attacks and flash backs randomly. The waking up shaking started again when exah got worse after we had a house fire in which I had to get all my kids out and animals by myself cos he was too drunk to even move. My eldest son and I dragged him naked down the stairs and I got even worse after that. I just felt so alone....7 kids in a house at 4 am, plus 8 cats and a dog to get out into flood waters outside was my final straw. That night the emergency services number was engaged. The whole town was under water. Exah knew it was flooding, he knew we had electrical problems but he drank anyway. That was the night we split up in my head even tho it took me another few years to bring it about permanently.
What has helped? Getting exah out my life helped no end even tho he wasn't the primary cause. I never, ever felt safe with him. It was all one drama after another and me second guessing how I was supposed to feel and act around him. I feel safe and loved now cos it is in my hands not his. I refuse to dwell on the past. If I wake up with dark thoughts I get up and get busy. I live life in the now. I don't future trip on stuff that may never happen cos I've found even if things do they are never as bad as I anticipate. Don't under estimate what a terrible time you have had and are still having. Your husband is a selfish dry drunk now and prior to that he was a selfish drunk. Just cos he wasn't as bad as some does not mean your experience is or was any better. I found planning my exit helped. I was determined no one would ever make me feel trapped again..not myself or another human being.
You may need some medication to get you over the first few months and maybe some cbt. I never tho. I just pushed on until the times I felt bad gradually lessened. Maybe your therapist can give you some pointers to help you? You can live with it and overcome it but it will take life changes on your part and time. ((hugs)) xx
What has helped? Getting exah out my life helped no end even tho he wasn't the primary cause. I never, ever felt safe with him. It was all one drama after another and me second guessing how I was supposed to feel and act around him. I feel safe and loved now cos it is in my hands not his. I refuse to dwell on the past. If I wake up with dark thoughts I get up and get busy. I live life in the now. I don't future trip on stuff that may never happen cos I've found even if things do they are never as bad as I anticipate. Don't under estimate what a terrible time you have had and are still having. Your husband is a selfish dry drunk now and prior to that he was a selfish drunk. Just cos he wasn't as bad as some does not mean your experience is or was any better. I found planning my exit helped. I was determined no one would ever make me feel trapped again..not myself or another human being.
You may need some medication to get you over the first few months and maybe some cbt. I never tho. I just pushed on until the times I felt bad gradually lessened. Maybe your therapist can give you some pointers to help you? You can live with it and overcome it but it will take life changes on your part and time. ((hugs)) xx
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Location: Chicago
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So...is the idea that if it doesn't go in your record, you don't actually have it?
I think a lot of things are only as "big" as we allow them to be in our lives. And I think pretending something is not what it is only makes it bigger, not smaller.
I think a lot of things are only as "big" as we allow them to be in our lives. And I think pretending something is not what it is only makes it bigger, not smaller.
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 500
Well... I am diagnosed with PTSD, but it's not stopped me from moving forward and I dare say that my flash backs are not always a problem. I don't always have issues related to PTSD. The less I think about the things that have happened, the healthier I am. I did have to spend a lot of time unpacking my trauma before I could get to a point where I was thinking about it less.
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All of this . I was diagnosed with PTSD. I guess its cumulative as it came from different areas in my life- abusive father, stalked and attacked in college, married an alcoholic, autistic child, cancer
I will say I haven't had the episodes of your sister but make no mistake the PTSD affects every interaction of my life. I too have had to unpack it again and again in therapy approximately 10 years. Once you work on it in my experience the PTSD is no longer in control. Don't get me wrong its still there but you understand your reactions, feelings, anxiety better and are able to challenge them. Understanding that I had PTSD and learning about PTSD was so incredibly helpful. It meant I have been through an extraordinary amount of S*&# and am still going and still asking for help and learning. Those are all good things.
[COLOR="Black"]
All of this . I was diagnosed with PTSD. I guess its cumulative as it came from different areas in my life- abusive father, stalked and attacked in college, married an alcoholic, autistic child, cancer
I will say I haven't had the episodes of your sister but make no mistake the PTSD affects every interaction of my life. I too have had to unpack it again and again in therapy approximately 10 years. Once you work on it in my experience the PTSD is no longer in control. Don't get me wrong its still there but you understand your reactions, feelings, anxiety better and are able to challenge them. Understanding that I had PTSD and learning about PTSD was so incredibly helpful. It meant I have been through an extraordinary amount of S*&# and am still going and still asking for help and learning. Those are all good things.
