Cosima11

My friend has been living with his mom, taking care of his younger sisters (one is disabled so he is paid for this).. His mom has her own issues, is probably an alcoholic herself but doesn't appear to acknowledge it.. She has pushed him into this caretaker role where he is literally responsible for things she seems incapable or unwilling to do herself. This has been going on for nearly a decade and the dynamics are pretty upsetting to see from the outside. It's all super co-dependent and I'm angry about the whole thing really. He is very, very sick... to the point where detox could be very physically dangerous for him.

Anyway long story short, his mom has decided she's not making enough money on her own and now needs help from her ex-husband, who will be moving in soon so he needs to leave.

He has a "plan" but it does not include sobriety or getting help and I'm scared for him. I know there is literally nothing I can do but I guess just needed to vent. Thanks for reading

FeelingGreat

Hi, possibly the move away from the horrible domestic situation will help your friend gain some perspective.
You can't control him but you may want to tell him you're concerned if you haven't already.
I was in a similar situation watching my A sister turn her life into a disaster with consequences still causing her pain 10 years later. She wouldn't listen to anyone.

Cosima11

Yes, I'm hoping it will be some sort of wake up call but my gut feeling is that things are going to spiral further out of control for him.

We were childhood friends, kind of grew up together and I basically consider him family. He knows I'm concerned and knows how serious his situation is. He shakes in the mornings without drinking and the last time he tried to detox said he was hearing voices for a couple days.. sooo something serious and drastic needs to happen but now he is in survival mode and getting sober is probably the last thing on his list.

I'm early in recovery myself so I'm in no position to preach at him, but hope setting an example will count for something..

Learning14

I wouldn't preach or try to assist him in anyway right now. Your recovery matters too much to be put in jeopardy with his issues.

I applaud you for keeping with your recovery.

FeelingGreat

If you make a success of your recovery (as I have so far, nearly 6 years) that will be probably the best you can do. I saw someone else stop drinking and that inspired me, and I've also inspired others to consider sobriety. None have gone the full course, but some heavy drinkers I know have cut down.