Not Sure It Could Get Any Worse!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Not Sure It Could Get Any Worse!
Hi,
Just an update. I am so Fustrated. As you know my XAH listed our family home for sale in September. He did nothing that the realtor requested to make it presentable for sale. He now is 3 mortgage payments behind.
My lawyer told be he'd file a motion on Jan 5th. No motion has been filed. I send him an e-mail on January 9th with all my concerns. I have texted him daily requesting a telephone call. He responded to me finally and stated he'd call me last Friday. No telephone call. I texted him all this week. I didn't hear from him till yesterday. He stated he'd call me Friday.
I call the realtor every 2-3 weeks to check on things. She is a personal friend of my XAH. I called her the beginning of January, and was concerned that temperatures were very cold in our area, and worried that the electricity might go off, and we loose heat and the pipes freeze, knowing my XAH was mostly living with his gf in another state. She informed me that there was an alarm system in the house that monitored the temperature, and would alert my XAH, if the heat went off. I called her back and left a message, stating if it was the same alarm system we had on the house, it never monitored the temperature in the house, and my XAH hadn't used a monitoring company in over 5 years. I asked her to clarify this with my XAH. She never got back to me. The next time I spoke with her, I questioned her and she stayed that that was what he had told her.
I called the realtor yesterday. I wanted to discuss, putting better pictures of the house on the listing. She informed me that the pipes had frozen in the house about 10 days ago! I asked her why I wasn't called. She stated she didn't want to cause me any increased anxiety until they know the extend of the damage. Also stated the heat was still off, plumber coming today. All of a sudden she has 7 people to show the house to, but can't till the damage is fixed. Also she informed me my XAH hadn't had the driveway plowed after the last storm, and now itsza sheet of ice. She's afraid of bringing anyone there in case they fall. So out of the goodness of her heart she's gonna pay to have it sanded. I feel so disrespected!!
My house now will be foreclosed on! It's not in sellable condition! One more missed payment and they foreclose. This is all due to reckless, and irresponsible behavior on my XAH part. The court awarded him the home, and he was responsible for all the expenses.
My lawyer is another story. He told me a lot of things, but hasn't responded to me, or filed any motions. I feel time is of the essence! The house isn't in sellable condition due to my XAH reckless behavior. After I heard about the pipes, I left a VM for my lawyer and asked him please to call me ASAP. No telephone call.
I just don't know what to do. I'm going to loose all the money in the world I have! The judge ordered upon the sale or refinance of the house for me to be given a specific sum of money. Not sure that's gonna happen now. I wonder though, if the court might order my XAH give me that sum of money from his IRA accounts. He has that and more in those acccounts.
I also called another lawyer, that willingly to take my case, but she's very expensive. I just need this all over with!
Not sure what to do!! Thanks for listening!! I'm just so upset! It's never gonna end!
Z
Just an update. I am so Fustrated. As you know my XAH listed our family home for sale in September. He did nothing that the realtor requested to make it presentable for sale. He now is 3 mortgage payments behind.
My lawyer told be he'd file a motion on Jan 5th. No motion has been filed. I send him an e-mail on January 9th with all my concerns. I have texted him daily requesting a telephone call. He responded to me finally and stated he'd call me last Friday. No telephone call. I texted him all this week. I didn't hear from him till yesterday. He stated he'd call me Friday.
I call the realtor every 2-3 weeks to check on things. She is a personal friend of my XAH. I called her the beginning of January, and was concerned that temperatures were very cold in our area, and worried that the electricity might go off, and we loose heat and the pipes freeze, knowing my XAH was mostly living with his gf in another state. She informed me that there was an alarm system in the house that monitored the temperature, and would alert my XAH, if the heat went off. I called her back and left a message, stating if it was the same alarm system we had on the house, it never monitored the temperature in the house, and my XAH hadn't used a monitoring company in over 5 years. I asked her to clarify this with my XAH. She never got back to me. The next time I spoke with her, I questioned her and she stayed that that was what he had told her.
