BeccaS

Hi everyone I decided to join here to hopefully get some perspective or advice for my situation. I am an adult child living with an alcoholic mother, and I feel like I have been run down to the point of not being able to function anymore because of it. My mother never drank when I was young, so this has only surfaced over the last few years. And the longer it goes on the worse it gets. This past year I have taken her to rehab over 6 times, she's assaulted me, she's been in jail multiple times, and she has attempted suicide twice and demanded me to call 911, multiple accounts of theft from stores, and many times have demanded that me and my grandmother pay her restaurant bill when she leaves to find somewhere to drink. She just got off house arrest for breaking parole this previous Friday and she's already back to the bottle.

I've done my grieving over the thought of moving out with my grandmother leaving her to her own devices, I know I can't stay living like this and my grandmothers health is only deteriorating. Has anyone had to deal with the hardship of walking away? I don't think I can stand the thought of living with her any longer but I know that means I'm either leaving her to become homeless, loose our family dog (pit bull, and cant take her with us), leaving her to be put in jail, or worse if her depression consumes her. I love her very much but I can't do this anymore with her.

Katiekate

You are not responsible for any of the consequences your mother suffers due to her own drinking, that is on her. She is creating her own misery and she does not get to make everyone around her miserable unless they let her .

Maybe you could find another home for the dog, I personally wouldn't want to leave an animal in what sounds to me like an unsafe place.

You and your grandmother and the dog deserve to have peace in your lives. I hope that can happen for all of you.

PuzzledHeart

There are pit bull rescue and adoption orgs that might be able to help you out.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that. I'm amazed that you didn't leave earlier - nobody should be subjected to that kind of abusive treatment.

You cannot put your life on hold to take care of hers. I once told somebody on this forum that if I got ill and my son felt obligated to take care of me I would be heartbroken. We brought him into this world with the hope that he would take his shot at surviving and thriving. If your mom expects you to give up your own chance at doing the same, that says a lot about her.

I haven't spoken to my abuser, who took care of me when I was a child, in almost twenty years. I got a lot of heat for my decision. My sister, on the other hand, still maintains a relationship with her. She also has her own drug addiction and her children no longer live with her. I decided that I couldn't live with the pain that my abuser inflicted upon me, and my sister chose to drug herself up instead.

Pretending that the pain doesn't exist, that it's really "not that bad", ends up gnawing at your insides like there is no tomorrow. It's scary to bring that pain to the light, but in the long term you will be much better off.

Carol Star

If you get between anyone and their bottom they will land on you. Go live with your grandmother-hopefully find a good home for the dog- go to Alanon.

BeccaS

Thank you all so much for the responses, I admit I was very nervous about reaching out to others about this because I felt so guilty when I wanted her to leave to have some peace of mind. I've always had a very good relationship with my mother and I've been by her side when she was with my alcoholic stepfather and frankly, abusive siblings towards her. I felt like if I stuck by her side she would be able to find the strength to keep going.

I do have certain family members I plan on asking about when it comes to our family dog, and if it does need to come to it I will make sure she gets to a no-kill shelter and hopefully a good home.

London393

My mother was very similar, same issues. Finally after one extreme drunken violent rage like never before (where me and my younger sister and her newborn baby literally had to lock ourselves in a bedroom to keep her away from us and even that didn't stop her from trying to break down the door all night) between me and all my other siblings we decided me and sister needed to move out and get away from her. I went to live with a brother and my sister went to live in her boyfriend. I've never seen or spoken to my mother since. It's been almost 25 years now.

For me personally, it was just "no more". It was either keep living in that insanity and let it slowly keep eating me away, and killing my soul, and take my sanity or I can separate myself and move on and live my life. I chose me. My personal lesson learned? She showed me who I never ever wanted to be. The main thing I took away from that craziness was that it instilled a drive in me to keep going and be the best me I can. Aside from the issues I've been going thru recently with my AXBF, the rest of my life is in a great place which I'm very grateful for. I would never be where I am now (great job, great home, great friends, social life, have traveled, had alot of life experiences) if I had remained with her. Even after all this time I still hear from certain family members that she's not much better, not much has changed. I absolutely made the right decision.

Stay strong.

BeccaS

This was heartbreaking to read but I am so glad you came out of that situation with such a rich life, and it gives me a lot of hope that there's something beyond the state of what life has become in the last few years.