atalose

That's what I read to, sorry if my post jumped to conclusions based on what you shared.

Work your recovery; get emotionally stronger, work on healthier ways to deal with her triggering you.

DreamCatcher17

Great, I will work up a different letter to send her. I appreciate the advice you gave and the acknowledgment to my sobriety, actually 4 months tomorrow.

SmallButMighty

Congrats on your sobriety, I wish you all the luck with your recovery.

I used to write letters. I wanted to be heard AND I knew I couldn't say it all without getting emotional and/or forgetting a lot of what I felt I had every right to say. Several of my letters were directed at people with varying substance abuse issues. In my situations everything always got worse after sending these letters. I had expectations about what would be accomplished by my saying what I felt I needed to say. Never, not once did I get the outcome I thought I would. Again, I acknowledge this as my own experience. I hope for your sake you have a more positive outcome.

Of course we don't know your entire back-story with your mother and I don't want to speculate, so I am just putting this out there for you to consider, I'm not asking you to share your answer.... But , do you think it's possible she leaves her belongings with you as a means of control? If so, you may want to pack that car up, drive it to her doorstep and hop a plane home. I mean that in a very honest and respectful way as someone who has been held hostage by other peoples belongs.

Hang in there, you are doing great putting yourself and your son first. Keep avoiding those triggers.

DreamCatcher17

Thank you, everyone, for the replies, advice, and stores actually shared. I do appreciate the advice. While I may not be doing something you approve of, that is OK, you don't have to approve of what I am doing. You have not been in my shoes and don't know where I am at in this situation. This is not about getting my way. I honestly wanted feedback on the letter, the consensus was to not send one, that it would be pointless, useless, waste of time, that I should focus on my side of the street, let it be and move on. While all that is great, in my heart I can not just NOT send it. I can't not voice my feelings, concerns, and hope for her. How she takes it is not within my control nor what she does with it. But knowing I sent it, got it out there because she has no one to tell it to her straight rather keep her in her addiction. I will feel relief, chapter closed in a sense. It is almost like the show intervention, everyone sitting there reading the letters, well this is mine. It may not be in an intervention fashion, or in person, but the door can either close or open if she decides for herself enough is enough. I liked the advice on a timeline to grab her stuff, I will include that in the letter since she does live so far away, I will give her until the summer when there is no snow she would have to drive through if the time is not met, I will be able to donate all her things and shell have to figure out her car situation as I can't do a thing about it.

I do apologize to anyone who felt I was being combative, that wasn't my intention. I can understand how things could get mangled while not knowing more about the situation, I didn't feel that was necessary as the point was the letter. Maybe that is my fault and I should have written a long-winded post to include more details, but I didn't.

Have a wonderful day

I will revisit this post at a later date to digest more of the concerns (SEH) that were expressed to see if I have different feelings on writing the letter or another approach.

greeteachday

And done. To the long time members getting upset and angry at new members who don't immediately do it your way, please walk away or use the ignore button, not comment in anger.