Success Stories
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 4
Success Stories
I've seen a lot of stories around people leaving their alcoholic significant other and how it was the right thing. I haven't seen any stories where the alcoholic actually decided to quit and get sober and stick with it. Is it because people don't come back here once that happens to share or it is really unlikely that it will happen?
Would love to hear people's stories on how their significant other actually beat this damn thing?
Would love to hear people's stories on how their significant other actually beat this damn thing?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,637
Hi jo and welcome!
It's a fairly common topic in this forum actually, here are a few threads you might want to look at, some of them are a year or two old so you might want to keep posting here in your thread rather than replying in those:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (To all ex addicts - I’d love to hear your success stories!)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Wanting to hear some success stories)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...epressing.html (Success stories seem few and far between- depressing)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (success stories?)
It's a fairly common topic in this forum actually, here are a few threads you might want to look at, some of them are a year or two old so you might want to keep posting here in your thread rather than replying in those:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Success stories?)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (To all ex addicts - I’d love to hear your success stories!)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (Wanting to hear some success stories)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...epressing.html (Success stories seem few and far between- depressing)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...s-stories.html (success stories?)
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
seattlejo.....there are millions of people in AA...worldwide that are living their lives sober.....
There are, also. millions of alcoholics who are still drinking and not in any kind of recovery.....
There are a few posters on this current forum that are recovering alcoholics....who also have a loved one that is an alcoholic....
For the most part, though, I don't think you will find a lot of people who seek out a forum, like this one, to talk about how well things are going.....
You might go to some Speakers Meetings, of AA...where you will get a view of what recovery looks like for the alcoholic...and, to verify, that, yes, there are people in recovery that lead good sober lives.....
On the other hand....there are tons of stories, on this particular forum...of loved ones who are in their own recovery.....
The partners usually need as much help as the alcoholic...as it effects everyone that loves the alcoholic....
There are, also. millions of alcoholics who are still drinking and not in any kind of recovery.....
There are a few posters on this current forum that are recovering alcoholics....who also have a loved one that is an alcoholic....
For the most part, though, I don't think you will find a lot of people who seek out a forum, like this one, to talk about how well things are going.....
You might go to some Speakers Meetings, of AA...where you will get a view of what recovery looks like for the alcoholic...and, to verify, that, yes, there are people in recovery that lead good sober lives.....
On the other hand....there are tons of stories, on this particular forum...of loved ones who are in their own recovery.....
The partners usually need as much help as the alcoholic...as it effects everyone that loves the alcoholic....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 356
We're 15 months out from my H quitting for reals this time. We've been together for almost 16 years and he has been an alcoholic for many more years than that except I did not really see it for what it was. He had stopped many times on his own but it never lasted long usually. No one (and i mean no one other than me) knew about it until I confronted him 15 months ago because I was done. It had gotten really out of contrôle and I was at a point where i was ready to walk out unless he sought treatment and it was no longer a secret. That caught his attention (he said semi recently that he was getting to the point where is felt like he needed to do something but just couldn't pull the trigger on his own so to speak ). Due to his profession he ended up being sent to manadatory rehab for 90 days and he will be followed closely for 5 years. We didn't think he needed rehab but once he went there we realized that not only did he need rehab but he needed to everyone of those 90 days. He did the 90 meetings in 90 days after rehab (he did more than that and still goes pretty regularly) . So sobriety wise he is doing really well and states he never wants to go aback to drinking. He has had a rough year with not only out marriage which isn't in good shape at all but also the death of his father, his sponsor and a collègue/close friend in the past 6 months. He has managed to survive all of that without hitting the bottle.
