Bafg

I wrote a post a while ago about whether or not I should buy a home that was being offered beneath market value with my alcoholic h.
I involved his parents to help me get him into outpatient. He agreed and is starting this week.

His behavior has been erratic. He is looking at buying a house just for him since we can't buy this one. He's making little antagonist comments. He told his Dad he wouldn't be surprised if my mom drove my alcoholic father to his death (drinking and driving accident). My mom was hospitalized twice for depression because she dealt with my dad for too long. We got in a fight about this and I told him to never speak about my mom again but he did yesterday although not as severe.

But today he did something I never thought he would do. He opened a new account. He said he doesn't plan on changing the direct deposit info (I stay home with our baby) but his spending makes me think otherwise. He paid a large sum to a CC. He wanted to "remind me" what his options are.

He's directing all of his anger at me. I finally told him he needs to go find a place to live while he's working on himself. I'm nervous because he hasn't even given me a heads up so I can get on my own two feet. I never thought he would do this. I feel fear everytime I'm around him now. Thank God I have a supportive family.

Any advice or words of strength would be appreciated.

Mango blast

Prayer: Help!

Prayer: Thank you.

Prayer: Please give me eyes to see, ears to hear and strength to embrace the illogical.

I'm sorry this is happening. The anger, pain, toxic behaviors are all illogical. Everything about this disease, recovery (even our own), and LIFE... even the beauty in it, is illogical. So again and again this prayer helps in seeing things more clearly and the strength to embrace that.

I suggest getting to an Alanon meeting for face-to-face support. This can be super valuable in gaining inner strength. You are stronger than you realize. (((Hugs)))

Recognize you are not currently dealing with your husband... this is not personal. It is the disease of alcoholism showing you things that need to be seen in order to protect yourself and your child.

If he goes into a "nice" phase... that's not to be trusted... it is a common tactic of the disease and may take some time to show up.

Mango blast

There is fear that has the acronym of False Evidence Appearing Real.

There also is fear that's very HEALTHY and is asking to be listened to. This sounds very much like what you have in your corner.

A domestic abuse help center can be invaluable for help, support, counseling and resources. The ones I've made use of never told me what to do. They empowered me and helped me see things that were beyond the scope of my limited vision... having a big, strong support network helps immensely with not only getting through this, but also recovering from the trauma of this.

Learning14

Take care of yourself and your child.

He's obviously going to take care of himself with or without you in the picture.

hopeful4

This sounds like a plan. So now you have to make your own plans. Go forward and protect yourself and your baby.

Sending you huge hugs.

53500

This sure does sound like he will change the direct deposit and cut off your access. Prepare for this. Get on your own two feet. Consider opening your own account and set some money aside. See a lawyer and find out how to protect yourself. Hopefully it won't come to fighting him for money but better to be prepared than blindsided.

Sending you prayer & support..

dandylion

Bafg...I, personally, think that it is a really good idea for him to live elsewhere when he finishes rehab.....I think that everybody would benefit from that!

Now would be a good time to find out what your rights are...(as well as his)....even though you have a supportive family.....

The following link might help you to organize your thoughts and know what to ask a lawyer..it is very educational in nature...And...it is arranged by state....

www.womansdivorce.com