The blaming is strong with that one
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He was disappointed he couldn't see his son today and said he is hoping I am honest about it, but he knows I would never speak ill of my son, so he actually didn't press that at all.
He did continue to blame shift, saying things that made no logical sense and I am paraphrasing: "I don't know if your ex or some other guy made you hate cocaine?" I don't understand this statement, AT ALL (and why is he always saying I am cheating on him?)
I have put him on block, there is no reasoning, and I tried.
He is going Toronto tomorrow and I will serve him in the next week. What a mess. I remember mentioning a while back I am numb and I can't cry. Well, today I certainly made up for the lack of crying in the last two months, that's for sure.
He did continue to blame shift, saying things that made no logical sense and I am paraphrasing: "I don't know if your ex or some other guy made you hate cocaine?" I don't understand this statement, AT ALL (and why is he always saying I am cheating on him?)
I have put him on block, there is no reasoning, and I tried.
He is going Toronto tomorrow and I will serve him in the next week. What a mess. I remember mentioning a while back I am numb and I can't cry. Well, today I certainly made up for the lack of crying in the last two months, that's for sure.
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I have found that many times when a person accuses you of something, it is actually something they have/are doing. Did you say he has cheated if I remember right?
You hate cocaine b/c it makes him crazy, it's illegal, and toxic to one's health. Enough said.
Don't fall for his blame shifting and manipulation. I am glad you blocked him, he only hurts you more each time you communicate w/him it seems.
Big hugs.
You hate cocaine b/c it makes him crazy, it's illegal, and toxic to one's health. Enough said.
Don't fall for his blame shifting and manipulation. I am glad you blocked him, he only hurts you more each time you communicate w/him it seems.
Big hugs.
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I wanted to chime in and send wishes things work out. There was a time when I needed a break from my husband and we didn't have a lot of contact. He drank and used cocaine too and the mix made him act crazy, arrogant, and illogical. Since the emails are upsetting you so much then Id block them, or just not read them. If you want simply be honest and say he is upsetting you all the time even through email and you need to break from it. Then let him know things can go through your attorney once he is informed who it is. And I would also suggest identifying some way to contact him if there is a need/emergency regarding your son. Hope the divorce and custody go smoothly.
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Originally Posted by aliciagr 
I wanted to chime in and send wishes things work out. There was a time when I needed a break from my husband and we didn't have a lot of contact. He drank and used cocaine too and the mix made him act crazy, arrogant, and illogical. Since the emails are upsetting you so much then Id block them, or just not read them. If you want simply be honest and say he is upsetting you all the time even through email and you need to break from it. Then let him know things can go through your attorney once he is informed who it is. And I would also suggest identifying some way to contact him if there is a need/emergency regarding your son. Hope the divorce and custody go smoothly.
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
You hate cocaine b/c it makes him crazy, it's illegal, and toxic to one's health. Enough said.
Don't fall for his blame shifting and manipulation. I am glad you blocked him, he only hurts you more each time you communicate w/him it seems.
Big hugs.
Don't fall for his blame shifting and manipulation. I am glad you blocked him, he only hurts you more each time you communicate w/him it seems.
Big hugs.
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Originally Posted by Soulful
He did continue to blame shift, saying things that made no logical sense and I am paraphrasing: "I don't know if your ex or some other guy made you hate cocaine?" I don't understand this statement, AT ALL (and why is he always saying I am cheating on him?)
I have put him on block, there is no reasoning, and I tried.
He is going Toronto tomorrow and I will serve him in the next week. What a mess. I remember mentioning a while back I am numb and I can't cry. Well, today I certainly made up for the lack of crying in the last two months, that's for sure.
As to why he's always saying you're cheating on him: who knows, but maybe because he kind of wishes you were cheating on him? because then he would be justified in getting all angry and righteous at you, because you would then be the bad guy?
My ex used to accuse me of doing all kinds of bizarre things which not only had I not done, I could not possibly have done even if I had wanted to.
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Originally Posted by Sasha1972
As to why he's always saying you're cheating on him: who knows, but maybe because he kind of wishes you were cheating on him? because then he would be justified in getting all angry and righteous at you, because you would then be the bad guy?
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
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"He did continue to blame shift, saying things that made no logical sense and I am paraphrasing: "I don't know if your ex or some other guy made you hate cocaine?" I don't understand this statement, AT ALL (and why is he always saying I am cheating on him?)"