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Originally Posted by Wamama48 
Honestly that sounds a little overboard to me. Yes he was an evening alcoholic for 18 years, loads of resentment, anger and hurt on my end.
My sister has PTSD. I've seen her episodes. I've talked to her while she's locked herself in a closet and she's talking to me and our mom (who died 4 years ago) Mine is nothing like that. She was in an abusive relationship, and a severe car accident. My RA never hit me, verbally abused me, put me down, blamed me for his stupidity etc.
I told my councelor to put off entering that into my chart right now. Once its in your medical record its near impossible to retract.
My sister has PTSD. I've seen her episodes. I've talked to her while she's locked herself in a closet and she's talking to me and our mom (who died 4 years ago) Mine is nothing like that. She was in an abusive relationship, and a severe car accident. My RA never hit me, verbally abused me, put me down, blamed me for his stupidity etc.
I told my councelor to put off entering that into my chart right now. Once its in your medical record its near impossible to retract.
Emotional PTSD is VERY real Wamama - don't be so quick to dismiss this as overreacting just because it doesn't compare equally to a more abusive situation.
In fact - stop comparing yourself to others at all, would be my best input on this subject. Your path is YOURS. Comparison kills momentum in recovery, especially because there isn't an exact "right" & "wrong". Comparison crushes your motivation..... stay in YOUR lane.
Is someone less of an addict because they can control their drinking differently for a while? No. Is someone less Codie because they have areas of their life where they can keep those behaviors in check? No. Is your PTSD less-than because you didn't earn it through violence? NO!
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PTSD has distinct physical symptoms and diagnostic criteria - actual physiological things are happening, it's not in your head. There is a lot of info online. I did quite a bit of personal private research and growth to heal myself from PTSD, but there are medical and therapeutic interventions that help, too - like EMDR.
If you go for help, why not take it when it's offered? You didn't cause this, it was created by outside circumstances. No shame in that.
If you've got it and your therapist has diagnosed you, why would it be an issue if it's in your chart? From my experience, it's quite easy to have mental health diagnoses removed from your electronic chart. Regardless, who is going to know other than the medical professionals who are in place to help you?
I would take every opportunity to use the treatment available. Why suffer when there are treatments that can help?
If you go for help, why not take it when it's offered? You didn't cause this, it was created by outside circumstances. No shame in that.
If you've got it and your therapist has diagnosed you, why would it be an issue if it's in your chart? From my experience, it's quite easy to have mental health diagnoses removed from your electronic chart. Regardless, who is going to know other than the medical professionals who are in place to help you?
I would take every opportunity to use the treatment available. Why suffer when there are treatments that can help?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
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Here are just a few older posts where PTSD comes up - but there are tons if you do a advanced search.... 
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ical-part.html (Recovery: the physical part)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...5219-ptsd.html (Ptsd?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...n-opening.html (The sound of a beer can opening)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ical-part.html (Recovery: the physical part)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...5219-ptsd.html (Ptsd?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...n-opening.html (The sound of a beer can opening)
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Join Date: Aug 2017
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I think PTSD when living with addiction and alcoholism is very common. I was diagnosed with it years ago and used EMDR and another therapy called ETT (I think?) that helped tremendously to bring the anxiety and flashbacks I was having to subside. That was from a more specific incident I witnessed with my ex, but I believe after a few more years of living in the tornado of addiction I would have what you call cumulative PTSD. I don't have flashbacks of anything specific now, but I do have waves of anxiety that seem to come from nowhere which makes me think it is PTSD.
I am actually going to bring this up to my therapist and see what she thinks. If it is cumulative PTSD then I want to deal with it asap.
I agree with what was said above why wouldn't you take your therapist up on therapeutic treatment options available? They help. Why not explore it - you might find relief.
Personally I don't think PTSD is a big thing to be afraid of being diagnosed with or having listed in your chart. It is not always what your sister experiences or what war veterans experience. It can be much less severe. It is another byproduct of living around the disease of addiction.
Please don't avoid getting help because you are afraid of the label. I hope you will at least discuss it more with your therapist and learn about what you are dealing with.
I am actually going to bring this up to my therapist and see what she thinks. If it is cumulative PTSD then I want to deal with it asap.