As to why I'm here since he is doing so well.....all those years of putting up with his ways, especially the last half of our marriage, really took a toll on me emotionally. 3.5 years ago things had gotten pretty bad (he had drove home completely wasted) but he wanted to try and quit on his own one last time and I let him (I did suggest treatment) . He quit for a year but it was still a secret and he got no treatment so still the same miserable person. When he started drinking again I decided I was not gonna say anything and just see where it would go because otherwise we would continue the same cycle. I still feel like I am de th she right decision but it came at a huge cost. I really detached from him once he started drinking again and once I confronted him almost exactly a year later I was at at point where I was ready to walk out and I had never been at that point. So now he is sober and we should be happy. But I'm not. I came to realize that I obviously have a lot of issues myself which allowed for us to be the perfect couple as far as his alcoholism was concerned. So I also needed to change, which I'm working on. Problem is, H is sober and ready to move forward because he had always been too drunk to worry his feeling changing for me. Me on the other hand , my feelings did change for him those last couple of years and I'm not sure I will come back from that despite the fact that he has done what I wanted him to do. He's changed for the better and I should be happy about that. I am for my kid but not for me,. I gave him one last chance but I also did not have any clue about what that actually meant. I figured h quite drinking and all is well. Now I know better and how we both had to change and honestly rehab was very rough on us and made things even worse between us to the point where I quit talking to him after 5'or 6 weeks unless I had to regarding practicalities.
I do counseling and marriage counseling. I talk to my fiends but they don't really understand it. I was on another forum that had many other topics beside recovery and he knew I was generally on there and recognized our story so then I was concerned about doing anything online related until I found this a few weeks ago.
So I guess it is a success story as far as his sobriety is concerned, relationship wise we're along ways away from succès . I guess I was sort of hoping to find people in similar situations as my own (now sober H but not sure about the relationship working out despite that) because I feel like a jerk for not being able to move forward now that he is sober.
I have not started my own post because I'm still a little apprehensive in case he happens to come around here as well, so I've only participated in threads so far.
As to why I'm here since he is doing so well.....all those years of putting up with his ways, especially the last half of our marriage, really took a toll on me emotionally. 3.5 years ago things had gotten pretty bad (he had drove home completely wasted) but he wanted to try and quit on his own one last time and I let him (I did suggest treatment) . He quit for a year but it was still a secret and he got no treatment so still the same miserable person. When he started drinking again I decided I was not gonna say anything and just see where it would go because otherwise we would continue the same cycle. I still feel like I am de th she right decision but it came at a huge cost. I really detached from him once he started drinking again and once I confronted him almost exactly a year later I was at at point where I was ready to walk out and I had never been at that point. So now he is sober and we should be happy. But I'm not. I came to realize that I obviously have a lot of issues myself which allowed for us to be the perfect couple as far as his alcoholism was concerned. So I also needed to change, which I'm working on. Problem is, H is sober and ready to move forward because he had always been too drunk to worry his feeling changing for me. Me on the other hand , my feelings did change for him those last couple of years and I'm not sure I will come back from that despite the fact that he has done what I wanted him to do. He's changed for the better and I should be happy about that. I am for my kid but not for me,. I gave him one last chance but I also did not have any clue about what that actually meant. I figured h quite drinking and all is well. Now I know better and how we both had to change and honestly rehab was very rough on us and made things even worse between us to the point where I quit talking to him after 5'or 6 weeks unless I had to regarding practicalities.
I do counseling and marriage counseling. I talk to my fiends but they don't really understand it. I was on another forum that had many other topics beside recovery and he knew I was generally on there and recognized our story so then I was concerned about doing anything online related until I found this a few weeks ago.
So I guess it is a success story as far as his sobriety is concerned, relationship wise we're along ways away from succès . I guess I was sort of hoping to find people in similar situations as my own (now sober H but not sure about the relationship working out despite that) because I feel like a jerk for not being able to move forward now that he is sober.
I have not started my own post because I'm still a little apprehensive in case he happens to come around here as well, so I've only participated in threads so far.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
(((((Sleepyhollo)))))
What you're feeling, what you're experiencing is VERY NORMAL.
Dealing with alcoholism is very traumatic, whether we recognize it at the time or not. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. As we search for our own recovery, it is FOUND.
Seattlejo, welcome to SR!
Alcoholism, recovery and life itself is very counter-intuitive to what logic and my upbringing had me think.
My husband is now, currently, in the best recovery I've seen in his journey through this... and I'm very grateful for my own recovery from this family disease of alcoholism ... it really does effect all in the vicinity.
