Untreated Codependency - Dont let this happen to you!
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Untreated Codependency - Dont let this happen to you!
I'll call her "Nancy."
Nancy was born during the Great Depression into an alcoholic family out on the Great Plains somewhere.
In the 1940s, she experienced a religious conversion. She met her future husband, who was from an abusive home where he was beaten by his father. He wanted to be a doctor. Instead, he ended up a pastor.
He was a very saintly fellow, and spent his life serving others, especially Nancy.
Fast forward to today. "Nancy" is almost 90 years old and is widowed, living in their big old house all by herself.
She has a lot of time on her hands, and uses it to control others.
With all her religious training and bible knowledge, she has an uncanny ability to convince others that they must follow her advice, and it is all based on the "word of God."
Many famous Christian authors have asked her to endorse books they have written. She enjoys a wide circle of influence. The church she and her husband founded is now a megachurch.
Her daughter lives nearby. Her remaining son moved far away. Another son passed away. Her daughter is left with dutifully trying to help her, and is a periodic target for Nancy's rage. She tells her daughter's sins to anyone who will listen. She also says that she feels sorry for her daughter, who cannot possibly measure up to Nancy's beauty and talent.
Nancy tells sins of just about everyone she knows.
She writes a weekly blog, where she criticizes others who disagree with her. Anyone who tries to confront Nancy about her bad behavior ends up as a subject in her blog.
Nancy is a 90 year old nightmare.
Don't let this happen to YOU!
Nancy was born during the Great Depression into an alcoholic family out on the Great Plains somewhere.
In the 1940s, she experienced a religious conversion. She met her future husband, who was from an abusive home where he was beaten by his father. He wanted to be a doctor. Instead, he ended up a pastor.
He was a very saintly fellow, and spent his life serving others, especially Nancy.
Fast forward to today. "Nancy" is almost 90 years old and is widowed, living in their big old house all by herself.
She has a lot of time on her hands, and uses it to control others.
With all her religious training and bible knowledge, she has an uncanny ability to convince others that they must follow her advice, and it is all based on the "word of God."
Many famous Christian authors have asked her to endorse books they have written. She enjoys a wide circle of influence. The church she and her husband founded is now a megachurch.
Her daughter lives nearby. Her remaining son moved far away. Another son passed away. Her daughter is left with dutifully trying to help her, and is a periodic target for Nancy's rage. She tells her daughter's sins to anyone who will listen. She also says that she feels sorry for her daughter, who cannot possibly measure up to Nancy's beauty and talent.
Nancy tells sins of just about everyone she knows.
She writes a weekly blog, where she criticizes others who disagree with her. Anyone who tries to confront Nancy about her bad behavior ends up as a subject in her blog.
Nancy is a 90 year old nightmare.
Don't let this happen to YOU!
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Southern US
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Being a Christian does NOT mean you are perfect. It means you try to live Christ like. We all fall short, but through the grace of God, we are forgiven.
That being said, Nancy needs to read Matthew 7:4-5 (We call it "plank eye")
How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while there is still a beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
That being said, Nancy needs to read Matthew 7:4-5 (We call it "plank eye")
How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ while there is still a beam in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
I truly believe that untreated codependency like this is far worse than untreated addiction because its a lot harder to identify & call out. Every relationship I have with an unrecovering codie in my life has become the most difficult, contentious relationships to maintain in my world.
That's saying A LOT considering how
- up my husband is.
They take every bit of my recovery personally & while I accept them as they are in their dysfunction; they resist accepting this version of me because it upset the dynamics of our relationship too much - they either have to change/adapt or dig in & regress.
Seems like I heard somewhere that Codies don't handle change well.....
That's saying A LOT considering how
- up my husband is.They take every bit of my recovery personally & while I accept them as they are in their dysfunction; they resist accepting this version of me because it upset the dynamics of our relationship too much - they either have to change/adapt or dig in & regress.
Seems like I heard somewhere that Codies don't handle change well.....
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Join Date: Sep 2014
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Originally Posted by Ladybird579 
I'd love to know who Nancy really is. I've met people like her.
I have, at times, felt like I was fighting for my life just to avoid entangling with her.
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Many thanks to everyone who posted here.
I have had a little time to reflect upon the issues surrounding this person I cant be involved with.
One of the sticky points has to do with forgiveness and what this means. To the Christians who posted or liked here, I thank you. I wanted to present a question for your consideration:
Was the apostle Paul operating in unforgiveness when he mentioned Alexander the Coppersmith (II TIm. 4:14), the one he "turned over to Satan" (I Cor. 5:5), and "Demas, who has loved this....world?" It seems to me that there are incidents in both old and new testament that teach something other than "forgiveness and reconciliation" with some individuals.
I have to admit that the ethics surrounding going "no contact" is a struggle for me.
On the other hand, I am so put out with "Nancy" I don't care very much about the "rightness" of my decision.
Many thanks!
I have had a little time to reflect upon the issues surrounding this person I cant be involved with.
One of the sticky points has to do with forgiveness and what this means. To the Christians who posted or liked here, I thank you. I wanted to present a question for your consideration:
Was the apostle Paul operating in unforgiveness when he mentioned Alexander the Coppersmith (II TIm. 4:14), the one he "turned over to Satan" (I Cor. 5:5), and "Demas, who has loved this....world?" It seems to me that there are incidents in both old and new testament that teach something other than "forgiveness and reconciliation" with some individuals.
I have to admit that the ethics surrounding going "no contact" is a struggle for me.
On the other hand, I am so put out with "Nancy" I don't care very much about the "rightness" of my decision.
Many thanks!
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