I agree with what was said above why wouldn't you take your therapist up on therapeutic treatment options available? They help. Why not explore it - you might find relief.
Personally I don't think PTSD is a big thing to be afraid of being diagnosed with or having listed in your chart. It is not always what your sister experiences or what war veterans experience. It can be much less severe. It is another byproduct of living around the disease of addiction.
Please don't avoid getting help because you are afraid of the label. I hope you will at least discuss it more with your therapist and learn about what you are dealing with.
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
Last year I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression by my doctor. This is what she wrote on my chart but went on to explain how she felt those were symptoms of PTSD. I was confused, because while I did go through a lot with my husband, and was dealing with a somewhat complicated pregnancy - I was surprised because I thought of PTSD as something that happens after being in combat, or going through horrific events like a natural disaster.
But there are different forms - I cannot remember the name that she gave me, but she said it was the type family members often get when dealing with a loved one who is chronically ill. My biggest symptom has been the feeling like more bad things are on their way, and I don't feel safe. It doesn't help to be a new mom and to feel like you and your family are not safe. Physical, emotional symptoms come from it of course and dare I say it - its been something my husband has had to deal with also. Shoe on the other foot so to speak.
Therapy, medication, sharing with my family and a few friends, calm in our home, focus on self care - sleep (again hard with the baby), eating healthy, exercise. Guided imagery helps me a lot and my husband is the one who got me started on this. Deep breathing exercises. Trying to incorporate lots of positive and fun things into my week that I can look forward to. Doing things that challenge me but don't feel overwhelming so I regain confidence and that feeling of safe.
Im feeling better. Im still on maternity leave and to some extent this has played into all the anxiety. Being at home, all the changes that come with being a new mom - that alone is a lot. We moved and so its taking time for the new house to feel like home. The house we had prior to this one, we obtained it right before my husband went active in his addiction. I never had a chance to feel like it was a safe haven. This house - Ive been working to make it home. This has been helping me too. As I slowly transform the house, at the same time its like Im transforming myself.
I still don't know HOW Im going to go back to work and leave my son. Im not sure what feelings thats going to trigger. I haven't set a date to return yet !
But there are different forms - I cannot remember the name that she gave me, but she said it was the type family members often get when dealing with a loved one who is chronically ill. My biggest symptom has been the feeling like more bad things are on their way, and I don't feel safe. It doesn't help to be a new mom and to feel like you and your family are not safe. Physical, emotional symptoms come from it of course and dare I say it - its been something my husband has had to deal with also. Shoe on the other foot so to speak.
Therapy, medication, sharing with my family and a few friends, calm in our home, focus on self care - sleep (again hard with the baby), eating healthy, exercise. Guided imagery helps me a lot and my husband is the one who got me started on this. Deep breathing exercises. Trying to incorporate lots of positive and fun things into my week that I can look forward to. Doing things that challenge me but don't feel overwhelming so I regain confidence and that feeling of safe.
Im feeling better. Im still on maternity leave and to some extent this has played into all the anxiety. Being at home, all the changes that come with being a new mom - that alone is a lot. We moved and so its taking time for the new house to feel like home. The house we had prior to this one, we obtained it right before my husband went active in his addiction. I never had a chance to feel like it was a safe haven. This house - Ive been working to make it home. This has been helping me too. As I slowly transform the house, at the same time its like Im transforming myself.
I still don't know HOW Im going to go back to work and leave my son. Im not sure what feelings thats going to trigger. I haven't set a date to return yet !
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
Leaving tour baby when you go back to work is so hard. I will be thinking of you. 😍
Originally Posted by aliciagr
Last year I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression by my doctor. This is what she wrote on my chart but went on to explain how she felt those were symptoms of PTSD. I was confused, because while I did go through a lot with my husband, and was dealing with a somewhat complicated pregnancy - I was surprised because I thought of PTSD as something that happens after being in combat, or going through horrific events like a natural disaster.
But there are different forms - I cannot remember the name that she gave me, but she said it was the type family members often get when dealing with a loved one who is chronically ill. My biggest symptom has been the feeling like more bad things are on their way, and I don't feel safe. It doesn't help to be a new mom and to feel like you and your family are not safe. Physical, emotional symptoms come from it of course and dare I say it - its been something my husband has had to deal with also. Shoe on the other foot so to speak.