What you're feeling, what you're experiencing is VERY NORMAL.
Dealing with alcoholism is very traumatic, whether we recognize it at the time or not. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. As we search for our own recovery, it is FOUND.
Seattlejo, welcome to SR!
Alcoholism, recovery and life itself is very counter-intuitive to what logic and my upbringing had me think.
My husband is now, currently, in the best recovery I've seen in his journey through this... and I'm very grateful for my own recovery from this family disease of alcoholism ... it really does effect all in the vicinity.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
Posts: 123
Success in different degrees
Originally Posted by Sleepyhollo 
Now I know better and how we both had to change and honestly rehab was very rough on us and made things even worse between us to the point where I quit talking to him after 5'or 6 weeks unless I had to regarding practicalities.
I guess I was sort of hoping to find people in similar situations as my own (now sober H but not sure about the relationship working out despite that) because I feel like a jerk for not being able to move forward now that he is sober.
I guess I was sort of hoping to find people in similar situations as my own (now sober H but not sure about the relationship working out despite that) because I feel like a jerk for not being able to move forward now that he is sober.
I am in the same boat. Rehab/Treatment has made things worse for me too and I am trying to quit talking to him because it always ends up in an upset. I had expectations about him being sober and now I see they are unrealistic. It is an utterly heartbreaking realization. Yours being sober is a success story, it's just now it might be our time to get sober/emotionally sober- because when I was in it, I was in it and not there is so much wreckage to clean up. Thanks~
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 994
So now he is sober and we should be happy. But I'm not. I came to realize that I obviously have a lot of issues myself which allowed for us to be the perfect couple as far as his alcoholism was concerned. So I also needed to change, which I'm working on. Problem is, H is sober and ready to move forward because he had always been too drunk to worry his feeling changing for me. Me on the other hand , my feelings did change for him those last couple of years and I'm not sure I will come back from that despite the fact that he has done what I wanted him to do
I get this. Even if my exah had become sober too much had been done and said for me to feel the same way towards him. He killed all my feelings for him and they never came back. Don't feel a jerk cos he did this, not you. They cause havoc, are not there for us at all, can be verbally abusive, drain the money, wreck the house and say oh am all better now. Lets forget the last 20 years I put you through hell. It isn't that simple is it?
I get this. Even if my exah had become sober too much had been done and said for me to feel the same way towards him. He killed all my feelings for him and they never came back. Don't feel a jerk cos he did this, not you. They cause havoc, are not there for us at all, can be verbally abusive, drain the money, wreck the house and say oh am all better now. Lets forget the last 20 years I put you through hell. It isn't that simple is it?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 196
I remember going to an Al-Anon in West Seattle back in 2007 when I was first married, and there was one woman who had a husband who had a success story. I understand that it is not easy to find a success story. I went to Al-Anon more when my husband was relapsing.
My husband and I went to a AA/Al-Anon meeting in Queen Anne (Seattle). That was interesting. We live in a town 3 hours from Seattle now I know my husband went to a lot of AA meetings in the current town that we live.
He has been sober since sometime after his 2nd DUI which was in the first couple of months of 2013. Honestly, I do not feel like we are completely a success story. We went through a lot. I filed for divorce twice (in 2007 and 2013), and both divorces timed out.
I am very thankful though. He is the love of my life. But I would like to put a disclaimer here. If he had not gotten sober, we would no longer be together. As well, if you looked at all of the guys that I had dated in my life which is on two hands and the guys that I have been intimate which is one hand, he is the love of my life.
I am Rebecca from This is Us. There might be a Miguel out there for me. I am really hoping that my husband will not relapse again. But honestly, he could relapse and be triggered at any time. I think a lot of people are debating how Jack from This is Us will die. Will it be alcohol related? Will it be the dog and a fire? I did love the rehab family therapy session from this past Tuesday's show. There were a lot of dynamics in that family. I loved the No Fly zone comment.
It is also personal whether people come back to this website. I took a break from this website five years ago. It was my darkest hour. I did need support from the right people. I had to keep positive people in my life.
