Saying thank you to recovering As who post here.
 

The most important person in my real life that was supportive of me going no contact with my AH (stbx) is a recovering alcoholic. There was absolutely no bull from her whatsoever. At my worst, I was thinking of calling him, and she said, "if you do that, I'll never talk to you again!" Today she told me that when her addiction was at its worst, her husband told her that if she didn't stop drinking, he would take the kids away and she would never see them again, and she knew he was serious because he never made idle threats. So she stopped drinking. She goes to therapy. She works on herself... and in the past half year, both she and SR have given me the best advice and support. So to all of you recovering As out there who post here with your no bullsh*t advice that's really hard to hear sometimes, thank you for saving my life.

I second that!

I 3rd it. Some of the stuff the recovering A 's have wrote has been the most honest and helpful things I've ever read. :)

Awww, that is such a nice thing to say, OKatz.

Thank you.
I always enjoy reading your thoughtful, insightful posts.

They really are the best. I actually like being told how it is, even if it hurts a lot.

Ophelia and all of you cool folks,

Thank you for letting us in A recovery come on here with you. It’s helped me a great deal, too. At first reading your posts helped me see even more clearly the chaos and damage my drinking and subsequent crazy caused in my relationships.

Then reading here helped me start to delve deeper into the baggage I still carry from my mother’s addiction and death.

Lately, I’ve started to feel that maybe, just maybe, my experiences as an A can possibly be useful in this setting.

So thank you, you’ve helped me a lot and I hope I can help too.

Couldn't agree more Ophelia. In my early recovery, I would post on the new to recovery forum and the women and men were very compassionate and understanding. They definitely told me that I was deserving of more. These people had walked in shoes that my axh walked in so I respected their opinions.

I stayed strong and left. Sadly to say, it was the best thing for me. Hugs my friend and thanks to all of our SOBER A's that respond. We love ya!!

:tyou

Thanks for the kind acknowledgment. This alcoholic has to be in the business of rigorous honesty, and sometimes I wonder how that comes across though I do my best to focus on the "I" and share with the sole intent of helping others.

I'm glad that you have had such IRL and SR support. Best to you.

Yes. Thank you :)

Thanks. It's good to know that our (somewhat dismal ) experiences can be useful.

BB

As a recovering A and as an Al-anoner with my husband being my qualifier, I find it very helpful to read both sides of the situation.

When I was drinking daily I was horrible! No two ways about it. Horrible. In recovery I have changed over the years and now am a kind, compassionate, very gentle person.

I was grateful I drank because it made me look at my life and change things.

As I changed, my husbands reaction to me changed. A lot of his A behaviours have slowly gone as I learnt not to react to them.

I learnt that to be compassionate to us both, I could walk away. Stop playing my role in the "transaction" or "dance".

So as an unexpected bonus of my recovery work, our life became peaceful.

By me putting down the rope and minding my own business and working MY program. Letting go of my husband. Sticking to my personal boundaries.

I was very co-dependent so this was exactly the lesson I needed to learn.

So thank you for all the posts on here. Is enormously helpful to me. We are all on this journey together.