QUACKERs.... Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
I’m the one hurting myself this whole time!
Today I learned that it’s not that he’s done anything that’s hurt me, it’s that I define reality and him by my emotions, which are all negative. Thus, I blame him for all my unhappiness in this relationship....isn’t it amazing? And he adds that he “suffers” and has been the whole relationship.
Isn’t that a neat way to both absolve him from any responsibility and blame me for causing my own pain?
Isn’t that a neat way to both absolve him from any responsibility and blame me for causing my own pain?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
Opening a window is women’s work
I think I should add the letter S for sexist to my current acronym, NADDH (Narcissistic Alcoholic Dry Drunk Husband.”
context: I’m making dinner while his ass sits on the sofa. We both work and although he is considered FT and I PT, I put in the same if not more hours of work plus the house etc.
Me: (opened window while I cook)
NADDH: I’m sensitive to fish smell, do what you can to ventilate.
Me: You can open more windows if you want to.
NADDH (getting up and getting in my space) So I ask for a window to be open because I’m sensitive to fish and you can’t do that?
Me: I’m already cooking dinner. You can do that if you like.
NADDH: Thats who you are I guess, can’t even open a window.
Me: Thats who you are, can’t get up off the sofa to open a window.
NADDH (in my space again). I asked you to do it because I meant you could do something like turn the vent on, but anyway, in the division of labor in this house, you’re responsible for cooking and part of that is to ventilate the window.
https://media.wired.com/photos/59265...aidsTaleTA.jpg
tl;dr: He’s too important to open a window, that’s for menial servants.
context: I’m making dinner while his ass sits on the sofa. We both work and although he is considered FT and I PT, I put in the same if not more hours of work plus the house etc.
Me: (opened window while I cook)
NADDH: I’m sensitive to fish smell, do what you can to ventilate.
Me: You can open more windows if you want to.
NADDH (getting up and getting in my space) So I ask for a window to be open because I’m sensitive to fish and you can’t do that?
Me: I’m already cooking dinner. You can do that if you like.
NADDH: Thats who you are I guess, can’t even open a window.
Me: Thats who you are, can’t get up off the sofa to open a window.
NADDH (in my space again). I asked you to do it because I meant you could do something like turn the vent on, but anyway, in the division of labor in this house, you’re responsible for cooking and part of that is to ventilate the window.
https://media.wired.com/photos/59265...aidsTaleTA.jpg
tl;dr: He’s too important to open a window, that’s for menial servants.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
oh yeah. Idk wtf happened to him. We were on equal terms when we started decades ago. Of course, he wasn’t an alcoholic then. It’s like he’s a bitter judge senior citizen and I’m like 30; but I’m not—we are the same age.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 298
Wow no insight whatsoever
This coming from someone who has gaslighted, minimized, invalidated, and mocked my feelings for decades. Now that I’ve been gray or yellow rocking...
”The whole history of this relationship could be written by the fact of you ignoring my emotions.”
”The whole history of this relationship could be written by the fact of you ignoring my emotions.”
After AH continuing to poke at me on why I don't want to have a fire in our fire ring on Saturday night, I finally said "Because you're drunk and I don't want to be around it".
AH-no, I'm not drunk.
Me-Yes, you are. You can't even walk straight.
AH-No, I'm not drunk. But if I was, I'd just lie to you about it.
Quack. Quack.
AH-no, I'm not drunk.
Me-Yes, you are. You can't even walk straight.
AH-No, I'm not drunk. But if I was, I'd just lie to you about it.
Quack. Quack.
I used to enjoy laughing at the 'quacks' and rubbish that A's say posted in this thread. One of my favourite threads.
It was amusing and funny. Now I just find it sick and nasty.
The thread hasn't changed, my outlook has.
It was amusing and funny. Now I just find it sick and nasty.
The thread hasn't changed, my outlook has.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Northwest
Posts: 4,215
Right? I think it’s because so many of them lately are actually mean. Not just stupid or nonsensical.
It’s hard to laugh, even in the “laugh so you won’t cry” sense, when you know someone is taking the brunt of these in real life. I suspect 2020 changed our perspective on these sorts of things.
It’s hard to laugh, even in the “laugh so you won’t cry” sense, when you know someone is taking the brunt of these in real life. I suspect 2020 changed our perspective on these sorts of things.
Right? I think it’s because so many of them lately are actually mean. Not just stupid or nonsensical.
It’s hard to laugh, even in the “laugh so you won’t cry” sense, when you know someone is taking the brunt of these in real life. I suspect 2020 changed our perspective on these sorts of things.
It’s hard to laugh, even in the “laugh so you won’t cry” sense, when you know someone is taking the brunt of these in real life. I suspect 2020 changed our perspective on these sorts of things.
The posts in here are often now about brutal and mean behaviours rather than lightweight, silly nonsense ones.
Thanks for pointing out the mean and malicious content of some of these quackers.
Silly and non-sensical can be amusing, a good laugh is a healthy thing. But some of
these comments of late are dark and almost maniacal and should never ever be
considered something to "cope with" as they will eventually destroy their target.
Silly and non-sensical can be amusing, a good laugh is a healthy thing. But some of
these comments of late are dark and almost maniacal and should never ever be
considered something to "cope with" as they will eventually destroy their target.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2021
Posts: 334
I don’t know if this is technically a quack, but...
When I realized he was avoiding seeing me in person, I brought it to his attention. Without accusing him of anything, I just said I was processing that we might never physically see each other again after we had completed moving out of our home.
His response? Two texts.
”I think we will.”
“In time.”
🙄
When I realized he was avoiding seeing me in person, I brought it to his attention. Without accusing him of anything, I just said I was processing that we might never physically see each other again after we had completed moving out of our home.
His response? Two texts.
”I think we will.”
“In time.”
🙄
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 8,885
PW, I'm a bit envious of your breakthrough in the last year or so. I keep hoping that at 58, I will have more lightbulbs go off; however, I'm grateful
Often I look at horrific human behavior a bit like Tich Naght Hahn suggested, "enjoy not having a toothache". I enjoy not having to be around this behavior but for the folks who are still living with their Qualifiers, this doesn't work. Pizza, Flower and others here still have to endure the rooster poop that is life with an alcoholic. Not funny at all.
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