Jes1717

My boyfriend has been sober since Christmas after 20 years of drinking. This is the first time he's been serious about quitting. He's been in recovery programs before but they were court mandated. This time an Emergency room doctor told him that his liver was on the verge of failing. I've only known him a year, We were set up on a blind date by friends and hit it off. I love him. I'm nervous though, that by giving him the space he needs to deal with the pain of recovery that I'm not showing him any support. Then when I do try to talk to him I feel like I'm forcing him to do so. Do I just let him come to me?

FeelingGreat

Hi Jes, are you still seeing him? It would probably be sensible to say to him that you won't interfere but if he feels he needs some moral support, you're there for him. Then leave it at that.

Jes1717

Yea im still seeing him. Thank you.

dandylion

Jes....the kind of support that he needs, right now is better done by his peers in AA and his sponsor and his doctor and counselor/therapist.....
He is likely to resent you, anyway, if you hover over him and try to "help him.....
I would listen to FeelingGreat...he knows what he is talking about.....

atalose

I think one of the things you need to keep in mind is the fact that you have dated an active alcoholic for a year and now you are dating someone abstaining from alcohol for roughly 30 days. You really do not even know this sober person.

Usually what’s really going on is your own insecurity and fear that the relationship might come to an end.

I agree, give him his space, control your fears and be there for when and if he asks for your moral support.