I called the realtor yesterday. I wanted to discuss, putting better pictures of the house on the listing. She informed me that the pipes had frozen in the house about 10 days ago! I asked her why I wasn't called. She stated she didn't want to cause me any increased anxiety until they know the extend of the damage. Also stated the heat was still off, plumber coming today. All of a sudden she has 7 people to show the house to, but can't till the damage is fixed. Also she informed me my XAH hadn't had the driveway plowed after the last storm, and now itsza sheet of ice. She's afraid of bringing anyone there in case they fall. So out of the goodness of her heart she's gonna pay to have it sanded. I feel so disrespected!!
My house now will be foreclosed on! It's not in sellable condition! One more missed payment and they foreclose. This is all due to reckless, and irresponsible behavior on my XAH part. The court awarded him the home, and he was responsible for all the expenses.
My lawyer is another story. He told me a lot of things, but hasn't responded to me, or filed any motions. I feel time is of the essence! The house isn't in sellable condition due to my XAH reckless behavior. After I heard about the pipes, I left a VM for my lawyer and asked him please to call me ASAP. No telephone call.
I just don't know what to do. I'm going to loose all the money in the world I have! The judge ordered upon the sale or refinance of the house for me to be given a specific sum of money. Not sure that's gonna happen now. I wonder though, if the court might order my XAH give me that sum of money from his IRA accounts. He has that and more in those acccounts.
I also called another lawyer, that willingly to take my case, but she's very expensive. I just need this all over with!
Not sure what to do!! Thanks for listening!! I'm just so upset! It's never gonna end!
Z
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Z, your attorney has been really crappy for a long time.
Do you have access to the actual house? It looks like he is letting it go to foreclosure on purpose of course. No surprise there.
I would check around extensively for a different attorney.
Sending huge hugs.
Do you have access to the actual house? It looks like he is letting it go to foreclosure on purpose of course. No surprise there.
I would check around extensively for a different attorney.
Sending huge hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Z, that really sucks and is so unfair.
How much do you know about the potential, expensive lawyer? Any personal referrals? If there is one cliché I've found to be consistently true in life, it's "you get what you pay for". If she can cut through this crap she may be worth the high price.
How much do you know about the potential, expensive lawyer? Any personal referrals? If there is one cliché I've found to be consistently true in life, it's "you get what you pay for". If she can cut through this crap she may be worth the high price.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
i think i would either just park my arse in the waiting room of my attorney's office and demand to be seen.......OR formally firing this one and hiring a new one. problem is Lameass Attorney A has all the paperwork etc, New Hopefully Not Lame Attorney B has to start from scratch. Do you have copies of every judgement and motion?
i'd also cease trying to contact the EX. that ship sailed and then sunk.
i'd also cease trying to contact the EX. that ship sailed and then sunk.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
Zircon.....WOW. You seem to have a lot people of low-level protein, in your Universe.
I'm with Anvil,on this one....
I would attach myself to the new lawyer's waist and do what ever necessary.....
Even if she costs more money...it is better than no money....
( I would, also, ask about what recourse you have for "malpractice" against the former lawyer and the real estate agent....).....
I don't blame you for being upset.....
I'm with Anvil,on this one....
I would attach myself to the new lawyer's waist and do what ever necessary.....
Even if she costs more money...it is better than no money....
( I would, also, ask about what recourse you have for "malpractice" against the former lawyer and the real estate agent....).....
I don't blame you for being upset.....
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Zircon I had the experience of not being responded to by my lawyer at a critical time. If I could have my time again I would report him to the applicable professional body. You may need to do some research to find out which it is, but it will regulate professional standards.
Obviously you need a new emergency lawyer to get action on the house.
Obviously you need a new emergency lawyer to get action on the house.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Zircon,
My suggestion is to pray, with all your heart, frustration and anger. And EXPECT answers to start showing up.
I've lost everything... and found peace and freedom... and more and more and MORE good keeps coming into my life.
