I'm at a loss

Old 01-19-2018, 02:34 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Mrswoo.....good for you. Return his "favor"...and, block him, also.
Stay strong!!!!
Please keep posting and reading.....
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Old 01-19-2018, 03:43 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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He’s pulling your chain. Feeding off your reactions. He’s miserable so he’ll make damn sure you are too.
Trust me..,get out whilst you can it only gets worse.
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Old 01-19-2018, 04:35 AM
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I returned the block.

He's unblocked me again almost right away.
His last message was "why won't you help me. I'd walk a million miles for you"

Well thats a lie since he said he can't even walk to see gp.

I hate that I'm turning this into a "slag him off" thread. But I really am at the end of my tether.

His previous comment before the above was " I hope you die" and "you cow"
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Old 01-19-2018, 04:39 AM
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Mrswoo, I hope that you can stay out from under this unhealthy relationship, and I hope that you can work towards a life where you can show all the adoration and affection you need towards yourself. Romantic relationships can be nice, but without a solid, loving relationship with ourselves first—yes, no matter the number on the scale—we won’t ever really find fulfillment,
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Old 01-19-2018, 04:48 AM
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Mrs Woo, having someone say they adore you is addictive, but you're not stupid, you can see what he's doing. Doesn't stop you liking the good bits though.

There is a life out there for you. You've had one setback, but there are plenty of nice people who you can make connections with, not just men.

Take it easy, get back to the healthy eating, and try and find some interesting things you can do so your mind isn't always brooding on him.
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Old 01-19-2018, 05:08 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mrswoo View Post
His previous comment before the above was " I hope you die" and "you cow"
Good grief - that right there is enough evidence to end this thing once and for all. Wow, just wow.

Please be good to yourself, MrsWoo - you deserve that much. You don't deserve ANY of the crap he's spewing out of that addicted mouth.
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Old 01-19-2018, 06:45 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Hi, Mrswoo,
You havegotten lots of good advice here, and I feel like you are listening to it.
Now...final step.
Block him.
Do not text to see how he is, or if he is still alive.
Do not look at his sad or nasty texts.
He is not a nice man to you, and he will keep on being not nice until you change it up.
Think of it as closing the door and bolting it.
Kick his sorry ass to the curb, yeah?
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Old 01-19-2018, 08:17 AM
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Hello!

Lady, you just asked someone to send you a picture of a soiled bed... what does that tell you about the state of this relationship? It seems like the both of you are feeding off each other with the ping-pong of messages. Why engage with this person? By what you describe we can tell that this person isnt ready to get well. The other thing is that abuse has nothing to do with alcoholism.

If you really love this person the best thing you can do for them is leave them and block them and never look back. Hopefully this will help him realize the state of his life. You are NOT his savior!!! Get off this horrible nightmare. This is the only life that you have, do you really want to spend it like this?
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Old 01-19-2018, 08:26 AM
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You only have six or seven months invested in this “relationship.” End it before you are brainwashed even more. If you stay here and I hope you will, you will find so many stories just like yours where people have been held hostage for years and years by the addict they care for, trying to love them to health.

It doesn’t work. It just ruins two lives instead of one.

100 lbs or 1000, you are fundamentally worthy of respect and kindness. He gives you neither.

Turn your back and walk away.

Sending you a hug.
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Old 01-19-2018, 12:03 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Mrswoo View Post
I hate that I'm turning this into a "slag him off" thread. But I really am at the end of my tether.
Perhaps you see it as slagging him but I don't. Aside from a few tiny comments, all I've seen are facts.

No one needs to slag him off, he does that all very well by himself.

He sends you a text saying he soiled his bed - what the hell!!!!

You have very little money this month and he wants a third of it.

He has hit you!

He calls you names? Who the hell does that? Is he a man or a 5 year old?

Well we could give him a break. Aside from being somewhat charming to start with, what exactly are his good points - right now?
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Old 01-19-2018, 12:13 PM
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Well done on blocking him!

You deserve a much better person for a partner.
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Old 02-10-2018, 11:40 AM
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I haven't been on in a while.
You can guess why.
I fell for the charm and got back with him.

I got him to the gp, and things where going well.
I found out he was still on dating sites talking to other women, so called him out on it.
So tuesday I ended up at the police station reporting him for violence. He tried to scoop my eyes out of my head with his fingers.
He threatened to rape me, and I thought he was serious. Then he laughed and said he wasnt even hard.
He tried to choke me, and pulled my head so far back he said "i could snap your neck you know"

The police wont accept my "drunk" statement, yet are not forthcoming in getting me in when I'm available to make another due to work commitments.

In the mean time, hes apologised, said he loves me, but has run off to blackpool area to be with another oman from a dating site. I got her number (dont ask how, I fear I'd get into trouble) and have warned her, but she believes him.
He told her I'm nuts.

Why am I more angry at him being with someone else than what he did to me?

I must deserve it for going back.
I'm at my wits end and have nobody to talk to.
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Old 02-10-2018, 03:36 PM
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i hope you are now staying FAR FAR away from this man?????
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Old 02-11-2018, 03:37 AM
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Mrs Woo, it is a very dangerous sign when someone puts their hands around your neck as it can be a precursor to a much more serious attack.

Please google a domestic violence help line and talk to them. They will tell you why you should be very careful and they'll also help you put all this in perspective.

This guy knows he only has to spin you a line, tell you he loves you and you will cave. How many times do you think he's used that line about preferring larger women? He probably deliberately targets women who have problems with their body image.
Can you please block him again and leave him blocked? He has physically attacked you and it's very dangerous for you now.
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Old 02-11-2018, 04:11 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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I returned the block.

He's unblocked me again almost right away.


How would you know that unless you unblocked him? Please heed what op are saying. This man is very dangerous. You have warned his new girlfriend and it is not your responsibility what happens to her or to him. Please, please do not contact him anymore. He does not love you. Love is not abusive.
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Old 02-11-2018, 05:01 AM
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Originally Posted by Mrswoo View Post
Why am I more angry at him being with someone else than what he did to me?
Because at the moment, you have a very unhealthy idea of what love is and what it feels like. That's okay, a lot of us struggled with this and learned that until we began to treat ourselves with the love and respect we deserved, we'd settle for relationships where our partner didn't either.

But your SAFETY is paramount here, Mrswoo. Don't wait for the police to get back to you about your statement, go down there and give it to them. Keep him blocked, and stop checking up on whatever he is doing. The less you feed this beast, the less power it will have over you.
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