dandylion

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atalose

A good indicator for future behavior is with past behavior. I’m sure her ex is well aware of her drinking, lying and manipulations.

You fear her having a custody battle but in all honesty are the kids better off with a sneaky drunk or someone you’ve only heard one side of a story about. How do the kids feel about their father?

Since she is on your insurance, have verified that she is even in therapy?

She already has built in reasons why she is not going to leave easily this you can anticipate right from the get go. You may end up having to file an eviction with the courts. Keep in mind it is not your fault she has no money, it is not your fault she has nowhere to go, this is how we get stuck, this is how we take on responsibility that is not ours to take on.

If it where me, I’d reach out to the father of those children and have a conversation about your plans to end the relationship and ask her to leave your home. Explain your concern about the children and see what he may have to offer.

Sasha1972

FWIW my alcoholic ex had me convinced that his second-now-ex-wife was a horrible, controlling evil person, at the time when I was persuaded that he was really trying to quit drinking and that it was really all X2's fault because she created so much stress. He told her the same things about me, almost word-for-word. Then we got together (it was her initiative) and compared notes. I discovered that she is actually a pretty reasonable, sane person who got caught up in trying to "help" an alcoholic. Sounded pretty familiar to me.

Denigrating and belittling former or current partners is a way of recruiting people onto Team Alcoholic - "you and me against him/her". So I wouldn't put much faith in what she's told you about her ex.

trailmix

I imagine that to some addicts a partner who wants them to quit their DOC is a "horrible, controlling evil person" that causes a lot of stress!