I am very sorry you're hurting and going through this. (((Hugs)))
Harness all that hurt and anger and launch it straight at God, if that helps. He can handle it.
Last year I finally was brought into realizing God/Higher Power is a very safe place for releasing anger.
My suggestion is to pray, with all your heart, frustration and anger. And EXPECT answers to start showing up.
I've lost everything... and found peace and freedom... and more and more and MORE good keeps coming into my life.
I am very sorry you're hurting and going through this. (((Hugs)))
Harness all that hurt and anger and launch it straight at God, if that helps. He can handle it.
Last year I finally was brought into realizing God/Higher Power is a very safe place for releasing anger.
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 530
I am so sorry for this! I also had a terrible lawyer. Fortunately I switched and the second one was an improvement, but not as good as I had hoped. It is hard to tell who was good and not so good. I think the only way to tell is the expensive ones are the best- and maybe I should have just picked an expensive one.
Considering how irresponsible your XAH is- it is a blessing to be away from him.
I am still waiting for our home to sell and he is still living there- taking care of it, thank goodness!
I hope maybe the judge will force your XAH to pay you out of his IRA,\.
(((((hugs)))) take care of yourself.
Considering how irresponsible your XAH is- it is a blessing to be away from him.
I am still waiting for our home to sell and he is still living there- taking care of it, thank goodness!
I hope maybe the judge will force your XAH to pay you out of his IRA,\.
(((((hugs)))) take care of yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Hi All
Hi All,
Thank you all for listening to me and your caring and support.
I met with the new lawyer yesterday. I liked her, she appeared to know what she was doing, and feels I have a strong case, but can't give me a lit more information until she stars working on the case. She did tell me, that if I do hire here and give her the huge retainer, and she feels I don't have a case she'll give me the remainder of my money back. She does feel I do have a case.
She also mentioned, which I didn't think of, that I don't just want to take the money from his IRA. If the bank foreclosures on the house, I'm still responsible for and money owed after the house is sold, and they can come after me for any little bit of money I have. She suggested we ask the court to order my XAH to pay off the mortgage with his IRA, and sign over the house to me, then I can sell it, collect my money, lawyer fees, and damages. I didn't know what to say! I just wanted to walk away! I've had enough!
I told the new lawyer I need someone to fight for me, and call me in a timely manner. She told me she would work for me, and if hired would file the motion for contempt by the end of the week. I told her I needed to sleep on it! It's all the money I have. Told her I'd make a decision by today.
I found out also there is extensive damage in my house, the furnance has a crack in it, and at least 23 pipes have cracks, both toilets needed to be pulled from the house. When I spoke to the insurance agent, he informed me that there is a provision on my insurance policy that states if the house is vacant, the home owner must take precautions so the pipes don't freeze by draining the pipes, or putting a system in place so the heat doesn't go off. He's not sure whether the insurance company is going to pay the claim! More bad luck!!
My XAH lied to the insurance adjuster, told him the electric went off. When I called the electric company, there were no outages in the month of January! Also this happened on Jan 2nd, and I wasn't informed until Jan 31.
I think I'm gonna hire the lawyer today. My current lawyer is supposed to call me today. If I was a betting woman, I'd bet on him not calling! If he does call, I'm going to nicely tell him what I think of him, and basically fire him. I will follow it up with an e-mail with specific dates that he promised to call me and never did, promised to file motions and never did, and told me I should be getting my IRA money, when he never send me the paperwork that needed to be completed. I called the company and found out the correct information myself. I'm going to requested my attorney fees be returned to me, or it not I'll report him to the bar, and if I loose my money due to foreclosure because he never filed the motion a month ago, file a civil suit.
Life shouldn't be this hard!
I left my XAH, it'll be 2 years in February, I feared for my safety and had to move x2. I am still dealing with the repercussions!!!
