Calling the Moms!
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Oh wow do I ever understand this! I still have those same anxieties and fears sometimes.
I absolutely love that your D donated her hair to charity. What a selfless thing to do! You are definitely doing some things right friend!
HUGE HUGS!
I get it. I wanted to share on wanting our children to grow up happy and healthy: Recently, my D wanted to donate her hair to a charity. Her long, beautiful, thick, curly hair. She was persistent. She raised money to send in with her hair. When it came salon day, I was surprised by my thoughts. I had anxiety and fear of xah finding out and what he would say/do. This wasn't her first hair cut, but it was major and I was second guessing myself. Risk vs. reward. I went to the restroom, composed myself and gave myself I pep talk, xah hasn't seen the children in years, no support, his voice in my head gets no input on this little girls happiness. I wish I didn't still hear his voice. Progress though. For never knowing what may "trigger" me, I try to be kind to myself and give myself some credit of how far I have come. Reading your stories and others on this board helps me work through so much of what comes along in my life.
I absolutely love that your D donated her hair to charity. What a selfless thing to do! You are definitely doing some things right friend!
HUGE HUGS!
Originally Posted by Gm0824 
I get it. I wanted to share on wanting our children to grow up happy and healthy: Recently, my D wanted to donate her hair to a charity. Her long, beautiful, thick, curly hair. She was persistent. She raised money to send in with her hair. When it came salon day, I was surprised by my thoughts. I had anxiety and fear of xah finding out and what he would say/do. This wasn't her first hair cut, but it was major and I was second guessing myself. Risk vs. reward. I went to the restroom, composed myself and gave myself I pep talk, xah hasn't seen the children in years, no support, his voice in my head gets no input on this little girls happiness. I wish I didn't still hear his voice. Progress though. For never knowing what may "trigger" me, I try to be kind to myself and give myself some credit of how far I have come. Reading your stories and others on this board helps me work through so much of what comes along in my life.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 61
Such careless comments can destroy a young girl's confidence for years to come. The damage has now been done and whatever anyone says to her will not convince her that her legs aren't chunky. She will always have that thought in her head now - the jerk has sown a seed.
Really too bad you're allowing him in your home to stay. I'd tell him to get a motel room down the road. I would show my daughter by my actions, that the idiot isn't welcome in your lives and you won't tolerate verbal abuse because that's what it is. Verbal and emotional abuse of a young girl.
No excuses whatsoever for that personal attack, no matter what his intelligence level. It was malicious and targeted no matter what your sister or her jerk of a husband says.
Keep him away from your daughter!
Really too bad you're allowing him in your home to stay. I'd tell him to get a motel room down the road. I would show my daughter by my actions, that the idiot isn't welcome in your lives and you won't tolerate verbal abuse because that's what it is. Verbal and emotional abuse of a young girl.
No excuses whatsoever for that personal attack, no matter what his intelligence level. It was malicious and targeted no matter what your sister or her jerk of a husband says.
Keep him away from your daughter!
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Join Date: May 2010
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I do understand what you are saying, however, there are some things you don't understand either. It's not always so cut and dry.
Needless to say, he did talk to my daughter for a long time, they are ok now. I agree a seed has been sewn, however, she is smart enough to consider the source. Luckily she has a very athletic body that she gets admiration from.
I have let him know in no uncertain terms that this is not acceptable and that if it happens again he will not have a relationship with my child. He genuinely loves my kids, and felt horribly.
It is what it is, and now we can only move forward.
Needless to say, he did talk to my daughter for a long time, they are ok now. I agree a seed has been sewn, however, she is smart enough to consider the source. Luckily she has a very athletic body that she gets admiration from.
I have let him know in no uncertain terms that this is not acceptable and that if it happens again he will not have a relationship with my child. He genuinely loves my kids, and felt horribly.
It is what it is, and now we can only move forward.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
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Luckily she has a very athletic body that she gets admiration from.
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Join Date: May 2010
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I agree.
Originally Posted by TropicalWinter
Some body image/positivity work would still do some good, b/c bodies change. That external validation can lead to disordered mindsets very easily.
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