Ren33

. I’m currently sepeated but still married to my AH. I will make it short and sweet... growing up my Dad was an alcoholic... when I started dating my AH a lot of behaviors seemed to be normal because of my upbringing, that now I realize were early /progressive stages ... I have three children, was a single mom when I met him, and had two more children with him. Married for 6 years, together for 16. Separated last year after I had an affair. I was deeply unhappy and my emotional and physical needs were but being met . Throughout the years, although he never cheated, his sickness brought out terrible behavior. The usual as I have read here ...disappointment , unreliable, not a functioning co parent, disappearances, binges, stealing medication from our children , lying ... etc etc . He went to AA 2 years ago but relapsed. I believe I am deeply codependent. I have set boundaries and then renigged. I’m still in love with him I sacrifice or lie to myself that he misses and wants to spend time with us ( as a family) also feel guilty when I find out he’s been out at all hours drinking and really messing up his life further so I offer him solace at our home in hopes he will get it together. Have now realized I am being manipulated and set up boundaries again. In the last year he has not shown up for the children countless times and then said he was sorry and we’ve started from scratch. Currently This past weekend he was out partying I asked if he could pick up the kids for school on Monday he didn’t show up I have now are not answered his text for three days. I don’t know if I should forgive him and allow him access to the children or completely cut him off?

Sailorgirl57

Right now, keeping your kids safe and stable is a higher priority than his feelings. Sounds like taking a break from him might be good for all of you. Good luck.