I don't want this to make me a bitter woman! I'm trying to stay positive, but have little faith in the court system! They awarded him the family home, when he had zero income, and couldn't show any income for almost 2 years, and no plan to get a job, gave my XAH 6 months to refinance, or list the house. What was the court thinking!!!!! A man with no income for 2years, can't refinance, and even if he got a job, he'd need more than 6 months of employment to qualify to refinance!! I'm not sure I believe in the court system!! I have lived close to the poverty line, where my XAH has enjoyed living in a comfortable home while destroying it!
Sorry, I'm rambling!! Thank you for listening! I'll let everyone know if my old lawyer calls as promised today.
Take care and thank you all for caring and listening!
Z
Thank you all for listening to me and your caring and support.
I met with the new lawyer yesterday. I liked her, she appeared to know what she was doing, and feels I have a strong case, but can't give me a lit more information until she stars working on the case. She did tell me, that if I do hire here and give her the huge retainer, and she feels I don't have a case she'll give me the remainder of my money back. She does feel I do have a case.
She also mentioned, which I didn't think of, that I don't just want to take the money from his IRA. If the bank foreclosures on the house, I'm still responsible for and money owed after the house is sold, and they can come after me for any little bit of money I have. She suggested we ask the court to order my XAH to pay off the mortgage with his IRA, and sign over the house to me, then I can sell it, collect my money, lawyer fees, and damages. I didn't know what to say! I just wanted to walk away! I've had enough!
I told the new lawyer I need someone to fight for me, and call me in a timely manner. She told me she would work for me, and if hired would file the motion for contempt by the end of the week. I told her I needed to sleep on it! It's all the money I have. Told her I'd make a decision by today.
I found out also there is extensive damage in my house, the furnance has a crack in it, and at least 23 pipes have cracks, both toilets needed to be pulled from the house. When I spoke to the insurance agent, he informed me that there is a provision on my insurance policy that states if the house is vacant, the home owner must take precautions so the pipes don't freeze by draining the pipes, or putting a system in place so the heat doesn't go off. He's not sure whether the insurance company is going to pay the claim! More bad luck!!
My XAH lied to the insurance adjuster, told him the electric went off. When I called the electric company, there were no outages in the month of January! Also this happened on Jan 2nd, and I wasn't informed until Jan 31.
I think I'm gonna hire the lawyer today. My current lawyer is supposed to call me today. If I was a betting woman, I'd bet on him not calling! If he does call, I'm going to nicely tell him what I think of him, and basically fire him. I will follow it up with an e-mail with specific dates that he promised to call me and never did, promised to file motions and never did, and told me I should be getting my IRA money, when he never send me the paperwork that needed to be completed. I called the company and found out the correct information myself. I'm going to requested my attorney fees be returned to me, or it not I'll report him to the bar, and if I loose my money due to foreclosure because he never filed the motion a month ago, file a civil suit.
Life shouldn't be this hard!
I left my XAH, it'll be 2 years in February, I feared for my safety and had to move x2. I am still dealing with the repercussions!!!
I don't want this to make me a bitter woman! I'm trying to stay positive, but have little faith in the court system! They awarded him the family home, when he had zero income, and couldn't show any income for almost 2 years, and no plan to get a job, gave my XAH 6 months to refinance, or list the house. What was the court thinking!!!!! A man with no income for 2years, can't refinance, and even if he got a job, he'd need more than 6 months of employment to qualify to refinance!! I'm not sure I believe in the court system!! I have lived close to the poverty line, where my XAH has enjoyed living in a comfortable home while destroying it!
Sorry, I'm rambling!! Thank you for listening! I'll let everyone know if my old lawyer calls as promised today.
Take care and thank you all for caring and listening!
Z
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 685
Zircon, I really hope you get good representation should you hire the new lawyer. Perhaps she can go after the old lawyer - sue him for the fees you paid since he did such a bad job. And Dandy's idea was good, go after the realtor too because this is bs:
I totally understand you just wanting it over and done with but the lawyer and realtor did not perform and you may be entitled to receive money from them.