Therapy, medication, sharing with my family and a few friends, calm in our home, focus on self care - sleep (again hard with the baby), eating healthy, exercise. Guided imagery helps me a lot and my husband is the one who got me started on this. Deep breathing exercises. Trying to incorporate lots of positive and fun things into my week that I can look forward to. Doing things that challenge me but don't feel overwhelming so I regain confidence and that feeling of safe.
Im feeling better. Im still on maternity leave and to some extent this has played into all the anxiety. Being at home, all the changes that come with being a new mom - that alone is a lot. We moved and so its taking time for the new house to feel like home. The house we had prior to this one, we obtained it right before my husband went active in his addiction. I never had a chance to feel like it was a safe haven. This house - Ive been working to make it home. This has been helping me too. As I slowly transform the house, at the same time its like Im transforming myself.
I still don't know HOW Im going to go back to work and leave my son. Im not sure what feelings thats going to trigger. I haven't set a date to return yet !
But there are different forms - I cannot remember the name that she gave me, but she said it was the type family members often get when dealing with a loved one who is chronically ill. My biggest symptom has been the feeling like more bad things are on their way, and I don't feel safe. It doesn't help to be a new mom and to feel like you and your family are not safe. Physical, emotional symptoms come from it of course and dare I say it - its been something my husband has had to deal with also. Shoe on the other foot so to speak.
Therapy, medication, sharing with my family and a few friends, calm in our home, focus on self care - sleep (again hard with the baby), eating healthy, exercise. Guided imagery helps me a lot and my husband is the one who got me started on this. Deep breathing exercises. Trying to incorporate lots of positive and fun things into my week that I can look forward to. Doing things that challenge me but don't feel overwhelming so I regain confidence and that feeling of safe.
Im feeling better. Im still on maternity leave and to some extent this has played into all the anxiety. Being at home, all the changes that come with being a new mom - that alone is a lot. We moved and so its taking time for the new house to feel like home. The house we had prior to this one, we obtained it right before my husband went active in his addiction. I never had a chance to feel like it was a safe haven. This house - Ive been working to make it home. This has been helping me too. As I slowly transform the house, at the same time its like Im transforming myself.
I still don't know HOW Im going to go back to work and leave my son. Im not sure what feelings thats going to trigger. I haven't set a date to return yet !
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
That was a huge fear for me. Something major would happen and he would be too drunk to help me. I can not believe what happen ed to you. I had to reread it several times. Unbelievable. I can't even imagine.
Originally Posted by Ladybird579
I have PTSD but I don't think it was caused primarily by living with exah but he made it worse. Prior to him being around I had several major things happen in my life my body didn't respond well too and I found myself getting panic attacks and flash backs randomly. The waking up shaking started again when exah got worse after we had a house fire in which I had to get all my kids out and animals by myself cos he was too drunk to even move. My eldest son and I dragged him naked down the stairs and I got even worse after that. I just felt so alone....7 kids in a house at 4 am, plus 8 cats and a dog to get out into flood waters outside was my final straw. That night the emergency services number was engaged. The whole town was under water. Exah knew it was flooding, he knew we had electrical problems but he drank anyway. That was the night we split up in my head even tho it took me another few years to bring it about permanently.
What has helped? Getting exah out my life helped no end even tho he wasn't the primary cause. I never, ever felt safe with him. It was all one drama after another and me second guessing how I was supposed to feel and act around him. I feel safe and loved now cos it is in my hands not his. I refuse to dwell on the past. If I wake up with dark thoughts I get up and get busy. I live life in the now. I don't future trip on stuff that may never happen cos I've found even if things do they are never as bad as I anticipate. Don't under estimate what a terrible time you have had and are still having. Your husband is a selfish dry drunk now and prior to that he was a selfish drunk. Just cos he wasn't as bad as some does not mean your experience is or was any better. I found planning my exit helped. I was determined no one would ever make me feel trapped again..not myself or another human being.
You may need some medication to get you over the first few months and maybe some cbt. I never tho. I just pushed on until the times I felt bad gradually lessened. Maybe your therapist can give you some pointers to help you? You can live with it and overcome it but it will take life changes on your part and time. ((hugs)) xx
What has helped? Getting exah out my life helped no end even tho he wasn't the primary cause. I never, ever felt safe with him. It was all one drama after another and me second guessing how I was supposed to feel and act around him. I feel safe and loved now cos it is in my hands not his. I refuse to dwell on the past. If I wake up with dark thoughts I get up and get busy. I live life in the now. I don't future trip on stuff that may never happen cos I've found even if things do they are never as bad as I anticipate. Don't under estimate what a terrible time you have had and are still having. Your husband is a selfish dry drunk now and prior to that he was a selfish drunk. Just cos he wasn't as bad as some does not mean your experience is or was any better. I found planning my exit helped. I was determined no one would ever make me feel trapped again..not myself or another human being.
