LanaBoBana

Hi there,

I filed today Its bitter sweet. My heart hurts but I KNOW it's for the best and most importantly, for the best interest of my children.

Can anyone give me any advice moving forward? My husband is currently being monitored with continuous UA's and is staying with his family members that I trust. He has a serious emotional disconnect from his children especially when he ISN'T drinking. I'm trying to decide if I should allow him to see the kids (monitored, of course). I'm extremely hesitant because my daughter is still very fragile. My lawyers advised that it was up to me. As far as I know, he has been sober for three weeks. I've also scheduled an appointment for her to see a child psychiatrist next week. I hope that helps her poor little heart.

I just don't know if its too soon for him to see them?

Thoughts?

SparkleKitty

It is too soon. Three weeks of not drinking does not equal recovery, and your children need to know they are safe.

aaaDA39

You say you trust the family member he is with. Can you trust them to protect the child mentally if they supervise the visit? No overnights but merely a couple hours. You can do 1 day a week or 2 days a week. I went through this at the beginning of the year.

atalose

Is he asking to see his children? OR is the serious emotional disconnect going on? I would think that if he is not even asking I would not even consider it. I think I’d discuss this with the psychiatrist first and come up with a plan, that’s even if he’s asking to see them.

hopeful4

I am sorry, remind me, age of children?

viola71

I like to put all those questions on the therapist. She has a much better understanding of what damage has been done and she has seen enough in her practice to know what damage may be coming. It also takes me out of the situation. Our go to answer this years been " its been recommended that when seeing your kids you do it with their therapist present, so she can help them process any thoughts or feelings that come up." Then gave my AH the card and said let me know if you decide to schedule an appointment. Voila no follow thru - problem solved, I'm not keeping AH from kids and I am not "the controller" of their relationship.

Mango blast

LanaBoBana,

Thinking of you, today.

Sending thoughts of healing to you and your family.