Does It Ever Really End?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 299
Does It Ever Really End?
Hi,
I hope all had a wonderful holiday and New Year!
It seems like when you're just settling in, and trying to find some peace, bam! You're hit again with something your XAH has done that effects your life!
Our home was awarded to my XAH, he was responsible for all expenses. He had 6 months to refinance or list it for sale. Since he wasn't held a job in almost 2 years, it was listed for sale in September. The court ordered him to give me a set amount of money upon refinance or sale of the home. Well, my XAH is now behind 2 mortgage payments. Also missed his truck payment last month. Both of those loans are in my name as well. He's paying all his other bills, but not the ones in mine and his! He is purposely letting the house be foreclosed on, so I don't get anything and ruining my credit. I have texted my lawyer to see what our next move should be, with no response. My XAH, has the money in his retirement account to pay me what the court ordered, and to make the house payments. I just want it over, so he has no control over my life.
My XAH, was arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon, and criminal threatening. He had his final pre trial hearing yesterday. I called the DA office to see if it was going to trial, since I have a DVO against him. They informed me it wasn't going to trial. A date was going to be set for a plea and sentencing hearing. Not sure what that exactly means? Thinking he probably won't get any time. Maybe the court will order rehab for him. Don't know if they do that kind of stuff.
I'm so Fustrated and confused! Just want the whole thing over. It's been 2 years now! I find my peace, just to become an emotional reck again!! Thank you all for listening!! I am hoping for a better coming year!
Zircon
I hope all had a wonderful holiday and New Year!
It seems like when you're just settling in, and trying to find some peace, bam! You're hit again with something your XAH has done that effects your life!
Our home was awarded to my XAH, he was responsible for all expenses. He had 6 months to refinance or list it for sale. Since he wasn't held a job in almost 2 years, it was listed for sale in September. The court ordered him to give me a set amount of money upon refinance or sale of the home. Well, my XAH is now behind 2 mortgage payments. Also missed his truck payment last month. Both of those loans are in my name as well. He's paying all his other bills, but not the ones in mine and his! He is purposely letting the house be foreclosed on, so I don't get anything and ruining my credit. I have texted my lawyer to see what our next move should be, with no response. My XAH, has the money in his retirement account to pay me what the court ordered, and to make the house payments. I just want it over, so he has no control over my life.
My XAH, was arrested for felony assault with a deadly weapon, and criminal threatening. He had his final pre trial hearing yesterday. I called the DA office to see if it was going to trial, since I have a DVO against him. They informed me it wasn't going to trial. A date was going to be set for a plea and sentencing hearing. Not sure what that exactly means? Thinking he probably won't get any time. Maybe the court will order rehab for him. Don't know if they do that kind of stuff.
I'm so Fustrated and confused! Just want the whole thing over. It's been 2 years now! I find my peace, just to become an emotional reck again!! Thank you all for listening!! I am hoping for a better coming year!
Zircon
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,637
Hi Zircon,
Sorry to hear all this is going on!
Few things that come to mind. You mention the truck loan is in your name, are you the legal owner of the truck? If so, if it were me, I would be organizing a tow-truck right this minute to tow it to my house or to somewhere with a garage for storage (then you need to speak with those financing the truck or sell it and hopefully cover most of the cost).
The mortgage, I would be calling the bank and explaining the situation, you may be able to negotiate a reduced monthly payment temporarily (perhaps interest only) if you are a good customer. You are then going to need to come up with those mortgage payments, don't let him lose that house.
I would then insist on lowering the house price to something a little more reasonable, to a price that would guarantee a fairly quick sale without actually making it so low you would be losing your investment.
I think you need to stop sitting by the sidelines and take some control here, he is obviously paying his own bills in his own interest, time for you to step in.
In my first divorce my exh said that he would pay off our credit card. People say things in the heat of the emotional time that don't pan out. While your situation is different in that you actually negotiated all this and have lawyers, the bottom line is it's up to you.
