BriarSkye

My neighbor got her second DUI and lost her job. Her car is impounded and license suspended. She and her boyfriend have been heavy drinkers and I can still smell marijuana fumes from their apartment. She asked me about the AA meetings and I gave her the schedule. I am a 62 year old disabled woman with limited resources, still working. I offered to give her a ride to the 7am meeting 4 miles away. She wanted rides to the 5:30pm meeting 4 blocks away. I have injuries and everything I do is difficult. I told her I have to work and I am on call for my job and sometimes have to leave the 5:30 meeting early, so I am just not able to do it. I have always maintained boundaries with neighbors thru my life, but in my view this is a sticky situation where boundaries are crucial. I have over 6 years clean and sober now and I have been in AA for 24 years with one relapse. Helping new people in AA means helping them within AA framework. She knows a lot of people in the area, and if she needs help going anywhere else than that is not my responsibility. It is not our job to help them clean up their mess.
"Carry the message not the mess. "

Bekindalways

Good on ya Briarskye. We all have struggled with this boundary here on friends and family. Seeking out support is your neighbors job.

Nata1980

Hmm the 4 blocks distance seems like a nice walk/jog/bike ride. When there is a will, there is a way.....you don’t need to bend over backwards to get her to the meetings - you are already helping plenty 😊 congrats on your sobriety 😊

Eddiebuckle

It would seem that four blocks is within the realm of "any length." If she prefers the 5:30, she can walk there.

Maudcat

Keep those boundaries, BriarSkye.
Four blocks isn’t a long way to walk.
Good for you for trying to carry the message.
Hope it takes for your neighbor.
Peace.