What a mess, sorry this is happening. With all the repairs needed in the house, is it worth doing it? Or selling as is?
She informed me that the pipes had frozen in the house about 10 days ago! I asked her why I wasn't called. She stated she didn't want to cause me any increased anxiety until they know the extend of the damage. Also stated the heat was still off, plumber coming today. All of a sudden she has 7 people to show the house to, but can't till the damage is fixed.
What a mess, sorry this is happening. With all the repairs needed in the house, is it worth doing it? Or selling as is?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 52
I think if you are able to swing it financially you would be best off getting current on the mortgage payments and taking control of the house. You might have to give him a payout but then you will be in control of getting the house ready for sale and you would get full payout from the house.
I left the home last July and knew that my ex would more than likely not be able to keep the home. He was insistent on keeping it so I gave him until March to be able to refinance and pay out the equity. I had a clause written in if he got more than 30 days behind I would take over the house and pay him the equity. Well it has already happened, lol. I am working on doing renovations and repairs to get it on the market by March. There is no way that the house would have sold with him living in it, so I understand where you are coming from. I should be in a good spot financially when the this house sells, I know I could never have done it with him being a joint owner.
I would proceed down the path with the new attorney and hopefully she can get you in court soon to get this resolved. Best of luck!
I left the home last July and knew that my ex would more than likely not be able to keep the home. He was insistent on keeping it so I gave him until March to be able to refinance and pay out the equity. I had a clause written in if he got more than 30 days behind I would take over the house and pay him the equity. Well it has already happened, lol. I am working on doing renovations and repairs to get it on the market by March. There is no way that the house would have sold with him living in it, so I understand where you are coming from. I should be in a good spot financially when the this house sells, I know I could never have done it with him being a joint owner.
I would proceed down the path with the new attorney and hopefully she can get you in court soon to get this resolved. Best of luck!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I hate to say this friend, but I would expect the insurance adjuster to do some research on this. Insurance companies HATE vacant properties, and it is correct, you are expected to winterize the home and leave the electricity on. If it was not, an adjuster can find that out very quickly. I work in the field and this is a big issue for people.
I don't say this to make you more upset, but to consider this when making a decision on if you want this house dumped back into your lap or not.
Sending you HUGE hugs.
I don't say this to make you more upset, but to consider this when making a decision on if you want this house dumped back into your lap or not.
Sending you HUGE hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
I would want to see what state it is in and how much it will cost to repair before I agreed to take it as a settlement. My exah totally trashed our house...totally. It was filthy and dangerous and my kids/his family ended up going in to fix it and he sold it and trashed his next one. I have to walk past it and see it now. When he bought it it was a lovely home and now the windows are hanging out, the floors are destroyed with cigarette burns and wine stains and he's ripped out the kitchen and not replaced it and knocked down walls which are still inside in heaps of rubble. The yard is a jungle and full of rubbish and cans. Chances are yours is worse. He may have flooded it .
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Oregon Coast
Posts: 168
What I’ve Learned
I agree, you need a different lawyer. One who will fight FOR you. Let her do the work and worrying for you.
Then, please take care of your precious self digging this stressful time. You left an alcoholic man. That’s huge! You did it!
Each day spend time loving and nurturing yourself. Eat really healthy food. Make sure you get enough sleep. Try to get in a walk every day or even do jumping jacks in the kitchen. Take vitamins. Keep a journal and write about your day and then try to let go of the stress. Spend time with family who love you. With girlfriends.
Life is one stressful thing after another. After this house thing is settled, some new thing will pop up. Love and take care of YOU!
Then, please take care of your precious self digging this stressful time. You left an alcoholic man. That’s huge! You did it!
Each day spend time loving and nurturing yourself. Eat really healthy food. Make sure you get enough sleep. Try to get in a walk every day or even do jumping jacks in the kitchen. Take vitamins. Keep a journal and write about your day and then try to let go of the stress. Spend time with family who love you. With girlfriends.