Good luck!
Sorry to hear all this is going on!
Few things that come to mind. You mention the truck loan is in your name, are you the legal owner of the truck? If so, if it were me, I would be organizing a tow-truck right this minute to tow it to my house or to somewhere with a garage for storage (then you need to speak with those financing the truck or sell it and hopefully cover most of the cost).
The mortgage, I would be calling the bank and explaining the situation, you may be able to negotiate a reduced monthly payment temporarily (perhaps interest only) if you are a good customer. You are then going to need to come up with those mortgage payments, don't let him lose that house.
I would then insist on lowering the house price to something a little more reasonable, to a price that would guarantee a fairly quick sale without actually making it so low you would be losing your investment.
I think you need to stop sitting by the sidelines and take some control here, he is obviously paying his own bills in his own interest, time for you to step in.
In my first divorce my exh said that he would pay off our credit card. People say things in the heat of the emotional time that don't pan out. While your situation is different in that you actually negotiated all this and have lawyers, the bottom line is it's up to you.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,004
Originally Posted by trailmix 
Hi Zircon,
Sorry to hear all this is going on!
Few things that come to mind. You mention the truck loan is in your name, are you the legal owner of the truck? If so, if it were me, I would be organizing a tow-truck right this minute to tow it to my house or to somewhere with a garage for storage (then you need to speak with those financing the truck or sell it and hopefully cover most of the cost).
The mortgage, I would be calling the bank and explaining the situation, you may be able to negotiate a reduced monthly payment temporarily (perhaps interest only) if you are a good customer. You are then going to need to come up with those mortgage payments, don't let him lose that house.
I would then insist on lowering the house price to something a little more reasonable, to a price that would guarantee a fairly quick sale without actually making it so low you would be losing your investment.
I think you need to stop sitting by the sidelines and take some control here, he is obviously paying his own bills in his own interest, time for you to step in.
In my first divorce my exh said that he would pay off our credit card. People say things in the heat of the emotional time that don't pan out. While your situation is different in that you actually negotiated all this and have lawyers, the bottom line is it's up to you.
Good luck!
Sorry to hear all this is going on!
Few things that come to mind. You mention the truck loan is in your name, are you the legal owner of the truck? If so, if it were me, I would be organizing a tow-truck right this minute to tow it to my house or to somewhere with a garage for storage (then you need to speak with those financing the truck or sell it and hopefully cover most of the cost).
The mortgage, I would be calling the bank and explaining the situation, you may be able to negotiate a reduced monthly payment temporarily (perhaps interest only) if you are a good customer. You are then going to need to come up with those mortgage payments, don't let him lose that house.
I would then insist on lowering the house price to something a little more reasonable, to a price that would guarantee a fairly quick sale without actually making it so low you would be losing your investment.
I think you need to stop sitting by the sidelines and take some control here, he is obviously paying his own bills in his own interest, time for you to step in.
In my first divorce my exh said that he would pay off our credit card. People say things in the heat of the emotional time that don't pan out. While your situation is different in that you actually negotiated all this and have lawyers, the bottom line is it's up to you.
Good luck!
Irk Zircon. My heart sank when I saw your post.
Please do what you can and let us know how you get on.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 415
Sorry to see this! I am not sure what recourse you have but you should have some control of this. I would ensure you get in touch with your attorney and find out what the heck you can do. Since your name is also on the loans I can’t believe you or your attorney can’t do something!
Hugs to you, I am so sorry for the continued struggle! ☹️
Hugs to you, I am so sorry for the continued struggle! ☹️
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 530
HI Zircon- Hang in. I know it's a small comfort that you are not paying his legal bills for the felony but you did the smart thing and got out before you had to deal with that. I know how frustrating it is that every time you call your lawyer you spend more money. I am still fighting for every dime. I am working hard to build a new life and to avoid destructive and abusive people.
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