QUACKERs.... Part 4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
Originally Posted by Bekindalways 
Yes, they often are mean.
PW, I'm a bit envious of your breakthrough in the last year or so. I keep hoping that at 58, I will have more lightbulbs go off; however, I'm grateful
Often I look at horrific human behavior a bit like Tich Naght Hahn suggested, "enjoy not having a toothache". I enjoy not having to be around this behavior but for the folks who are still living with their Qualifiers, this doesn't work. Pizza, Flower and others here still have to endure the rooster poop that is life with an alcoholic. Not funny at all.
PW, I'm a bit envious of your breakthrough in the last year or so. I keep hoping that at 58, I will have more lightbulbs go off; however, I'm grateful
Often I look at horrific human behavior a bit like Tich Naght Hahn suggested, "enjoy not having a toothache". I enjoy not having to be around this behavior but for the folks who are still living with their Qualifiers, this doesn't work. Pizza, Flower and others here still have to endure the rooster poop that is life with an alcoholic. Not funny at all.
The behaviours are truly horrendous. Torture. I could not see it at the time, I was buried in it. Couldn't breathe. Is only now I am away from it that I am able to see a lot more.
It was utter utter utter hell. I am ill now as my poor body is so battered. Being around it makes us mentally and physically ill.
The torture of being in it does not stop, the moment the abuser is gone. The damage is long lasting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 133
If you think about it, none of this is funny. The circumstances that bring about these statements from the alcoholics is downright ****** up. No one wants to be subjected to it. And it's obviously triggering for some.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
I actually never lived with my Qualifier but we dated for some years. I tend to find some things so so bad that it is funny to me but then I have relatively small exposure to what living with an alcoholic can be like.
I adore irony and I'm a bit of a goody goody who, when I was young, read too many novels with happy endings. I tend to enjoy the ironic contrasts of my youthful delusions and reality.
I adore irony and I'm a bit of a goody goody who, when I was young, read too many novels with happy endings. I tend to enjoy the ironic contrasts of my youthful delusions and reality.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,636
Yes some are truly funny in their outrageousness! I also think it's a good place to just put something down that seems so ridiculous, not something you would maybe want to start a thread about.
Also common experience.
Also common experience.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 235
There appear to be many valid studies on the use of humor as a coping mechanism, I'm no expert on it, but I was interested so had a quick peek.
In my experience, in the right company, dark humor is appropriate. This thread has always helped me.
In my experience, in the right company, dark humor is appropriate. This thread has always helped me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 436
My friend fell off the wagon after a 3 month detox.
Wednesday "I made myself so sick. Wow I didn't realise my body would lose its tolerance for alcohol so quickly. I've literally poisoned myself"
The following Wednesday: "I was so sick last week. I think it was covid"
Wednesday "I made myself so sick. Wow I didn't realise my body would lose its tolerance for alcohol so quickly. I've literally poisoned myself"
The following Wednesday: "I was so sick last week. I think it was covid"
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,002
Originally Posted by Amaranth
My friend fell off the wagon after a 3 month detox.
Wednesday "I made myself so sick. Wow I didn't realise my body would lose its tolerance for alcohol so quickly. I've literally poisoned myself"
The following Wednesday: "I was so sick last week. I think it was covid"
Wednesday "I made myself so sick. Wow I didn't realise my body would lose its tolerance for alcohol so quickly. I've literally poisoned myself"
The following Wednesday: "I was so sick last week. I think it was covid"
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
As a review and explanation to those new folks who may not be familiar with what "QUACKING" is.
In these parts, we call quacking the stupid, ridiculous, outrageous things that come out of our practicing alcoholic's mouth. If we have ever lived with a practicing alcoholic, we have all heard them!!!!!!
In fact, we have been advised that it helps when they are running their mouths with all of the crazy denial and alcoholic logic---rather than engage in a fruitless and dead-end conversation or argument----to, rather----just visualize them as a tiny quacking duck----with a Q on their head.