You may need some medication to get you over the first few months and maybe some cbt. I never tho. I just pushed on until the times I felt bad gradually lessened. Maybe your therapist can give you some pointers to help you? You can live with it and overcome it but it will take life changes on your part and time. ((hugs)) xx
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Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
You ladies have been through so much! And you came out strong! We are a strong, resilient bunch aren't we. I didn't realize emotionally caused PTSD was a thing. I didn't realize there were different types and degrees.
I just assumed you needed something severe to happen to you, and you had the reactions like my sister does. I will continue seeing my councelor. I don't want this taking over my life. I'm taking my life back and none of this crap is stopping me.
I didn't really think this was PTSD and that's why I didn't want it in my chart. Maybe I'm denying how much this has affected me. It seems over the top. Maybe its not.
I just assumed you needed something severe to happen to you, and you had the reactions like my sister does. I will continue seeing my councelor. I don't want this taking over my life. I'm taking my life back and none of this crap is stopping me.
I didn't really think this was PTSD and that's why I didn't want it in my chart. Maybe I'm denying how much this has affected me. It seems over the top. Maybe its not.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
I just assumed you needed something severe to happen to you
pretty sure that's why it's called CUMULATIVE??? not sudden or acute, but gathering OVER TIME.
what's the big deal about your chart? try to keep your focus on why you are IN therapy......and stay open to the process.
pretty sure that's why it's called CUMULATIVE??? not sudden or acute, but gathering OVER TIME.
what's the big deal about your chart? try to keep your focus on why you are IN therapy......and stay open to the process.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 500
The thing that helped me with the constant anxiety was Neurofeedback also called biofeedback. I did 40 sessions and saw a ton of relief of my anxiety. It basically retrains your brain to an electrical connection that has been lost due to constant stress. For me it has been able to program a "pause" into my thinking that allows me to work through the anxiety/stress before reacting to it. I had been living with so much anxiety that my ADD brain couldn't actually shift away from the anxiety. It was explained to me that I had a flight/fight/hunter brain and when you have issues that turn on that response and is constantly stimulated like it had been for years that becomes your goto response. Your brain is constantly looking for danger to protect you from it. It's a ****** way to live and it kills your adrenaline glands and your energy level. I did that as well as therapy and I learned a ton of things about myself. I am no longer afraid of sleeping alone, being home alone etc (that had been going on for over 20 years), I am ridiculously strong emotionally, I am the calm one in a crisis not my AH, I am addicted to peace and that is super healthy for me, I have done more for my kids and family then most will do in a lifetime, I'm a fantastic friend. I was always so afraid of failing or disappointing my spouse or family, but you know what failing is part of life and I deserve to have people that love me because of that not in spite of that. I am covered in scars from surgery, childbirth, poor choices, emotional and physical abuse but I will show my scars because they are a testament of how strong I am. Hoping you can embrace the PTSD and all your scars, they make you beautiful by telling your story of resilience.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I was diagnosed with PTSD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
What helped me is that my counselor then basically said, who cares about the diagnosis. The issue is the symptoms, and how to treat/handle them.
I have come a LONG way even in the past year, however I do still have episodes. Meditation, reading certain books, staying busy, exercise, my pets, counseling, and the wonderful people here at SR. I have tried to learn things that help me.
My work has an EAP and I at one point when it got really bad I have called and talked to them. They even paid for a few of my counseling sessions which was a God send at the time.
I encourage you not to get too tied up into a diagnosis and work with the counselor in what helps to alleviate your symptoms.
Big hugs!
What helped me is that my counselor then basically said, who cares about the diagnosis. The issue is the symptoms, and how to treat/handle them.
I have come a LONG way even in the past year, however I do still have episodes. Meditation, reading certain books, staying busy, exercise, my pets, counseling, and the wonderful people here at SR. I have tried to learn things that help me.
My work has an EAP and I at one point when it got really bad I have called and talked to them. They even paid for a few of my counseling sessions which was a God send at the time.
