QUACKERs.... Part 4

Old 03-07-2021, 03:23 PM
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I’m the one hurting myself this whole time!

Today I learned that it’s not that he’s done anything that’s hurt me, it’s that I define reality and him by my emotions, which are all negative. Thus, I blame him for all my unhappiness in this relationship....isn’t it amazing? And he adds that he “suffers” and has been the whole relationship.

Isn’t that a neat way to both absolve him from any responsibility and blame me for causing my own pain?
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Old 03-07-2021, 03:59 PM
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pizza......yes it is.
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Old 03-19-2021, 04:37 PM
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Opening a window is women’s work

I think I should add the letter S for sexist to my current acronym, NADDH (Narcissistic Alcoholic Dry Drunk Husband.”

context: I’m making dinner while his ass sits on the sofa. We both work and although he is considered FT and I PT, I put in the same if not more hours of work plus the house etc.

Me: (opened window while I cook)
NADDH: I’m sensitive to fish smell, do what you can to ventilate.
Me: You can open more windows if you want to.
NADDH (getting up and getting in my space) So I ask for a window to be open because I’m sensitive to fish and you can’t do that?
Me: I’m already cooking dinner. You can do that if you like.
NADDH: Thats who you are I guess, can’t even open a window.
Me: Thats who you are, can’t get up off the sofa to open a window.
NADDH (in my space again). I asked you to do it because I meant you could do something like turn the vent on, but anyway, in the division of labor in this house, you’re responsible for cooking and part of that is to ventilate the window.

https://media.wired.com/photos/59265...aidsTaleTA.jpg

tl;dr: He’s too important to open a window, that’s for menial servants.
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Old 03-19-2021, 07:08 PM
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Ah Pizza, yep that is some grade A quacking right there.
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Old 03-19-2021, 10:10 PM
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Yep. Some Grade A quacking from an authoritarian bully.
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Old 03-21-2021, 09:41 PM
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Originally Posted by dandylion View Post
Yep. Some Grade A quacking from an authoritarian bully.
oh yeah. Idk wtf happened to him. We were on equal terms when we started decades ago. Of course, he wasn’t an alcoholic then. It’s like he’s a bitter judge senior citizen and I’m like 30; but I’m not—we are the same age.
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Old 03-23-2021, 06:48 AM
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Originally Posted by pizza67 View Post
oh yeah. Idk wtf happened to him. We were on equal terms when we started decades ago. Of course, he wasn’t an alcoholic then. It’s like he’s a bitter judge senior citizen and I’m like 30; but I’m not—we are the same age.
Goodness-that was some serious quacking about ventilation. LOL. I'm not sure that I could have held back screaming at him "How 'bout you get off your ass and do it yourself?!". Not always wise to engage. It seems that he really likes to poke at you.
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Old 04-04-2021, 09:28 PM
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Wow no insight whatsoever

This coming from someone who has gaslighted, minimized, invalidated, and mocked my feelings for decades. Now that I’ve been gray or yellow rocking...

”The whole history of this relationship could be written by the fact of you ignoring my emotions.”
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Old 05-03-2021, 11:19 AM
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After AH continuing to poke at me on why I don't want to have a fire in our fire ring on Saturday night, I finally said "Because you're drunk and I don't want to be around it".

AH-no, I'm not drunk.
Me-Yes, you are. You can't even walk straight.
AH-No, I'm not drunk. But if I was, I'd just lie to you about it.

Quack. Quack.
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Old 05-03-2021, 12:27 PM
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I got some good quacking this weekend.

AH: When I figure you out, I'm going to manipulate the crap out of you.

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Old 05-06-2021, 08:42 PM
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I'm laughing here a bit Flower. It is so funny/not-funny. Something to look forward to a suppose
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Old 05-07-2021, 06:38 AM
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I used to enjoy laughing at the 'quacks' and rubbish that A's say posted in this thread. One of my favourite threads.

It was amusing and funny. Now I just find it sick and nasty.

The thread hasn't changed, my outlook has.
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Old 05-07-2021, 07:42 AM
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Right? I think it’s because so many of them lately are actually mean. Not just stupid or nonsensical.

It’s hard to laugh, even in the “laugh so you won’t cry” sense, when you know someone is taking the brunt of these in real life. I suspect 2020 changed our perspective on these sorts of things.
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Old 05-07-2021, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Bekindalways View Post
I'm laughing here a bit Flower. It is so funny/not-funny. Something to look forward to a suppose
Yes, I understand. Funny but not funny. I have to have my sense of humor though. I laugh when I can because it's a way of coping for me.
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Old 05-07-2021, 10:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain View Post
Right? I think it’s because so many of them lately are actually mean. Not just stupid or nonsensical.

It’s hard to laugh, even in the “laugh so you won’t cry” sense, when you know someone is taking the brunt of these in real life. I suspect 2020 changed our perspective on these sorts of things.
Thank you for this, Aries Again. You are right, it is not my outlook that has changed, reality has changed.

The posts in here are often now about brutal and mean behaviours rather than lightweight, silly nonsense ones.
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Old 05-08-2021, 05:32 AM
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Thanks for pointing out the mean and malicious content of some of these quackers.
Silly and non-sensical can be amusing, a good laugh is a healthy thing. But some of
these comments of late are dark and almost maniacal and should never ever be
considered something to "cope with" as they will eventually destroy their target.
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Old 05-09-2021, 03:55 PM
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ok wel sorry to be a bummer.
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Old 05-09-2021, 05:08 PM
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Originally Posted by pizza67 View Post
ok wel sorry to be a bummer.
Pizza, you don’t have to be defensive. We’re empathizing, not criticizing.
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Old 05-10-2021, 12:22 PM
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I don’t know if this is technically a quack, but...
When I realized he was avoiding seeing me in person, I brought it to his attention. Without accusing him of anything, I just said I was processing that we might never physically see each other again after we had completed moving out of our home.

His response? Two texts.
”I think we will.”
“In time.”

🙄
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Old 05-10-2021, 05:52 PM
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Originally Posted by PeacefulWater12 View Post

The posts in here are often now about brutal and mean behaviours rather than lightweight, silly nonsense ones.
Yes, they often are mean.

PW, I'm a bit envious of your breakthrough in the last year or so. I keep hoping that at 58, I will have more lightbulbs go off; however, I'm grateful

Often I look at horrific human behavior a bit like Tich Naght Hahn suggested, "enjoy not having a toothache". I enjoy not having to be around this behavior but for the folks who are still living with their Qualifiers, this doesn't work. Pizza, Flower and others here still have to endure the rooster poop that is life with an alcoholic. Not funny at all.
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