Life is one stressful thing after another. After this house thing is settled, some new thing will pop up. Love and take care of YOU!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Me Again
Hi,
I just found out what happened at my XAH plea and sentencing hearing. He is guilty of felony assault with a deadly weapon. He received 12 months in jail, that was suspended, but is on probation for 3 years. The court ordered a mental health evaluation be completed within 90 days. Not sure what it all means, but as a felon, o don't think he can have a gun!!
Thank you all!!
Z
By the way my old lawyer never called me @2PM as he told me he would! No big surprise!
I just found out what happened at my XAH plea and sentencing hearing. He is guilty of felony assault with a deadly weapon. He received 12 months in jail, that was suspended, but is on probation for 3 years. The court ordered a mental health evaluation be completed within 90 days. Not sure what it all means, but as a felon, o don't think he can have a gun!!
Thank you all!!
Z
By the way my old lawyer never called me @2PM as he told me he would! No big surprise!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
I am so sorry to see everything you are going through!
I have you in my prayers! Hang in there and you just have to keep doing what you need to to get through.
You got this and are doing all good stuff to get it handled.
Again I am so sorry! Like you haven’t been through enough?! 🙁
Wish I could help!
I have you in my prayers! Hang in there and you just have to keep doing what you need to to get through.
You got this and are doing all good stuff to get it handled.
Again I am so sorry! Like you haven’t been through enough?! 🙁
Wish I could help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Good News!!
Hi,
I hired the new lawyer. She has already started working on my case. My old lawyer never called as he said he would. He did text me that evening stating he got busy! Then he asked for more money to file the motion he stayed x2 he had already done. I nicely shared my concerns about his lack of follow through, saying he done things and haven't. Told him I was going to look for another attorney. He came back and stated I was right and he would do the rest for free. I declined.
Now for the good news!! I got an offer on my house!!! A very good one! It's a full price offer, with a contingency that all the frozen pipe damage is fixed!!
My biggest concern is the insurance company isn't going to pay for the damage, no decision from them yet! And my XAH is behind 3 mortgage payments, and by closing will be behind 4 plus late fees and preforeclosure fees! This will add up to at least 8,000.00, and the pipes could be over 10,000.00. I will consult my new attorney on Monday. I would like to sign the offer, but would like an agreement in place with my XAH that he will pay the cost of the fixing of the pipes, if insurance doesn't pay, and he will deliver a check for whatever the shortage will be for the amount the court ordered I receive upon sale of the house. I'm hoping this can be achieved without going to court. If we go to court it will cost him much more money than not going!!! And we will loose the buyer!!
I'm hoping all will go well!! Nothing has yet!!
Thanks for listening!!
Z
I hired the new lawyer. She has already started working on my case. My old lawyer never called as he said he would. He did text me that evening stating he got busy! Then he asked for more money to file the motion he stayed x2 he had already done. I nicely shared my concerns about his lack of follow through, saying he done things and haven't. Told him I was going to look for another attorney. He came back and stated I was right and he would do the rest for free. I declined.
Now for the good news!! I got an offer on my house!!! A very good one! It's a full price offer, with a contingency that all the frozen pipe damage is fixed!!
My biggest concern is the insurance company isn't going to pay for the damage, no decision from them yet! And my XAH is behind 3 mortgage payments, and by closing will be behind 4 plus late fees and preforeclosure fees! This will add up to at least 8,000.00, and the pipes could be over 10,000.00. I will consult my new attorney on Monday. I would like to sign the offer, but would like an agreement in place with my XAH that he will pay the cost of the fixing of the pipes, if insurance doesn't pay, and he will deliver a check for whatever the shortage will be for the amount the court ordered I receive upon sale of the house. I'm hoping this can be achieved without going to court. If we go to court it will cost him much more money than not going!!! And we will loose the buyer!!
I'm hoping all will go well!! Nothing has yet!!
Thanks for listening!!
Z
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