My ex used to tell me that I hate drugs because I'm ignorant of them and have not tried them, and also there are: only two types of people in the world: people who use drugs as a lifestyle choice, and people who don't as a lifestyle choice. People who don't are missing out on a lot in life. This is what he used to say to me. Followed by: Because you're the type of person who considers all sides of an argument, I know that you're understanding, unlike my ex who was stupid and abusive whenever I tried to rationalize with her. I'm also telling you that I'll stop using drugs, but only because you insist on it, not because it's rational.
He used to say stuff like that all the time. If I said, "no, but..." he would interrupt me and say, "stop getting angry, you're getting angry and emotional and becoming irrational." He was a master manipulator.
Your ex seems to be... (sorry if this is rude... because I don't know him, I'm just going by the stuff he says), a selfish woman-hating big baby. His biggest fear is not losing you due to you cheating, but losing you because of another man, thus threatening his masculinity. He thinks he owns you. No other man can have you. Not even if he's a strip-club going booze hound who gambles away his son's tuition money. The biggest injury to such a person, is not that they have destroyed their health and their family, but that someone dared to hurt their cojones. IMAO. (Sorry if rude).
My ex used to tell me that I hate drugs because I'm ignorant of them and have not tried them, and also there are: only two types of people in the world: people who use drugs as a lifestyle choice, and people who don't as a lifestyle choice. People who don't are missing out on a lot in life. This is what he used to say to me. Followed by: Because you're the type of person who considers all sides of an argument, I know that you're understanding, unlike my ex who was stupid and abusive whenever I tried to rationalize with her. I'm also telling you that I'll stop using drugs, but only because you insist on it, not because it's rational.
He used to say stuff like that all the time. If I said, "no, but..." he would interrupt me and say, "stop getting angry, you're getting angry and emotional and becoming irrational." He was a master manipulator.
Your ex seems to be... (sorry if this is rude... because I don't know him, I'm just going by the stuff he says), a selfish woman-hating big baby. His biggest fear is not losing you due to you cheating, but losing you because of another man, thus threatening his masculinity. He thinks he owns you. No other man can have you. Not even if he's a strip-club going booze hound who gambles away his son's tuition money. The biggest injury to such a person, is not that they have destroyed their health and their family, but that someone dared to hurt their cojones. IMAO. (Sorry if rude).
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Originally Posted by OpheliaKatz
"
Your ex seems to be... (sorry if this is rude... because I don't know him, I'm just going by the stuff he says), a selfish woman-hating big baby. His biggest fear is not losing you due to you cheating, but losing you because of another man, thus threatening his masculinity. He thinks he owns you. No other man can have you. Not even if he's a strip-club going booze hound who gambles away his son's tuition money. The biggest injury to such a person, is not that they have destroyed their health and their family, but that someone dared to hurt their cojones. IMAO. (Sorry if rude).
Your ex seems to be... (sorry if this is rude... because I don't know him, I'm just going by the stuff he says), a selfish woman-hating big baby. His biggest fear is not losing you due to you cheating, but losing you because of another man, thus threatening his masculinity. He thinks he owns you. No other man can have you. Not even if he's a strip-club going booze hound who gambles away his son's tuition money. The biggest injury to such a person, is not that they have destroyed their health and their family, but that someone dared to hurt their cojones. IMAO. (Sorry if rude).
Men need to be straighten by women and only through prayer and understanding. Ummm... ok, so in the meantime, should I seek a partner while my husband is figuring out life?
Men are those that make mistakes until they find God, women should always be with God and cannot make mistakes and they are made to forgive.
Well, I am certainly working on that forgiveness part, but I am going to start with myself first.
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Originally Posted by Sasha1972
My ex used to accuse me of doing all kinds of bizarre things which not only had I not done, I could not possibly have done even if I had wanted to.
The reality, I left on a business trip while he was supposed to be caring for our infant child, he purchased alcohol, drank alcohol to the point of passing out ....but no, it's not his fault, it was the plot of me and my family.
Denial and projection are powerful!
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
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Yes, I've had this experience too.
Originally Posted by BAW81
In a recent court meeting, my STBXAH said that me and my family had plotted against him. I couldn't believe it was actually coming out of his mouth and even more scary that I could tell he actually has convinced himself that is what happened....
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
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Definitely forgive yourself first. You can forgive him 80 years from now.
Originally Posted by Soulful
Well, I am certainly working on that forgiveness part, but I am going to start with myself first.
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Originally Posted by BAW81
The reality, I left on a business trip while he was supposed to be caring for our infant child, he purchased alcohol, drank alcohol to the point of passing out ....but no, it's not his fault, it was the plot of me and my family.
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