This can help US-----rather than exhaust ourselves in another crazy argument-----we can just ignore them or Laugh at it, to ourselves.
When living with a practicing alcoholic----sometimes we laugh so that we don't cry!
It is o.k. to laugh!
Can anyone describe some utterly ridiculous thing your alcoholic has ever said?
If so---we would love to hear it.
To get the idea---it might help to go back and read some of the earlier Quackers-----some are soooo funny....
In these parts, we call quacking the stupid, ridiculous, outrageous things that come out of our practicing alcoholic's mouth. If we have ever lived with a practicing alcoholic, we have all heard them!!!!!!
In fact, we have been advised that it helps when they are running their mouths with all of the crazy denial and alcoholic logic---rather than engage in a fruitless and dead-end conversation or argument----to, rather----just visualize them as a tiny quacking duck----with a Q on their head.
This can help US-----rather than exhaust ourselves in another crazy argument-----we can just ignore them or Laugh at it, to ourselves.
When living with a practicing alcoholic----sometimes we laugh so that we don't cry!
It is o.k. to laugh!
Can anyone describe some utterly ridiculous thing your alcoholic has ever said?
If so---we would love to hear it.
To get the idea---it might help to go back and read some of the earlier Quackers-----some are soooo funny....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 291
Few years ago, I was explaining ( or trying to) to my addict son, that his step sister would be dealing with the sale of the house, when my husband and I were no longer here. We had set up our wills, and funeral plans - morbid topic, I know, but necessary. I told him, him and his sister would get half each, from the sale etc. He was very serious when he said " I don't mean to be cheeky or anything, but have you any idea when that might be?" 😂😂
Much Love
Bute x
Much Love
Bute x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
Red flag of an alcoholic I dated briefly:
Things seemed awkward, but I thought maybe on his home turf, it would be better. I traveled to his home town to spend the weekend. It was still painfully awkward. I drink, not a lot, but this weekend, where neither of us was driving, was where the issue of his drinking started to become apparent. One night we decided to have discussions about big topics; lifestyle, money, religion. You know, the big things it helps to agree on if two people are thinking about spending a life together. And we get to religion. He's an atheist, and I thought, okay, I'm not, but maybe I could live with one. Until, after a couple more servings of scotch, he looked at me admiringly and said - - "You know, you're really smart, for a theist."
Not exactly the thing to say when you're trying to woo someone.
Things seemed awkward, but I thought maybe on his home turf, it would be better. I traveled to his home town to spend the weekend. It was still painfully awkward. I drink, not a lot, but this weekend, where neither of us was driving, was where the issue of his drinking started to become apparent. One night we decided to have discussions about big topics; lifestyle, money, religion. You know, the big things it helps to agree on if two people are thinking about spending a life together. And we get to religion. He's an atheist, and I thought, okay, I'm not, but maybe I could live with one. Until, after a couple more servings of scotch, he looked at me admiringly and said - - "You know, you're really smart, for a theist."
Not exactly the thing to say when you're trying to woo someone.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 134
My qualifier has given up on all doctors because all they do is the same testing and "nothing" ever comes back to give a diagnosis of why they feel so bad and why "things keep messing up in my head"! Mind you, there are plenty of tests that show issues (elevated liver enzymes, high cholesterol, hypertension, elevated CO2 levels due to smoking etc.), but nothing that makes sense to them. All I can say is: "you're right, you are an enigma" and then hope to change the subject!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: maine
Posts: 1,548
I was working a couple jobs because hubby preferred to drink the days away. Ours was 'the house of perpetual renovation' and man project were going on. Frustratingly, I'd clean up room he had stopped working on, and he'd immediately show interest and start in again. (slowly, because after all, only I was bringing in money.)
I suggested he start on the downstairs bathroom. Yes, he said, that was a great idea! Because he couldn't possibly get a job until we had two working bathrooms. How else could we both get ready for work?
I suggested he start on the downstairs bathroom. Yes, he said, that was a great idea! Because he couldn't possibly get a job until we had two working bathrooms. How else could we both get ready for work?
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