I encourage you not to get too tied up into a diagnosis and work with the counselor in what helps to alleviate your symptoms.
Big hugs!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
I didn't want it in my chart because I thought she was just seeing things as way more serious than they actually were. So I didn't agree with her diagnosis. After hearing everyone's experiences I now agree.
Originally Posted by AnvilheadII
I just assumed you needed something severe to happen to you
pretty sure that's why it's called CUMULATIVE??? not sudden or acute, but gathering OVER TIME.
what's the big deal about your chart? try to keep your focus on why you are IN therapy......and stay open to the process.
pretty sure that's why it's called CUMULATIVE??? not sudden or acute, but gathering OVER TIME.
what's the big deal about your chart? try to keep your focus on why you are IN therapy......and stay open to the process.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 224
Originally Posted by Wamama48
These are the things I told her.....
-Twice in 2 months, at home, I thought I smelled beer. I started shaking and crying. The kids didn't smell anything, and I'm fine stocking beer at work or smelling alcohol on other people.
-If I accidentally touch him, I have to rub that feeling off of my hand. Just for 30 seconds or up to 5 minutes.
-I panic if I'm in the car with him more than 15 min. I feel like I'm trapped, I have to run away.
- I have dreams of him, always involving beer, but nothing scary, just normal everyday things. I wake up with my eyes opening suddenly, and I'm completely awake.
-I can be in the same room with him now, even sit and talk civily for a while. At first he had to stay out of any room I was in. If I came into a room he was in, we had an understanding he would leave the room if I needed to be there. Like cooking dinner for example.
-He can't be within 5 feet of me or I shutter and feel panicky. I automatically tense up and move away.
-When he's within hearing distance I am always aware of him being around me, and where he's at.
Yes I realize these are not your everyday run of the mill things, but PTSD is a serious, big thing. I don't want another big thing. I want it all to go away.
-Twice in 2 months, at home, I thought I smelled beer. I started shaking and crying. The kids didn't smell anything, and I'm fine stocking beer at work or smelling alcohol on other people.
-If I accidentally touch him, I have to rub that feeling off of my hand. Just for 30 seconds or up to 5 minutes.
-I panic if I'm in the car with him more than 15 min. I feel like I'm trapped, I have to run away.
- I have dreams of him, always involving beer, but nothing scary, just normal everyday things. I wake up with my eyes opening suddenly, and I'm completely awake.
-I can be in the same room with him now, even sit and talk civily for a while. At first he had to stay out of any room I was in. If I came into a room he was in, we had an understanding he would leave the room if I needed to be there. Like cooking dinner for example.
-He can't be within 5 feet of me or I shutter and feel panicky. I automatically tense up and move away.
-When he's within hearing distance I am always aware of him being around me, and where he's at.
Yes I realize these are not your everyday run of the mill things, but PTSD is a serious, big thing. I don't want another big thing. I want it all to go away.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 681
I would LOVE to be where you are in your journey!
Originally Posted by dawnrising
The thing that helped me with the constant anxiety was Neurofeedback also called biofeedback. I did 40 sessions and saw a ton of relief of my anxiety. It basically retrains your brain to an electrical connection that has been lost due to constant stress. For me it has been able to program a "pause" into my thinking that allows me to work through the anxiety/stress before reacting to it. I had been living with so much anxiety that my ADD brain couldn't actually shift away from the anxiety. It was explained to me that I had a flight/fight/hunter brain and when you have issues that turn on that response and is constantly stimulated like it had been for years that becomes your goto response. Your brain is constantly looking for danger to protect you from it. It's a ****** way to live and it kills your adrenaline glands and your energy level. I did that as well as therapy and I learned a ton of things about myself. I am no longer afraid of sleeping alone, being home alone etc (that had been going on for over 20 years), I am ridiculously strong emotionally, I am the calm one in a crisis not my AH, I am addicted to peace and that is super healthy for me, I have done more for my kids and family then most will do in a lifetime, I'm a fantastic friend. I was always so afraid of failing or disappointing my spouse or family, but you know what failing is part of life and I deserve to have people that love me because of that not in spite of that. I am covered in scars from surgery, childbirth, poor choices, emotional and physical abuse but I will show my scars because they are a testament of how strong I am. Hoping you can embrace the PTSD and all your scars, they make you beautiful by telling your story of resilience.
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by Wamama48
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