It is five years later. I hope that we can be Jack and Rebecca (hopefully without Jack's death). My kids were very young five years ago. My kids are now 5 years old and 7 years old. They do not know that their dad is a recovered/recovering alcoholic. They adore their dad. He is a fun dad who loves to play with them and takes them to school as well as other activities such as swimming, soccer, boy scouts, etc.
I remember explaining to my kids when their dad was going through a trial for his 2nd DUI, "Daddy got a Time Out." We lucked out. He spent one night in jail. He served out his sentence at his parent's house. He had something on his ankle and the machine that he has to blow into on his car. I kicked my husband off my insurance. It has been healthy for our family to have small successes. When he got the ankle thing off, it was like great, my husband did it and served his sentence. It is five years later with his sobriety which is another small success. Even better, my husband has kept his part-time job which he works from home and he has not gotten fired--Yeah another small success. Okay so the divorce timed out and was a failure--we could not negotiate a parenting plan, but this was a small success for our marriage because both of us knew that our kids needed both of in their life and deep down both of needed each other in our lives.
It really puts you through a lot in your life. Before this happened to me, I did not have the best record for keeping a job for a long time. It will be employed now at my company this June for 15 years. I had no choice. I did not have room to mess up at my job, and I had to make good choices in my life.
I have also chosen to never drink again socially. I have never been drunk myself. I have been buzzed. It was a social thing. I have changed. I have kids now. I am a different person. This a small success in my life because it is positive influence in my husband and my kids lives.
My husband and I went to a AA/Al-Anon meeting in Queen Anne (Seattle). That was interesting. We live in a town 3 hours from Seattle now I know my husband went to a lot of AA meetings in the current town that we live.
He has been sober since sometime after his 2nd DUI which was in the first couple of months of 2013. Honestly, I do not feel like we are completely a success story. We went through a lot. I filed for divorce twice (in 2007 and 2013), and both divorces timed out.
I am very thankful though. He is the love of my life. But I would like to put a disclaimer here. If he had not gotten sober, we would no longer be together. As well, if you looked at all of the guys that I had dated in my life which is on two hands and the guys that I have been intimate which is one hand, he is the love of my life.
I am Rebecca from This is Us. There might be a Miguel out there for me. I am really hoping that my husband will not relapse again. But honestly, he could relapse and be triggered at any time. I think a lot of people are debating how Jack from This is Us will die. Will it be alcohol related? Will it be the dog and a fire? I did love the rehab family therapy session from this past Tuesday's show. There were a lot of dynamics in that family. I loved the No Fly zone comment.
It is also personal whether people come back to this website. I took a break from this website five years ago. It was my darkest hour. I did need support from the right people. I had to keep positive people in my life.
It is five years later. I hope that we can be Jack and Rebecca (hopefully without Jack's death). My kids were very young five years ago. My kids are now 5 years old and 7 years old. They do not know that their dad is a recovered/recovering alcoholic. They adore their dad. He is a fun dad who loves to play with them and takes them to school as well as other activities such as swimming, soccer, boy scouts, etc.
I remember explaining to my kids when their dad was going through a trial for his 2nd DUI, "Daddy got a Time Out." We lucked out. He spent one night in jail. He served out his sentence at his parent's house. He had something on his ankle and the machine that he has to blow into on his car. I kicked my husband off my insurance. It has been healthy for our family to have small successes. When he got the ankle thing off, it was like great, my husband did it and served his sentence. It is five years later with his sobriety which is another small success. Even better, my husband has kept his part-time job which he works from home and he has not gotten fired--Yeah another small success. Okay so the divorce timed out and was a failure--we could not negotiate a parenting plan, but this was a small success for our marriage because both of us knew that our kids needed both of in their life and deep down both of needed each other in our lives.
It really puts you through a lot in your life. Before this happened to me, I did not have the best record for keeping a job for a long time. It will be employed now at my company this June for 15 years. I had no choice. I did not have room to mess up at my job, and I had to make good choices in my life.
I have also chosen to never drink again socially. I have never been drunk myself. I have been buzzed. It was a social thing. I have changed. I have kids now. I am a different person. This a small success in my life because it is positive influence in my husband and my kids lives.
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