Mango blast

Just because I'm in recovery and doing well today... relatively... considering some of the deep, hurtful emotions that have raged out of me...

It doesn't matter WHY this disconnect, discord and unrest is still within me...

It is enough to have the awareness of it.

I don't want anyone to touch me.

I don't want to be touched.

I want to protect myself by any means possible... and this is one that helps me feel safe.

So, just for today... I'm going to take time away...

From these problems...

https://youtu.be/0u8gHxKxQc8

Mango blast

Past experience shows me how grounding and healing physical contact can be... a handshake or hug from others in Alanon or after yoga class...

massage therapy...

giving myself a foot massage.

Yesterday was a different experience of recognizing how deeply I had an aversion to any touch and honoring that in new ways.

Today seems transitional. A bit of it lingering. Not nearly as strong.

I'm considering a Reiki session later this week.

Mango blast

I haven't done ThinkUp app for a while. I clicked on one I recorded, and listening to it I hate the sound of my own voice. I didn't have this reaction last time I listened to it, so again... more awareness of layers bubbling up.

Looking forward when my deep layers reflect the healed healthy me!!!