What is wailing wall?
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,620
Dandylion gives a good description:
Originally Posted by dandylion 
Wamama.....one of the exercises that was so very helpful, for me, was what I call the "Wailing Wall".....
this is how it goes....
Find a place where you are completely alone...(otherwise, onlookers may think you have flipped your bonnet)....lol...
I liked to go to a meadow on the edge of the woods....
Imagine that a person that you have strong emotions about is seated a few feet in front of you, as you face them.
Then, begin saying whatever is in your heart or mind to them. do NOT edit it...let it all come pouring out....anything that you would like to say or for them to hear....And/or....you can even scream at God or the Universe....
Keep going until it is all said...Scream if it feels good...the louder/the better....
Keep going until the tears have the mascara streaming down you face and the snot is flowing....keep going until you can't find any more to say....sob until there are no more tears will come....
This exercise will get you through some terrible pain. You can do it as often as you need/want to...
You can do a mini-version...in your car or in your house, or in your back yard...if you can truly be alone.
It really helps to externalize a lot of the negative energy and pain that is bottled up, inside....like you have shared it with the Universe and you are being heard....
***Some religions actually have this as part of their healing ritual for when a loved one is lost.....
this is how it goes....
Find a place where you are completely alone...(otherwise, onlookers may think you have flipped your bonnet)....lol...
I liked to go to a meadow on the edge of the woods....
Imagine that a person that you have strong emotions about is seated a few feet in front of you, as you face them.
Then, begin saying whatever is in your heart or mind to them. do NOT edit it...let it all come pouring out....anything that you would like to say or for them to hear....And/or....you can even scream at God or the Universe....
Keep going until it is all said...Scream if it feels good...the louder/the better....
Keep going until the tears have the mascara streaming down you face and the snot is flowing....keep going until you can't find any more to say....sob until there are no more tears will come....
This exercise will get you through some terrible pain. You can do it as often as you need/want to...
You can do a mini-version...in your car or in your house, or in your back yard...if you can truly be alone.
It really helps to externalize a lot of the negative energy and pain that is bottled up, inside....like you have shared it with the Universe and you are being heard....
***Some religions actually have this as part of their healing ritual for when a loved one is lost.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,620
I took that from this thread:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6762905 (Did you feel like an out of control child?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ml#post6762905 (Did you feel like an out of control child?)
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Sailorgirl.....LOL...it is a term that I coined (as far as I know)....for a technique that helped me sooo much during the active bleed part of my grieving...during a really horrible break-up that I had many years ago.
I believe, that it is also practiced in some cultures at the death of a oved one...but, I don't know what it is called.....
Basically. it is as follows....
Find an isolated, private location--I prefer someplace in nature...like a meadow or forest or seashore, etc.
Pretend that the person who you have painful feelings about...seated a few feet in front of you.
then proceed to tell them anything that you want to tell them...Anything!...
It is important not to sensor it....because it is not for anyone's ears except the person in front of you. Let it all out.
Keep talking or shouting until you have exhausted everything ....until your eyes are swollen from crying, and the snot is running down your face...and the mascara is smeared everywhere....Scream your anger at God or the Universe....
What t his does is to get the negative thoughts and emotions out of your body...especially if you have been obsessing....
It give you some immediate relief......and some emotional peace...rest...
It won't take away all of your grief forever...but, it gives some blessed relief....
and, most of all,,,I feel that it helps to validate your own feelings....when you can hear yourself expressing your own heart and soul......
Now, I can tell you, that it can be an intense experience (in a good way)...and It might be very surprising what feelings might come out of your own mouth....honest, real feelings!
It is my experience, that m ost people won't do the exercise....even if they agree that it is a "neat idea"....
I did it because I was desperate to stop, or at least, temper the pain that I was in. I would have done anything.....
LOL...sort of like the alcoholic who won't go for help until they are so desperate that they will do an ything to get sober....
I believe, that it is also practiced in some cultures at the death of a oved one...but, I don't know what it is called.....
Basically. it is as follows....
Find an isolated, private location--I prefer someplace in nature...like a meadow or forest or seashore, etc.
Pretend that the person who you have painful feelings about...seated a few feet in front of you.
then proceed to tell them anything that you want to tell them...Anything!...
It is important not to sensor it....because it is not for anyone's ears except the person in front of you. Let it all out.
Keep talking or shouting until you have exhausted everything ....until your eyes are swollen from crying, and the snot is running down your face...and the mascara is smeared everywhere....Scream your anger at God or the Universe....
What t his does is to get the negative thoughts and emotions out of your body...especially if you have been obsessing....
It give you some immediate relief......and some emotional peace...rest...
It won't take away all of your grief forever...but, it gives some blessed relief....
and, most of all,,,I feel that it helps to validate your own feelings....when you can hear yourself expressing your own heart and soul......
Now, I can tell you, that it can be an intense experience (in a good way)...and It might be very surprising what feelings might come out of your own mouth....honest, real feelings!
It is my experience, that m ost people won't do the exercise....even if they agree that it is a "neat idea"....
I did it because I was desperate to stop, or at least, temper the pain that I was in. I would have done anything.....
LOL...sort of like the alcoholic who won't go for help until they are so desperate that they will do an ything to get sober....
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