My ex-girlfriend is blaming me for HER drinking problem

Old 03-20-2018, 10:37 AM
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My ex-girlfriend is blaming me for HER drinking problem

Hi,

I have a little problem with my "crazy" ex, who I think has troubles letting me go for some reason. She sure still thinks of me, juding from her actions.

Little backround- We lived together for 2,5 years. I dumped her 6 months ago, after finding out she had cheated on me multiple times. Despite still being very much in love with her, I had to let her go. Cheating, atleast for me is the one thing that ends a relasionship in an instant. She now lives with one of the guys she cheated on me with.

Despite the fact she is now in a new relasionship, she keeps drunk SMS/Text-ing me angerly, stating that I ruined her....Saying that she hates me and I should stay the F away from her, or her new boyfriend will beat me up. - Totally unfounded claim, because I´m the one keeping distance.

After I blacklisted her phone number and blocked her from all my social media accounts, she resorted in sending me an e-mail...blabbering on about how much she loathes me. Day later she sent me an apology e-mail, saying she was drunk and is really sorry. I replied with silence.

I havent tried to contact her in over 5 months, last time was right after breakup when I wanted to get some of my stuff back that she held on to. She is the one trying to provoke some communication or reaction out of me. I think she has troubles letting go.

Alcohol had It's palce in our relationship, quite frequently we drank in the evenings. She often got quite drunk, so did I. She swears, that before she got into relasionship with me, she hardly ever drank, I supposevly ruined her and now she is unable to put the bottle down.

I on the other hand stopped drinking after brakeup, got into best shape of my life, looking 10x better than before. Maybe she has some regrets cheating on me? Who knows... But it sure sucks being randomly yelled at by a person who was the dearest not so long ago.

I have forgiven her for cheating. I don't hate her, but I dont want her back in my life eather. I know that deep down, I still have feelings for her (she was my first true love). For some reason she hates me, but I do belive she is the one who wronged me not vice-versa. I refuse to take any responsibilities for her drinking problem.

I think that maybe she hoped that I wouldn´t find out about her cheating, and wanted to stay with me. Or she was planning to dump me in the long run and I got there first, and she wont handle being dumped well.

Thinking that when I have to deal with one more of her drunken outbursts, I will screenshot it, and send it directly to her new boyfriend, asking him to calm her down. But something in my head tells me, that would´t be very wise....should not interfere with their relasionship..

I dont wanna hurt her or her new relasionship, I just want her off my back
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Old 03-20-2018, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Offwego View Post
I dont wanna hurt her or her new relasionship, I just want her off my back
Hi Offwego,

Well, she certainly sounds angry.

Thing is, there is absolutely nothing you can do about this at this point. You have blocked her and you should continue to do so if she finds new ways to contact you. You two have broken up, both sides are clear about that and you certainly don't need abuse.

You are correct in thinking you don't want to hurt her or her new relationship and you are correct in staying well away from it.

Just keep on keeping on. I am sure it's annoying but you are doing the right thing by just keeping your distance.
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Old 03-20-2018, 11:09 AM
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Same as my exAgf..almost identical with the cheating,drinking together,blaming me,contacting me asking to borrow money(after she moved in with some guy she was cheating with),contacting me via email after being blocked..one is how she misses me..the next is blaming and 'how great her life is'...I've not spoken to her in months and just getting on with my life...THEN..last night I had a dream that she's getting married. Of course in my dream that news led me to getting drunk(sober 14-15 months)..It's annoying. Silence speaks volumes,my friend!
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Old 03-20-2018, 11:13 AM
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Can't you just block her on email as well? Seems like the easiest way to not have to worry about any further drunken outbursts or how to manage them.
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Old 03-20-2018, 11:52 AM
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Agree.

No new contact means no new drama. She will tire of it and move on to the next person she can find to blame.

I hope you put zero stock into what she is saying. She needs to own up to her own problems.
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Old 03-20-2018, 04:39 PM
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I am glad you found us Ofwego and congrats for doing the right thing in a tough situation. I'm sure it was difficult.

Your gut is correct: don't respond to any contact from her and block and/or mark as junk any email from her.

Unfortunately, her current relationship will probably end and she may put more effort into contacting you. It is usually good to have a plan for this eventuality. Ugh.
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