Fear, pressure...
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest
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He wants us to "work out" things like child support because he doesn't want the state/law involved because it's a "pain."
That involves putting my trust in a place where trust has been shattered due to his choices and actions - falling deeply into alcohol and drug addiction, having an affair, and abandoning me and the kids.
He went for a year and a half not paying a penny toward the kids' welfare. The only reason he is able to pay anything now is because of his enabling family.
That involves putting my trust in a place where trust has been shattered due to his choices and actions - falling deeply into alcohol and drug addiction, having an affair, and abandoning me and the kids.
He went for a year and a half not paying a penny toward the kids' welfare. The only reason he is able to pay anything now is because of his enabling family.
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Midwest
Posts: 367
I appreciate everyone's input and support. I've grown so much in my recovery, but sometimes the old habits and responses rear back up.
In therapy, I've been working on my fear, as fear has been my go-to response for a very long time. Fear of saying no, fear of standing up for myself, fear of abandonment, fear of being unloved. It's very deep-seated in me.
In therapy, I've been working on my fear, as fear has been my go-to response for a very long time. Fear of saying no, fear of standing up for myself, fear of abandonment, fear of being unloved. It's very deep-seated in me.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 667
Originally Posted by Ariesagain 
YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY.
Sorry, but I couldn’t disagree more. You’re going up against a wealthy family and an ex who doesn’t think he needs to support his child AND he also thinks you’re stupid enough to sign away your rights and your child’s if he bullies you enough.
An attorney will know what your rights are in your jurisdiction and what the local judges and mediators are likely to accept.
I get that it’s scary and expensive but you owe it to your child, if nothing else.
Sorry, but I couldn’t disagree more. You’re going up against a wealthy family and an ex who doesn’t think he needs to support his child AND he also thinks you’re stupid enough to sign away your rights and your child’s if he bullies you enough.
An attorney will know what your rights are in your jurisdiction and what the local judges and mediators are likely to accept.
I get that it’s scary and expensive but you owe it to your child, if nothing else.
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Originally Posted by Ariesagain
YOU NEED AN ATTORNEY.
Sorry, but I couldn’t disagree more. You’re going up against a wealthy family and an ex who doesn’t think he needs to support his child AND he also thinks you’re stupid enough to sign away your rights and your child’s if he bullies you enough.
An attorney will know what your rights are in your jurisdiction and what the local judges and mediators are likely to accept.
I get that it’s scary and expensive but you owe it to your child, if nothing else.
Sorry, but I couldn’t disagree more. You’re going up against a wealthy family and an ex who doesn’t think he needs to support his child AND he also thinks you’re stupid enough to sign away your rights and your child’s if he bullies you enough.
An attorney will know what your rights are in your jurisdiction and what the local judges and mediators are likely to accept.
I get that it’s scary and expensive but you owe it to your child, if nothing else.
Get an attorney if for no other reason than to be able to separate yourself from all of this back & forth debate - think about how freeing it will be to say, "you'll have to discuss that with my attorney". It might be expensive, but cheaper than a long, drawn-out battle which will likely end up in the courts anyway. Don't forget to factor in preserving your sanity for things like parenting, work, school.
There's NO benefit to waiting at this point - you've been separated for more than long enough & he's been living with his affair for the bulk of it.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
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I would very sweetly say that you are just sure he has you and child's best interests at heart, but just to keep everything the way it should be, you will be getting your own attorney.
He's crazy, and a complete jerk to think he can run out on child support.
Creep.
He's crazy, and a complete jerk to think he can run out on child support.
Creep.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 497
I'm so sorry. Alarm bells are going off everywhere. I agree with getting an attorney. I don't know any state where child support doesn't involve a calculator.
I totally understand you want it to me amicable, and I can imagine the family money and presence might be intimidating. Perhaps find a good lawyer out of your immediate area.
I totally understand you want it to me amicable, and I can imagine the family money and presence might be intimidating. Perhaps find a good lawyer out of your immediate area.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
yeah i'd say he has a potential inheritance to protect and he's trying now to get you out of the picture STAT.
get an attorney, make it a priority.
it's been two years....another month or so won't really matter in the long run. just say no....what's he gonna do? huff and puff and blow your house down? he found the time to get his own attorney...........
get an attorney, make it a priority.
it's been two years....another month or so won't really matter in the long run. just say no....what's he gonna do? huff and puff and blow your house down? he found the time to get his own attorney...........
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